sol

yesterday i was talking to one of my friends, and something he said struck me: "i feel like even if the most wonderful person liked me, i wouldn't be able to like them back" and i was like: ...... wait, what? i did bring up that maybe he could be on the aro spectrum, since i also know he never liked anyone, but he said he thinks that's not it. he told me he thinks he's unconsciously sabotaging himself, because he's so insecure that it makes him feels like he isn't worthy of love. we talked a bit more about that, but it was like 3am at the time, therefore my brain cells weren't at its best, so i couldn't think of clear responses. even now, i don't really know what to think of that. and now that the conversation is over, i'm hesitant to bring this up again and be annoying. i'm not sure what to do, i thought about talking to a friend we have in common and ask their opinion, but i don't want to tell someone else about this conversation without his consent, since it was quite personal. i'm thinking about bringing that up again, and try to help him figure out if he's actually aro or not... what do you think i should do and/or say? and do you also think he may be aro, based on what told? (i may be overthinking this)

thanks for sharing! i didn't know about this game, i'm definitely going to play it when it comes out yeah! i was reading the game's page on steam, and that's actually confirmed on the key features:

i guess i don't really care about it. where i live, valentine's day isn't as big as it is in the US, so i never really felt like i'm missing out. we even have a different date for that lol it's june 12th, not february 14th. i mean, there's valentine's day (dia de são valentim, in portuguese) but we don't celebrate on that day. we have Dia dos Namorados on june 12th, which could be translated to Lovers' Day, and has no religious meaning, it's purely commercial. the date was created by a publicist, aiming to increase sales in june, the month when sales used to slow down. i like taking advantage of the chocolate discounts, and a few times i went to the movies with my best friend and pretended to be a couple because there were discounts for couples. also every year there's an event for valentine's day on a game i play, so that's fun

heyy, I just saw this what a fun idea, please sign me up!

I used to fear that too, when I was figuring out my identity. But then, a friend of mine told me that it doesn't really matter if my feelings change in the future. If aromantic is the label that feels right for me in the present, then I shouldn't be afraid to use it. edit: oop I just saw aroace_uncle said what I wanted to say in a better and more detailed way. So, second that ☝?️

probably a toaster, i think we have similar energy for some reason? have you ever tried to eat toothpaste? if yes, did it feel good?

Something I like to do is wear crop tops with an open button-up or jacket on top. This way, I can show my stomach while still hiding my silhouette. I like wearing skirts sometimes, but only if they're long and loose. I usually combine them with large t-shirts or sweaters to make the outfit look more androgynous. In general, I like to wear loose clothes and a lot of jewelry, but I try not to overthink my outfits too much and just wear what I want. I recommend checking out Iris Olympia's videos on androgynous style and outfit ideas. I find them very helpful.

welcome to Arocalypse, johnny! yeah, A-Café is a social app exclusively made for a-spec people that's currently under development, they claim to be a safe place for anyone on the ace and/or aro spectrum. the developers think the beta version will be available by March 1st, and there's a website if you want to read more about it: https://acafe.io they also have a discord server, i think you can find the invite link if you scroll down their website!

I actually have a list in my notes where I keep track of all canonically aro-spec characters I know. That's how it is currently: - Musa Faris, aromantic asexual, one of the main characters from Buuza!!, by Shazleen Khan (I love him) - Walker Anderson, aromantic asexual, main character from Wandering, by pearsfears - Landon Addison, demiromantic pansexual, one of the main characters from This Is Not Fiction, by Nicole Mannino - Kim Koizumi, aromantic asexual, main character from Chroma Key, by Brandon Dumas - Georgia Warr, aromantic asexual, main character from Loveless, by Alice Oseman (already mentioned by aroace_auncle) And I personally headcanon Alma from Charity Case, by Malacandrax, as aromantic. I don't have many arguments, I just sense an aro vibe from them, and honestly, I think they're really cool, and I want to be like them, so I like to read them as aro like me... Also, I mean, Alma is the only (relevant) character in the story who isn't romantically interested in anyone, so I wouldn't be surprised if the author said they're actually aro-spec.

Short version: started at "I don't know" or "I don't care," then went through lesbian, asexual, aromantic asexual, grayromantic asexual, to finally settle with aromantic asexual. Detailed version: I think I never really thought I was straight, I just didn't care about my sexuality for a long time. I started to care a little, and then I noticed I didn't like boys, so I just assumed I was a lesbian. When I heard about the term asexual, I thought it meant not liking anyone, so I went by that for a while until I found out about aromanticism a few months later. I labeled myself as aromantic asexual from 2017 to 2020, when I had my first intense squish and confused my feelings for romantic attraction, so I thought I was grayromantic for about four months. At that time, I joined Apocalypse, learned about squishes and other types of attraction that felt more fitting to what I was feeling for that person, and started using aromantic asexual again.

Feliz Natal! (Brazilian portuguese)

I can kinda relate to that. But I don't find faces unattractive, I just don't care about them at all, they're all kinda average to me. As an artist, I find them interesting to draw, since I think it's cool how everyone's faces are different, but that's it. I feel aesthetic attraction totally based on the person's style. As you said, I can tell if someone has a nice face, but if I don't like their style, I won't find them attractive. Also, I feel this way about bodies too. Like, if you asked me who's more attractive about two people wearing the exact same clothes and hairstyle, I'll have no idea. I don't know if that's an a-spec thing or just personal preference.

I really love Kalmia Kid by chloe moriondo, it especially makes me feel more comfortable with the idea of living alone as an a-spec person. Currently, my roommate is planning to move in with their romantic partner, and I'm sad and worried about being alone, but when I listen to this song I feel like I'm going to be fine. Like, I'll never move with a partner, and that's okay

Feeling gender dysphoria isn't a requirement for being trans! Many trans people don't feel gender dysphoria and that doesn't make them or you any less valid. I also think it's pretty common to be hesitant about identifying yourself as another identity. At least, it certainly wasn't easy for me, I was afraid of being wrong about me being trans. (but I wanted it to be true so bad, and maybe that was enough) Anyway, my little advice is: figure stuff out in your own time, it's okay to experiment with your gender expression (such as trying new clothes and/or pronouns, to see how you feel about it) even though you're not certain about being trans, I think that's really helpful when you're questioning

I don't know if you like reading comics/graphic novels, but they're my specialty, so here are some I like :) - Phantasmagoria by Ana, completed, 14 chapters, psychological, mystery, horror, LGBTQ+ characters (my personal favorite, CW: language, violence/gore) - STENCILS by Raven & Blue Jay, completed, 3 chapters, horror, mystery (CW: blood, non-graphic violence) - Humor Me by Marvin, on going, 15 chapters for now, drama, slice of life, comedy (it has romance in the genre list, but so far hasn't had any romance at all) - Ultramarine Weather by Kan, on going, 13 chapters for now, drama, fantasy, supernatural, a few LGBTQ+ characters, takes place in 1974 - Chroma Key by Brandon Dumas, on hiatus, 3 chapters for now, drama, science fiction, action, the entire main cast is LGBTQ+ (also, the main character, Kim Koizumi, is aroace. CW: transphobia, non-graphic violence) They are all available for free on Tapas!