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The A in Rainbow

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Everything posted by The A in Rainbow

  1. I realised I was aro ace after I was unknowingly set up and went on a date with a girl. When she first asked I thought she just wanted to hang out with me outside school. I am pretty blind to romantic cues but while the day of our get together came closer I started to realise this wasn’t what I had signed up for. The girl appeared friendlier to me than before and wore more makeup. She’d join me every lunch time in the library which as a hardcore introvert made me a little uncomfortable. She was attractive, smart and read all the books I liked so when I only felt dread about the upcoming day it was confusing. All throughout the get together I talked about how I never wanted to get married, didn’t understand romance, I think I even backed away a little whenever she came near. I did everything short of saying I was aromantic because I didn’t understand what I was feeling or how to express it. It was probably the worst date she’d ever had to deal with. Now she and the girl who set us up are my best friends at the school I go to and are dating each other. I came out to them and they accepted me. I care deeply for my friends because of this as the girl never pressed me even though I was probably sending out such mixed signals at the time as I struggle to understand what actions are considered romantic. I suppose I saying that anyone who has crushed on an aromantic person it may feel confusing for both you and the person. We’re not all socially inexperienced like me of course but if we say we don’t want to date because we’re aromantic we mean it. Again not all aromantic people but I tend to be quite direct once I understand a situation. If I ever liked someone I would tell them and when I don’t I tell them that too. Just a story of what goes on inside my aro ace head.
  2. As a cartoon mascot I think we should embrace Merida from brave. She does archery, never wants to get married and her weapon against her mother is a cake. Pretty much perfect.
  3. Biggest perk for me about being aro ace is that I don’t care what I look like. There is no one I’m trying to impress. I wear what I want to wear and have never felt like I need to change myself for someone else. Of course I occasionally struggle with my body but once I realised I was aro ace it was so much easier.
  4. My sister was notorious in my family as the corrupting influence as she was gay with depression, anxiety and autism but never afraid to speak her mind. All my aunts told their kids to stay away from her because of course being gay and neurodivergent is contagious. Little were my aunts to know that it would be harder to find the straight cousin in our family than the gay one. We had a group where all the gay, trans, neurodivergent guys would hang out and when I came out to them we began this running joke. I said that I was so afraid to catch the gayness from my sister that I accidentally blocked out the straightness as well.
  5. It’s not only in a few of these posts but in real life that I have heard the term aroace privilege. First of all though I do not agree with people who try to set aro aces like me as ungrateful as we do not experience the same levels of discrimination that other members of the lgbt+ regularly receive, I would like to say that what gay, lesbian, transgender, nonbinary + people have experienced is undeniably awful. Yes I have never been beaten up or kicked out of home for being aro ace. I have been asked if I’m a psychopath, I have been told that my sexuality is not real but a result of personal insecurity and that I just haven’t met the right person about a million times but sure this pales in comparison to being sent to conversion therapy but someone’s own parents. What I believe however is that we shouldn’t gatekeep trauma or negative experiences. We should send the same love to everyone even those that that appear more privileged because we are all human. I often joke with my friends that if I was a guy I would be the embodiment of privilege as white,cis, fairly middle class and aro ace meaning I don’t have to deal with heartbreak or unreciprocated love. Thing is that is not entirely true either. I have never seen myself represented in media without actively trying to search for anything aro ace. I have never met another person with my sexuality and any songs on the radio, films or books remain a constant reminder of what I am missing out on even though I do not want it. Members of the lgbt+ community should stand together not bring others down because they have experienced worse. If we focused all our efforts from infighting to actually making change in the real world we could see positive representation for everyone, yes even straight white cis people. I don’t want anyone to think they don’t deserve to call themselves lgbt+ or are allowed to talk about their negative experiences because others have faced worse. It’s like telling someone with depression that there are people starving in Africa. That doesn’t make you any less VALID. Sorry for the rant. Love all you guys.
  6. Hi fellow humans, Thought I would introduce myself here. I am asexual aromantic on the far end of the spectrum. I am not sex repulsed but I do not have the faintest clue why people would want it. Pretty much my stance on sky diving. Just not my thing. Still currently struggling to accept my sexuality right now. I feel like I want to be the most important person in someone’s life without being in a relationship which is why I am going to have a lot of dogs when I’m older. Anyway just saying hi. Can’t wait to talk to people like me. My favourite cake type is hummingbird cake, my pronouns are she, her and no matter what anyone says Merida from brave is aroace. That pretty much sums me up.
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