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Aromantic Moments


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41 minutes ago, iridescent-apatosaurus said:

Why, Why, and I mean WHY all media has to have at least one romantic subplot.  I'm not against reading an ocasional romance book, or a show with a romantic arc, but, every single freaking time?

 

No thanks.

Also every single ad in between the shows. You're advertising a car... Why is this so heteronormative!?

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1 hour ago, aussiekirkland said:

Also every single ad in between the shows. You're advertising a car... Why is this so heteronormative!?

 

 

Some products are finally showing non-hetero couples in ads.  Tide is good for this.. they've had... um.. 3 so far, I think.  But yeah, most products are advertised by 'gorgeous woman and gorgeous man in obvious romantic relationship' themes.  

 

By now, the 'obvious romantic relationships' of these ad-couples bother me a lot less than the fact that you never see women who are over 30, anything but physically perfect, or anything over a size 4 anymore.  You don't see many older women (unless they've undergone a shitload of cosmetic surgery to look younger), any woman with facial scarring or a large nose or imperfect teeth or any kind of facial blemish, and you only see plus-sized women in diet company/drug commercials.  You don't even see plus-sized models showing clothing meant for plus-sized bodies - instead, they size-down the clothing and hire non-plus-sized models, which is bloody sick, as far as I'm concerned.  Ad people, how about some freakin' physical diversity?!?

We're finally seeing ads with gay couples and mixed-race couples... so how about some normal-looking, non-model people?  Regular folk.  People who are short, or fat, or have wrinkles or scars?  People who look average. 

Ads bug me on so many levels... it isn't even the heteronormativity and romance-expectations that flick on the raw anymore. 

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On 7/11/2016 at 7:02 PM, aussiekirkland said:

Also every single ad in between the shows. You're advertising a car... Why is this so heteronormative!?

 

You might be talking about a different car ad, but there's this car commercial I keep hearing on spotify that's like "The moon roof I'll propose to you under...the backseat our kids will grow up in..." Blah blah blah aka these are things literally everyone should want and plan for. If you're selling a car tell me it's a good car, don't rely so much on pathos. Drives me bananas. I always mute it.

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On 11/07/2016 at 9:38 AM, aussiekirkland said:

There's a point where monogamy is taken too far? Needing every single one of your needs met from a single person (particularly non romantic needs) sounds seriously unhealthy to me. I just can't understand it. That ideology (which has come up a few times now) is probably the reason why some romantics are so quick to replace their friends and family with a romantic partner.

 

I've never understood wanting monogamy.

Similarly I've always found the idea that couples do everything together, including things which arn't even sexual or sensual, to be baffling.
Abandoning people in favour of someone you have just met dosn't seem in any way "friendly" or "loving" in the first place.

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On 7/11/2016 at 9:38 AM, aussiekirkland said:

I just... There's a point where monogamy is taken too far? Needing every single one of your needs met from a single person (particularly non romantic needs) sounds seriously unhealthy to me. I just can't understand it. That ideology (which has come up a few times now) is probably the reason why some romantics are so quick to replace their friends and family with a romantic partner.

 

Yeah it's unhealthy. One of my friends(and former housemate) has has a girlfriend who never leaves her side. She lived with us last year at uni, and I never saw my friend unless the girlfriend was away. Her best friend was also living with us and they never spent any time together because of it. (Though the girlfriend was controlling).

 

1 hour ago, mpe0 said:

 

I've never understood wanting monogamy.

Similarly I've always found the idea that couples do everything together, including things which arn't even sexual or sensual, to be baffling.
Abandoning people in favour of someone you have just met dosn't seem in any way "friendly" or "loving" in the first place.

 

I don't see why people can only have one partner. Especially if, as some people think, simply thinking about another person while in a romantic relationship is seen as cheating. Never understood that one.

 

On 7/12/2016 at 4:40 AM, UncommonNonsense said:

 

 

Some products are finally showing non-hetero couples in ads.  Tide is good for this.. they've had... um.. 3 so far, I think.  But yeah, most products are advertised by 'gorgeous woman and gorgeous man in obvious romantic relationship' themes.  

 

By now, the 'obvious romantic relationships' of these ad-couples bother me a lot less than the fact that you never see women who are over 30, anything but physically perfect, or anything over a size 4 anymore.  You don't see many older women (unless they've undergone a shitload of cosmetic surgery to look younger), any woman with facial scarring or a large nose or imperfect teeth or any kind of facial blemish, and you only see plus-sized women in diet company/drug commercials.  You don't even see plus-sized models showing clothing meant for plus-sized bodies - instead, they size-down the clothing and hire non-plus-sized models, which is bloody sick, as far as I'm concerned.  Ad people, how about some freakin' physical diversity?!?

We're finally seeing ads with gay couples and mixed-race couples... so how about some normal-looking, non-model people?  Regular folk.  People who are short, or fat, or have wrinkles or scars?  People who look average. 

Ads bug me on so many levels... it isn't even the heteronormativity and romance-expectations that flick on the raw anymore. 

 

Now I'm noticing it too!

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My ex wanted to do everything together. Mentally I was screaming at him the entire time to continue with his social life from before he met me and leave me alone. I kind of feel bad for him, without my realizing it when entering into the relationship, it was doomed from the start. My massive need for personal space paired with my aversion to any form of romantic displays directed towards myself pretty much makes any form of romantic relationship seem like a torture session. While I am glad for having dated him as it allowed me to understand that dating just isn't for me, I do feel bad that he had to go through it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
2 hours ago, Simowl said:

Please say this guy just wants to be friends and isn't actually flirting....

 

This... :facepalm:

 

And I have that same fear with girls, too, on the rare occasion that I actually get along with one well enough for it to be an issue.

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I just got done playing Undertale, and when I encountered the

extremely absurd dating sim parody on the date with Papyrus

, I was simultaneously very perplexed and going "well, I mean, this makes exactly as much sense as IRL dating, so why not?]

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On 6/3/2016 at 4:10 AM, aussiekirkland said:

I remember when we watched the Romeo + Juliet movie for English class and I was trying to figure out why everyone loved it because from a media standpoint it was cheesy and stupid as hell but from what I could gather

1) "it's so romantic"

2) "Leonardo DiCaprio is sooo hot"

I had to do the same thing for English class, excepted everyone else thought the movie was terrible as well and my two friends who know how aro I am were probably enjoying watching me lose it in my chair.

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On 7/25/2016 at 9:22 PM, shotinthehand said:

IMG_0325.PNGan appropriate face to make when romantic drama is introduced

Spock making this face is honestly the best thing about most of the first season (yes, I know this particular example is from season 2), because at that point the majority of the episodes still had lots of what I call "unnecessarily allo moments", but Spock being there to essentially demonstrate my exact reaction made it worthwhile.

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this isn't something everyone would relate with. but as a questioning aromantic, one who is likely to end up in a romantic relationship someday somehow, I often find myself saying or acting in a way around a friend who might have romantic feelings for me and then thinking "shoot! if they have romantic feelings for me, what I just said was probably a total heartbreak moment for them, oops"

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I realized something that cleared my head regarding my romantic orientation, to say for certain that I am grey. but then, when I went to change my profile to reflect this newfound understanding, I saw "companionate" and said, "well, yeah, this is better. my orientation is important for any potential partner, and I would definitely not care whether or not I feel romantically for a partner in order to be with them." and so I left it as "companionate" anyway hehe.

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When I have some trouble with a friend, and I try to Google for ideas and possible solutions, and all the results that come up are all about couple problems instead of friend problems, when I specifically typed in "friend"...

 

I just sigh and read them anyway, and try to adapt what they're saying... but then realize that over half of what they're saying would be kind of weird to try in a friendship context. Meh. :facepalm:

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My female family members were saying how in high school they never had many female friends... I didn't get this because most of my friends are girls, so I thought maybe I just had really cool friends (and I do!) until they said, "yeah, they always stab you in the back as soon as you get a boyfriend!"

 

So I smirked to myself.

 

Aros have more fun.

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