Georgi

INFP, grayaro, ace

Well, it's the short version of one of my names. I haven't used that name until I've figured out I'm non-binary and I like that the short version sounds more neutral than my heavily gendered names. Now I'm looking forward to change it legally to this version (not sure when that's going to happen), so I hope one day I can say it's my name legally too ;))

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Yes, I have been observing in my way of interacting with others that sometimes I'm apprehensive to do some things because of them maybe being codded as romantic, or because I still have ingrained in my head that some things are meant exclusively for romantic couples, or because I'm also afraid to upset the romantic partners of my friends, even when they have never indicated that... And it's weird, because sometimes I'm wondering if I'm too much for people as something non-romantic, but then I know wouldn't be "enough" for people as something romantic... And then I'm also angry at the world with the entire amatonormativity thing, but it's funny 'cause I find myself reinforcing that through my action or lack of action ;)))

Short: straight->demi->straight->ace?->straight->ace+heteroromantic->ace+grayheteroromantic->either aro+ace or graypanromantic+ace+poly<->aro, ace Well, at first I thought I was straight, because I didn't like women that way (never thought of questioning whether I like men that way, very smart =))))... then, a few years ago, I remember I've stumbled on asexuality in the search of understanding myself better, but I thought I was demisexual, then thought most of the people are demi (because people around me wouldn't talk much about sex and sexuality due to shame or the conservative mentality in the place where I was living, so I thought most people are like me). Then a few years later I've stumbled again over asexuality, someone dismissed I could be one (I don't know on what basis, esp. as I was a 24 y.o. who never has been in a relationship), then forgot again about it. Then a few months later I've found about asexuality again (and it took me another few months to figure out i've stumbled over it before =))) Went from heteroromantic to gray-heteroromantic to aro and ace. Sometimes I'm still questioning whether I am aro ace or poly and panromantic and gray, but usually I end up with aro ace, as it feels the best way to describe that intrinsically, I'm not really into the idea of being in a romantic relationship.

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Figuring out there is more than what our modern society professes in terms of feelings, relationships, possibilities in general. And that if you don't fit, doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.

Oh myyy, I can go craaazzy without bothering people ? (Well, if I do, you've been warned... and sorry :D). How on Earth Ring did I miss this thread? ? Warning: I think this is going to be kind of messy and nonsensical to read... also, I compare a lot with the books, so that may be annoying too (and it also has many spoilers from the books). I've finished season 6 yesterday (or is it 2 days ago now?). I didn't know it had only 6 episodes and when I've found out it does (because the 6th episode really looked like an end, but my brain still hopped that somehow they will do the Laconia/Duarte arc in 4 episodes ?... like you could make 3 books in 4 episodes), I was pissed off... I don't even understand why they showed the stuff that happens on Laconia in this season... when there isn't much about what exactly happens there even in book 7, the last I've finished (well, it's more about Laconia in season 6 than it is in book 7 or all the previous books). But the fact that they introduced these things make me hopeful that another company will produce some sort of a continuation, either through movies or new seasons. And I enjoyed those a lot (if someone would ask me who are my favorite characters... well, the answers is the Protomolecule and the Brown thing (I think Expanse wiki calls it Unknown Entity ;))) I mean, I do like some humans too, but these two are what keep me going through all the volumes when I feel like giving up ;))) I really liked the fact that in the show there were new things or combined things when compared to the books*. And overall, (far) more interesting. I really enjoyed the first three seasons. I think season 4 and 5 were too so much better than the books. Even season 6, though I think it's the least I like, except for the ending (I didn't like much of volume 4-6 and for sure the show helped me understand things ?). Even if I didn't like the arc with Inaros that much, I really loved that finally the Belters got sort of a happy ending. Drummer's character in the show is sooooo badass. I was wondering where is she in the books, and I've discovered she's sort of a combination of Michio Pa (who is also badass in the books and from whom the character of Drummer in the movies is mostly inspired) and actual Drummer (who probably is going to be badass too, because there isn't so much about her until now, but she seems like that ?). I got pissed off they killed Alex in season 5 because of the actor... it was weird to read book 7, which happens 30 years later, with Alex still alive and kickin', especially as I like his character a lot. I wished there would have been more in the show about Naomi and Filip, maybe how they would mend their relationship? It kind of happened the same in the books up to book 8... except Filip ended up looking for a job at a cleaning company and had a hard time, as he didn't want to use Inaros as a surname, thus didn't have any document to be hired legally. In the books it's then when he changes to Nagata (after he runs away from his father, just before he got "eaten" by the Brown thing ?. Okay, I've enjoyed that part a lot.) I really liked how Holden played Avasarala at the end ? In the book, it didn't happen so radically. Indeed, Avasarala proposed Holden to be the president of the Transport Union, but he says directly then that they should give the Belters the right to have a real voice in that, so it's then when he nominalizes Michio Pa, which is the badass who does what Drummer does in season 6. He also tells Naomi afterwards that if Pa wouldn't have accepted, Naomi would have been his second proposal. When I saw that in the show, that he accepted to be president, I really felt like going crazy (like whattt??? where is the happy ending for the Belters?????). But in the end, I think I've enjoyed a lot how he accepted and then resigned so quickly ? in the show. I didn't like much how the idea of taking interviews of people from Earth and Ceres was done in the movie. In the book, Holden came up first with the idea of taking interviews of people from Ceres who were going through hardships, in order to portray the Belters not like killers, but like normal humans, who are suffering as well. He talked with Monica Stuart too, who I think started interviews on Luna, or anyway, with Earthers somewhere. They wanted to show that no matter whether they are Belters, Earthers, or Martians, all of them people who were going through hardships, so the point was to show the real face of people from X,Y, Z and to emphasize their shared humanity. And it kind of evolved in a trend, because people from other asteroids/places started uploading similar interviews on the internet, so people basically became connected through that? I felt in the show it wasn't portrayed very well, especially what impact it actually had, not to mention that, if I remember well, in the show Avasarala came up with the idea? Why, I don't know... maybe they wanted to emphasize she wanted to change and not treat Belters as second-hand citizens anymore? Oh, another thing that makes me think there might be a follow up is that... in the show, it's shown that Clarissa Mao has just 5 years to live, when in the book she lives for 30 years more? There are still stuff I don't understand why the producers created for/mixed in the show, because there didn't seem to be any point with them, but this makes me hopeful too for a continuation. As a conclusion: I did enjoy the show far more than the books. I do feel like Sci Fi did a better job than Amazon... but then also, the arc the Amazon had wasn't the best, or at least I didn't like it that much. Also, Amazon did a good job with season 4 and 5 when compared with the book. There are many things that piss me off (especially with the books), but somehow I'm really in love with the Expanse universe and the tv series contributed a lot to that ? And even if sometimes I find so hard reading the books, I do enjoy finding details about certain things, like the Protomolecule and the Brown Thing, the relationship between people and so on. And I really hope there will be more about the Protomolecule and its creators and also the Brown Thing in book 8 and 9 ? (like maybe actually communicating with them directly? =)))) I really enjoyed how they were portrayed (???) in the tv show. (Probably I resemble a little with that mad scientist that was obsessed with the Protomolecule =))) ___________________________________________ Now, my time for questions ;)) (no need to answer to all or to any if you don't feel like it) How did you find out about the series? What did you enjoy the most? Do you think there is going to be sort of a continuation (under the form of movies/new seasons?) What would you change if you could? Okay, maybe that's enough for now ?

Yeah, they too

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I don't know if it has been mentioned... but maybe Clarissa Mao from Expanse?

First I've figured out I'm ace. After that, I kind of observed that, maybe I'm not that much of a romantic person, but in the beginning I didn't think I could be aro, because I told a guy a like him and I thought what I've felt for other guys was also romantic stuff. But then I've started seeing more aro content, reading aro books or even posts here or on AVEN and stuff like this. I was in denial for the longest with my romantic identity because of that happened in the past until I've started understanding that what I've felt was similar to what I've felt for my close girl friends and also to what lesbians describe as compulsory heterosexuality. Then also some feelings I had back then, when I thought I'm heterosexual, that didn't seem to make sense (like the fact that I have decided oh, it looks like I'm quite old, I should be searching for a romantic relationship; that I was as excited to meet my close friend back then as I was with this guy; that I was relieved when he rejected me, and that I really couldn't picture myself in a romantic relationship or I was thinking what the hell I would be doing if he felt the same; and the fact that I wasn't much affected by his rejection), started making actual sense. Sometimes I still question myself, as sometimes my feelings for some people are quite strong and don't know what to make out of them, but the moment I try to switch to romantic, things feel weird.

For the New Year, I've visited my friends who are 4 hours away (and basically in another country ;))). All of them are women and were complaining how hard is to live with men in romantic and sexual relationships (most of them hetero, just one person bi, but hasn't tried to be with a woman yet). At the same time, they were complaining how they can't imagine life living without a man and without being in a romantic relationship and that they have to try harder to be happy, so they have to try harder for these relationships... then, the one who I am closest to from them, says: except *my name*, they feel good the way they are and don't need a man in their life. I was happy to see myself acknowledged (at that moment I was out only to her as aro and ace), and felt a little bit sad for them ;))) (but then didn't have the courage to confront them why they think they have to be in a relationship to be happy or that there are other types of relationships they could try, as my mind was totally trying to get out of the conversation until my friend acknowledged me, so one minus too ? Then I was watching this movie. At some point two guys were getting married, and there was a long queue at the person who was officiating them. This person, an older lady, took a break at some point and one of the main characters (he wasn't the one getting married) asked her a bunch of questions about relationships and stuff. And then, seeing a wedding ring, asks her for how long has she been married. She answers the ring is fake, because you don't see a fat trainer in a gym, right? And that she has never been married.

In Romanian I guess it would still be aromantic (masculine) and aromantică (feminine).

Hmm, not sure whether it's okay to write about this here, but don't know where else ;))) So I kind of liked how the relationship between Amos and Clarissa developed in the fifth season of the tv-show. Then I didn't give much attention when I was reading books 5 and 6, as I didn't like them that much, but as book 7 is so refreshing, I started giving more attention to details again. So, maybe a little bit of a spoiler (though I don't know if they are going to mention anything in the movies about this, given there will be no more seasons -for now- until the sixth one), but I think the relationship between Amos and Clarissa may be sort of a qpr? (the action in book seven happens after 30 years after the events from the tv show). Also, for my post to connect more with this post, I'm really looking forward to season 6 ;)))

It used to disturb me a lot and sometimes it still does, as I haven't come to terms with it from an emotional point of view... but from inquiries of my romantic friends, it does seems that romance it's more for (most of) them and yeah, I try to understand that and be more okay with it and accept that people feel differently and have different priorities. But being more open about this also helped some of my friends give more importance to our friendship too and not take it for granted, so there is middle ground. We are both trying to understand that they are different and it matters to be intentional, so that's something.

Now: 1: Meal: I just love food a lot =))) 2: Snack/desert/junk food: sweets with coffee; dried chickpeas?? (i'm not sure what are those exactly); popcorn with extra cheese3: Movie: Arrival4: TV show: Expanse, Stranger things5: Book/Series: Claudie Arseneault's City of Spires trilogy6: Music/Song: There are many songs I love, depending on my mood. One of those is this 7: Animal: my dog? ;)) do plants count? ;)))8: Game: I don't play because I know I'd become obsessed ;)))9: Hobby: reading, roller skating, writing10: Idea for a strange law that you'd like to pass. I have no idea ;))) Back when I was a child 1: Meal: I loved all kind of meals too ;))) 2: Snack/desert/junk food: Pufuleti 3: Movie: wasn't too much into movies 4: TV show: some korean dramas 5: Book/Series: Eragon and some others, but don't remember the titles 6: Music/Song: didn't listen to too much music until about 5 years ago 7: Animal: still my dog ;))) Didn't have plants back then ;))) 8: Game: Captain Claw 9: Hobby: translating stuff for a forum/website dedicated to Korean culture 10: Idea for a strange law that you'd like to pass. I don't think I was more creative back then either ;))

I would say if you feel like your feelings are not exactly romantic... to trust your gut. Also, not having romantic feelings doesn't mean you can't love a person in other ways. It is that both of you have to find ways to fulfill your desires and decide whether what you are able to fulfill is enough for both of you. Also, you could take a look into relationship anarchy? I just discovered this concept not so long ago, so I don't know much either, but it may be good to check that up :)

In the beginning I hesitated... both because I was feeling uncertain of my aro identity, but also because having a black ring on my right middle finger and a white one on my left middle finger would attract too much attention, especially as I don't wear jewelry in general... but then, I realized most of the pressure was coming from "what would people think", so I said screw it... and now i have 2 chunky rings on my middle fingers and feel proud ;)))

Hmm, I like reading a lot, from silly stories to blogposts/articles/books on astronomy, gender, sexuality, non-monogamy, SF and fantasy worlds, psychology, etc. I also love roller skating and I've started writing too, but my writing is still very bad ;))) Sometimes I like hanging out with friends and cook together too, but most of them live in other countries so it's not that easy ;))) Lately, I've discovered a like listening to music and singing, and also listening podcasts ;))

There is an island in Prague, the city where I'm living now, where a former friend of mine told me couples usually go for dates. For this reason, I call it the "love island" =)). I wanted to take some of my friends who came to Czechia last week there... but we ended up on another island, because I have mistaken it and then we were to lazy to go to the "island of love" ;))

Kind of yes. And I think my mom is kind of heart broken because of this. She kept on hinting to the idea of having grandchildren... my brother knew I hated that and she just told her that I don't want kids, because I was too chicken to tell her. After a while, I also said it to her. I still don't think she fully buys it and she may still be hoping that later I will give her grandchildren (as I'm the oldest one and also afab...?).

Yes, I think I do experience different kind of platonic stuff regarding close friends... I know for some of my closest friends I've felt probably what are squishes or meshes... to the point I've questioned a few times whether that is romantic or not. They were and are a lot to what people describe as crushes, but then... for whatever reasons, I would feel suffocated to be in a romantic relationship with them (and weirdly enough, I wasn't bother by them having romantic interests in some other people). I sometimes call this as alterous attraction, but I see it as a type of platonic one too. Then there were somehow in a friendship triangle other types of friendships... they were quite close, but then I knew in a way they were different, even with all three of us saw each other as equals... Then, a relationship that I've developed in the past year and I don't think this has happened before... I know there are no sudden crazy feelings, but then I know there is trust and emotional compatibility... in a way, I feel like this is a relationship built brick by brick with both of us being more aware (well, this friendship started a few years ago, then became almost dead and wasn't feeling comfortable in it... but then both of us changed our perspectives last year). I know it's different from what I've felt in the first part of our friendship years ago. It's far more mature for sure, but also the feelings are different in nature. In a way are similar to the ones I've described as alterous, but it's not some weird chemicals in my brain, is me being aware and deciding about my feelings more I think? I'm not sure.