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Does anyone else cringe at 'just friends'/'more than friends'?


SaltyArrow
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Does anyone else cringe anytime anyone says 'just friends' or 'more than friends'? Like my friends say it all the time and I know they don't do it with malice and appreciate friendship but it still kinda makes me cringe

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On 8/29/2021 at 11:40 AM, SaltyArrow said:

Does anyone else cringe anytime anyone says 'just friends' or 'more than friends'? Like my friends say it all the time and I know they don't do it with malice and appreciate friendship but it still kinda makes me cringe

Yeah I certainly do!! Especially when I feel that my love for my closest friends are stronger than most people feel about their romantic partners. ❤️

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I don't. romantic feelings as far as I know, make the person feel more important or something else besides friendship. there is more element of attraction, so the relationship is more. I don't feel it devalues friendship so much so as it emphasizes the value of romance. So, I don't find it cringe at all.

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On 8/29/2021 at 8:25 PM, JustMe said:

I hate the word "just" so much bc nothing ist "just" ....

And especially 'just friends' is disapproving the worth of friendships.

 Yeah ikr, one of my friends used the phrase 'nothing more than friends' the other day and like is this what you think about me?! 😭 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hate it so much when they say "just friends" as if friendship can't be one of the strongest connections in the world. And the implications of that phrase make me sad anyways. People constantly choose romantic partners over friends, regardless of how new the partnership is and how long the friendship has gone, and it just makes me so sad. :(

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To be honest, I did not give it much thought until now. I used the first to say that I wanted nothing more, just be friends with the person and be chill together. I can see how that is dismissive of a platonic relationship now, so I would not use it again for that reason because I value friendship a lot. Few people can actual say that we are friends and the statement be true, because I have to consider the person to be a friend first before acknowledging that they are indeed my friend and it has to be a 2-way path. Anyone can say that we are friends, that doesn't mean we are, at least that is what I believe.

I want to add to this that it is hard to find someone who is the opposite sex and be friends with them, because the automatic response or scenario is that they think you want to be friends so later you can have sex with them, as that being friends is a prerequisite for sex. I don't believe that having sex and being friends are hand in hand, nor that one leads to the other. This is me ranting about people misinterpreting my intentions to start a convo. I iust want to talk to you and maybe befriend you so we can go grab a cup of coffee and talk about life, I have zero intentions to have sex with you, I just want more friends that I can drink coffee with.

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  • 2 months later...

It used to disturb me a lot and sometimes it still does, as I haven't come to terms with it from an emotional point of view... but from inquiries of my romantic friends, it does seems that romance it's more for (most of) them and yeah, I try to understand that and be more okay with it and accept that people feel differently and have different priorities. But being more open about this also helped some of my friends give more importance to our friendship too and not take it for granted, so there is middle ground. We are both trying to understand that they are different and it matters to be intentional, so that's something.

Edited by Georgi
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/29/2021 at 5:40 AM, SaltyArrow said:

Does anyone else cringe anytime anyone says 'just friends' or 'more than friends'? Like my friends say it all the time and I know they don't do it with malice and appreciate friendship but it still kinda makes me cringe

All the time. It implies a hierarchal structure with relationships, valuing romo ones as the highest, and platonic ones as the lowest. With platonic ones often being viewed as a stepping stone for romo ones, more often than not. And obviously completely excluding other types of relationships, ones that fall into gray areas or are another thing entirely (such as QPRs/QPPs)

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