tell me one (or a lot) of reason(s) you love being Aro!

[neth]

Since I've realized I'm Aro I feel so much happiness and affection for this piece of me and I hope others here feel the same! So please comment why you love being aro or what makes you love your Aroness! 

I'll go first! I love the way I love unromantically. I feel like I get to experience more varieties of affection and intimacy that alloros may miss. That makes me really excited. It feels like more colors were added to my life!

I hope this will spread some aro self love as well! So please go wild and let me know all the good feels!

[nonmerci]

I love how I can focus on other things in life. Alloromantics seem to put to much effort in finding a partner, then keep their partner, having their relationship works... It seems like a lot of energy is give for that. But as I am aro, I can put this energy in other projects and I have more time for myself.

I love to not go crazy about shipping and enjoy shows for their plot, not for the couples.

I also like how I can look to romantic relationships in a more analytic and logical way.

[Alaska Native Manitou]

I don't have to worry about suddenly becoming irrational & obsessive over someone.  I won't act like a pervert or abandon a friend for a chance to get closer to someone I just met.

You know, I'm glad we can talk like this on Arocalypse.  At AVEN the rules are like "don't say it's an advantage to be ace, that's discrimination!"  But from a minority perspective:  

Edited November 10, 2020 by 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess

[nonmerci]

44 minutes ago, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

At AVEN the rules are like "don't say it's an advantage to be ace, that's discrimination!" 

What? How does liking a part of yourself is discrimination? Are we not allowed to have self-esteem our to love ourselves for what we are?

[senACEay_11]

One great thing about being aro is that we give the best relationship advice (aka break up).

Or, we actually give really well articulated advice because of how unrelatable some of the situations are, so our perspective isn't muddled with emotion.

[GoodbyeRepublicServices]

I love the fact that I feel freer as an aro. For example, I don't get crushes, which I think lock a person into a mental prison. I will not desire to spend thousands for a wedding, because I'm never going to get married. Without the burden of commitment to a romantic relationship, I can focus on other things in my life, such as school.

[Alaska Native Manitou]

3 hours ago, nonmerci said:

What? How does liking a part of yourself is discrimination? Are we not allowed to have self-esteem our to love ourselves for what we are?

That's what I thought when I 1st saw it.  In fairness I haven't seen that rule enforced, but it's unsettling that they even say such a thing.

[LaReine]

The label makes me feel freerer. I'm finally able to sort out my feelings towards other people because I know they are not romantic. And I feel less like an outcast now for not wanting a relationship. 

I'm at peace with the fact that platonic affection for my friends and family is enough for me. 

Edited November 8, 2020 by LaReine

[D0NN13_D1N0]

Allo's say they 'can't focus on stupid work bc I am thinking of themm <3' which to me sounds awful, especially as I have ADHD, meaning I already have problems with productivity.

But I am also not trying to impress people I don't like, on dates I don't enjoy. 

I am not constantly having to sacrifice things for my parter, telling them everything I intend to do so as not to offend, or stepping round their emotions, always wondering if I said something wrong.

And thank god; I find my companions not based off of oxytocin and dopamine releases, chemicals which will inevitably fade over time, but those who I have a genuine, great love for as a person, those who I have similarities with and enjoy being around. I think somehow this is more real, it's certainly longer lasting than romantic attraction, which I consider to be an embellishment to platonic love. This love is put first for me, while allo's will chuck their friends to the wayside, a result of finding that dopamine fix.

[roboticanary]

I love that the journey to finding out I am aro has led me to interesting thoughts on friendship and the weight put on people by our ideas of love and what a relationship would do. If I wasn't aro I would likely never have heard of the idea of amatonormativity for example, despite it explining so many things even for people who aren't aro. I probably wouldn't have heard of relationship anarchy either, or basically any idea of how to live life besides grow up, get married, have a couple of kids.

Also while there is a cost to being single it is freeing to be in control of my own income in  way which is not possible in a relationship. I can make the financial sacrifices I want to save money if I am comfortable making them without worrying about whether someone else would agree to that. Similarly anything I get as a luxury is defined by what I want, I don't have to worry about being in a relationship with someone and having to come to agreement over what we are allowed to get.

[Nagito]

To be honest, the most important reason to love my aroness is I’m a represenation of underrepresented nonheteronormative minority and I don’t have to try find less known things about the topic to create content about it! I simply can post everything because in my language it’s very rare to find anything about aromanticism and it’s a very good feeling to be ’in the right place’. Yeah, I know it probably sounds a little egocentric but I’ve been always a quiet person and now I have a reason to talk to people.

And I met a lot of great persons by it. Unfortunately all are internet friends but I really like them and if not being aro I probably wouldn’t know them!

[Collie]

Can I say that I like how it makes me feel kinda unique? Is that okay?

[sol]

this thread is so wholesome, i love it!

I feel like I value my relationships more than my allo friends. They focus so much on their romantic relationships or on seeking for a romantic relationship, they seem to put their other relationships aside.

During my self-discovery journey, I found out about so many new interesting terms and was able to reframe my idea of love. It made me think outside the box and reflect on what I truly want and what I don't. I think if I wasn't aromantic, I wouldn't try to understand my feelings in such depth. And I love understanding more about myself!

(also I love the aromantic flag very much, green is my favorite color)

[cyancat]

i don’t have to worry about crushes anymore. or... make up elaborate reasons and stories about how i totally definitely have a crush on this one person. it’s... very freeing realizing that i’ll never have a crush on someone no matter how long i wait; i don’t have to wait anymore.

[roboticanary]

something else that came up for me a while back, looking for work is much less stressful when you dont have to restrict yourself based on a romantic partner.

I know a friend who had struggled to get a job because their partner was not willing to move from his hometown. fair enough but it meant they were kind of screwed for options because this place was in the arse end of nowhere. had another friend who gave up a damn good night shift job due to a relationship with someone who worked 9 to 5 and hating not being able to see them. An uncle of mine gave up a fairly chill job he liked because he desperately needed something better payed to start a family.

having that freedom to just move where work is better if i need to but also not being forced into jobs I dont want to do because romance reasons is really nice. Also if i really need to I have the option of moving jobs or quitting with only my dumb self in trouble for it.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

Not having to deal with toxic people who may be covert about their abusive tendencies or behavior and always be on your toes, thus never getting to enjoy the interaction. Also, not doing 'weird stuff' like falling in love, and them somehow rationalizing toxic and/or abusive behaviors as love. I think I'm so pessimistic, jaded, and misanthropic about humanity sometimes that idk if I could ever date in alloromantic manner due to the weird stuff that I've seen on dating sites and apps from friends. However, the one good thing about dating apps (specifically OkCupid)was that I met some aro people on those sites.

Edited January 8, 2021 by MulticulturalFarmer
added words

[Bas]

To be perfectly honest, one of the things I love most about being aro is partaking in aro culture & humor & memes. It's the best shit lol, never fails to get me laughing.

[Cinematic]

I like the freedom, I know that I can be happy on my own (as the last year has proven) and I'm relieved that I don't feel obliged to pretend to be alloromantic. I've always felt that I'd be most content with a close circle of friends. Plus, you can steer completely clear of all the toxic dating culture.

[alto]

I am not sure if I am aro, but I do enjoy the (I feel) very unique way that I experience love.  Wouldn't give it up for the world.

[An Aro in the Quiver]

I like how I feel more comfortable with myself. I feel like I can enjoy the company of more people without worring I will fall in love. I like how I can express the love I feel for my friends and how it isn't taken the wrong way y either of us. I love the feeling that I do not need to find someone to live with and spend the rest of my life with, that I can just enjoy my own company.

[roboticanary]

One little thing that I was reminded of recently, There seem to be a lot of things that many romantic people feel uncomfortable doing alone, for example having a meal out. I don't care I'm gonna enjoy myself.

A friend of mine asked me if it felt wierd to be in a restaurant alone, I said I didn't care and I had a lovely time.

[Riverstyx]

I don’t have to deal with the stress of finding a lifelong partner. And I’ve asked people and romantic entanglements seem stressful. I get to bake and read and just hang out with my friends and family.

[The A in Rainbow]

Biggest perk for me about being aro ace is that I don’t care what I look like. There is no one I’m trying to impress. I wear what I want to wear and have never felt like I need to change myself for someone else. Of course I occasionally struggle with my body but once I realised I was aro ace it was so much easier. 

[roboticanary]

Not having to deal with weddings is a big plus.

I got talking to my dad the other day and he works hiring out staging, lighting, that sort of stuff so deals with a fair few fancy weddings. He was telling me that there was a scam going round where someone would promise prep and planning for a wedding for a price so much cheaper than usual. Show a few signs that things were being done. E.g. some flowers, invites, other cheap stuff. Then bail out and disappear leaving the couple with no venue and no wedding.

But  looking at it we couldn't be too harsh on the couples because a lot of the faff around weddings is ridiculously overpriced. So the scammer could make it seem like they were just a decent sort saving the couple from being cheated out of their cash.

All in all i'm glad I have no intention of going through that. And no intention of having a partner who would pressure me onto doing that.

[Neptune]

I love that I dont have to worry about breakups.

I love that I can be a more loyal friend because I don't worry about romantic relationships

I love that I can be myself and experience the world without the weight of a relationship on my shoulders 

I love that I'm never trying to impress anybody so I can truly be myself