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Elin W

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About Elin W

  • Birthday 09/28/1983

Personal Information

  • Name
    Elin
  • Orientation
    I’m trying to figure things out 😊
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She her
  • Location
    Sweden

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  1. I learnt about both asexuality and aromanticism in December - so I’m new knowing about it but I’ve felt this way all my life. It took me more thinking to realise I was asexual, but I knew aromanticism was my identify as soon as I learnt about it. As long as I can remember I simply haven’t got it, I haven’t understood what “romantic love” is all about. I was indifferent to it growing up which made me an outsider (I guess I’m an outsider in other ways too....) When being a teenager hearing other girls talking about them wanting a guy who would take care of them - my spontaneous reaction was to just laugh - why wouldn’t they be able to take care of themselves? I grew up religious and my faith has always been very important to me. Which also means that I thought “that thing about finding the love of your life” can wait until later. When others my age in church were struggling with their both sexual and romantic attractions (having the ideal to wait until marriage you know 😌 that was the ideal in the church communities where I grew up) I was just indifferent and often annoyed as well. I has always been the quiet listener to my friends’ talking about being unhappy in love or feeling sexual attraction for people who didn’t want them back. ive always thought my indifference and repulsion to romantic love has had to do with my parents’ relationship. They haven’t been mean to each other but they’ve never been romantically interested in each other, I think. At least that’s how they’ve talked about it - of course they’ve had love for each other and affection, but never in a sentimental way. And they’ve never shown affection towards each other the way that is expected I think in western society. I’ve always thought that “I’m never going to settle for someone just because, I’m going to wait until I really FEEL real love for somebody”. But that feeling has never happened to me. I can enjoy thinking about romantic love sometimes. It’s the same with sex for me, I enjoy thinking about it certain weeks (not every month though). When I do I can read romantic and erotic books - but romance books without sexual content usually bores the hell out of me. And the interest always fades away after a couple of days..... I’ve always been wondering about this and thought myself to be so weird. Why do I never feel these things in my own life, why do I only enjoy reading about it sometime? I’ve been wondering about what’s wrong about me for my whole life (I’m 37) and then I read about both asexuality and aromanticism in December and it has given me a whole new perspective on my life. And also this community - to know that others are feeling similar and have similar experiences, that means a lot to me. 😌
  2. Reminds me of when my aunt asked me: “And you haven’t found one?” (She was talking about a man of course.) And the answer came from my heart in a relieved tone of voice: “No seems like I’m better off!” 😅 And she said very confused and annoyed: “What?!” The dialogue is even better in my language, Swedish ☺️ anyway, it was before I knew about aromanticism, I’ve never been interested in romantic relationships, whenever I was trying to care about it because “you should” it just felt like me trying to press myself into a mold that didn’t fit me. Or like I was trying to make myself feel something I just wasn’t able to feel. When I learnt about aromanticism a few months ago I felt such a relief and I thought about that conversation I had with my aunt - it was just such an aromantic moment! ☺️
  3. That’s also one of the ways I’ve realised that I’m aromantic, after learning about it just a few months ago. Well actually, I did recognized this “incapability” to connect with romantic love before knowing there was a word for it and i was the only one feeling this way but....
  4. I’m having what I now realise is “aro moments” when I sit listening to my friends talking and talking about how hard it is to be in love - both when their love interest is also feeling the same for them, or not. and I’m sitting there thinking “If it’s so difficult and frustrating - then why do it?” :P 😅
  5. It sounds like a wonderful idea! Thanks for the ebook :) im really going to try and be with you this time. Life has been very crazy lately, so I’ve been to busy, but looking forward to it :)
  6. Hi! I’ve been away from this forum for a while but excited to take part in the video chats again :) the dates seem good but if it’s on Sunday I won’t be able to participate cause I’m working that time :)
  7. Looking forward to tomorrow :) This is maybe a silly question but do I need an app to use google meet? Is there a link, or how does it work? This year has meant a lot of video meetings but this app is still new to me x)
  8. I’ve never understood that sport but there are a lot of sports that I don’t understand 😄
  9. Not being a sport person I have no clue about golf but I think I know what you mean! 😁😊
  10. I was recommended to this by Erederyn and I definitely would like to join! ive just recently, couple of weeks back realised that I might be ace and aro. I’ve read about it and recognized myself and now Im taking the next step to learn more through interacting with people so this is perfect for me :) Im in Sweden so I’ll be have to figure out what time it will be over here but I’d it’s 7 pm UK time it should be 6 pm over here. Right? :P Sorry, I’m just so confused about time zones xD Is was January 10th right? It will work perfectly for me. is it through google meet or discord? (Sorry I’ve read through the forum thread but maybe it read too quickly ) 😅😊
  11. I’m 37 and I’m in the process trying to figure things out. I’ve just recently, this month in December read about asexuality and aromanticism in the books “the invisible orientation” by Julie Sondra Decker and “ace” by Angela Chen. If has a been very mind blowing and emotional read. I wanted to learn more because I want to learn more about every lgtbq+ Orientation of course. I’m Christian and work in church (I’m swedish) I don’t work much with lgtbq+ including work at the moment but I really want to, so I need to learn more. And I’m always interested learning about different people on a personal level too of course. I found out about the ace and aro community and was absolutely in love with this from the start. I love when people dare to break norms in society, and the norm of sex and romanticism is a really strong one. I was also curious about asexuality because during these last years of course I’ve been wondering about why I never meet someone and fall in love as my friends of my age. People around me of my age are settling down and having families, but I’m single as always with a non existing sex life. This has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety, but I’ve realised when thinking about it that it’s not necessary that I actually miss having a partner that’s stressful - is that pressure of love being something that is considered as bringing meaning to life, being a part of growing up and so on. I’ve been afraid of missing out something very important and I’ve been worried that I wouldn’t be happy and content with life if I wouldn’t experience love. I know I’ve even been thinking that “if I only I could just have one of those shitty heartbreaking love affairs that won’t end well, but at least then I can say that I’ve experienced life “ - which is totally crazy of course. I don’t want to be with someone I don’t like just to be able to say “been there done that” 🤣😂 I’ve realised a lot of things while reading those books. I’ve recognized myself and it has been overwhelming and I’ve been feeling very emotional, vulnerable and like being out of my comfort zone. I’m used to listening to friends talking about their love life and and sexuality. Me, I have had hard time talking about that because I don’t feel the same feelings of course, and also because I’ve been feeling odd , that I can’t really relate to what they seem to experience. These couple of weeks I’ve been messaging with people on the AVEN site and also with an online friend and I’ve found myself discussing sexuality in a new way, like I can put words on things I haven’t been able to talk about with friends before. Maybe you recognize this: me telling friends “you know, I might not be capable of feeling things like romance “ and they reacting like I’m saying the most depressing thing in the world and saying “oh noooo you WILL find someone some day, it will come” It will come? I’m 37 years old :P I am writing a long message here, but I guess I have such the need of putting my experiences and feelings into words to see how others would react and start interacting with people. I’ve read about this. Next step is to get in touch with others, I think, to try and see if I really fit in here. I feel very humble. The aces and aros, you all are amazing people to me and I’m just grateful if I can get in touch with any of you to be able to figure things out about myself (I hope). I’d be so grateful if anyone would message me to exchange personal experiences and talk, would mean so much to me. So feel free to contact me 😊 and thanks for being such a welcoming forum!
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