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MulticulturalFarmer

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Everything posted by MulticulturalFarmer

  1. I've used reddit for that type of stuff, maybe it would work for you? OkCupid and other traditional ways of dating hasn't really worked for me to be honest. It's easier to meet people on an online forum that has (established) communities with people like you.
  2. I have mentioned this before, but sometimes I feel as if the whole institution of "romance", "romantic relationships" and other such concepts are patriarchal tools used to lure women (or broadly speaking, AFAB people) into homemaking, taking care of men above their own needs, and having children within a nuclear family while also having to take care of a man, not to mention having to do all of that in a non-threatening way (aka can't be too dominant, loud, or other such things) while also having to maintain a full time job. Of course not all men are like this, but patriarchal institutions like dating, romance, and so on seem to lead to this from my observations though.
  3. Hey, I guess I don't follow. What do you mean by voices? Perhaps when you mean "looking at your crush" you mean you like the way the look and the way they think, perhaps?
  4. I come from an introverted culture within my country but most people who live in urban areas are quite fake and artificially very loud and extroverted, so there's a conflict between people from my region and the mainstream society, that's probably why I have these issues. I have a few friends from my area that I talk to occasionally, but not often.
  5. I'd be open to it, but my main concerns are being in a country with shitty maternity leave policies and/or not having enough cash to be able to take time off from work and recuperate and manage the complexities of pregnancy. If I ever can put the money away for that stuff (and to cushion against shitty maternity leave policies), sure. If not, adoption or fostering kids will be the way to go for me since there are many unwanted kids around the world, and the world population is quite large as it is already. But of course my main issue is the economic aspect of stuff.
  6. Yeah, I can totally relate to this! For me, before I knew the term 'aro' I thought of relationships as a way to get emotional connection via intellectual activities and pursuits, and let's just say that that worldview is not terribly common, sadly. Some people seem to think of it as being overly stoic and not discussing emotions, which can make for a bad friendship or (romantic) relationship, while others don't think that that's a thing a relationship should be based on. I do agree with what you said about relationships potentially having 'perks' and whatnot, but for me, just getting past the whole superficial views of lust and beauty means that I've rarely gotten to try out aromantic people's 'dating' (aka QPRs), and it doesn't help that a lot of my friends do prioritize their boyfriend/girlfriend over me, so I guess I"ll just have an android (robot, not the phone or tablet!) and a dog to keep me company in the near future.
  7. Yeah, it sucks that you might have to lie to get 'couple's discounts' and all that stuff. Are there any places in your city where there aren't any discounts for couples and everyone who goes in to eat just pays full price? I wouldn't wanna support the business model you just wrote about..
  8. @GhostyPeppers Hey there. I use some subreddits related to aromanticism and make friends that way. That's where I go when I want more friends to chat with. I'd quote you directly but I forgot to do that when I originally wrote this post
  9. I guess this might sound a bit weird, but I usually just chat with people on dating websites, and ask them about random stuff. Usually my matches are on other continents anyway, so it's just a time for me to be social and meet people. I've never had too much luck with IRL friends, as they are usually chilling with their partners and/or chilling with their friends that they have more in common with. The only cool thing that ever happened on valentine's day for me as an adult was going to an LGBTQ+ bar and club with one of my friends on valentine's day and then took a long walk afterwards in the most dangerous parts of the nearest major city in my region and talked about politics all night. We got some food at a random fast food place that was open at 2 AM but there were some sketchy guys that wanted to harass us and since we weren't in a car we couldn't go through the drive-through line.
  10. The Final Days of Sophie Scholl. This movie is a very heavy film, as it deals with resisting Nazis, and the ending is quite depressing, but this movie does have platonic love for family and friends but not romantic love. Home on the Range. This is an animated film that involves cows that are trying to save the farmland that they live on and attempt to do so by capturing a cowboy with excellent yodeling skills (who attempts to hypnotize the cows with his yodeling) because the reward for this outlaw cowboy is the same amount of money that they need to keep the farm from being sold or bidded.
  11. Hey there Aro folks! Are there any people here who play either Animal Crossing for Gamecube or Animal Crossing for 3DS? I haven't gotten the newest edition yet. I'm a fan of just messing around in the Gamecube version, enjoying all my free NES games that I dug up from the ground.. in the 3DS one I just like getting analyzed by the mohawk shrink after I give him apples to eat. I wish going to the shrink/therapist (he doubles as a therapist in this game) were this easy in real life, IRL it seems to require things like insurance.. and money. Anyway, if you'd like to exchange pics for the Gamecube version, or friend codes for the 3DS one.. let me know. If you just wanna chat about weird things you've done in Animal Crossing, that's cool too.
  12. Hey, I'm new also! Welcome to the forum. What's an EGL? I'm also struggling with not living a normal alloromantic life as well, didn't come to terms with that until recently.
  13. Wait is this related to the .hack series where people go online into a virtual world and defeat enemies, make friends, and participate in weird competitions? Also, there were some characters named Shugo and Rena.
  14. I wonder if there will be any aro comics in stuff like Marvel or DC comics.. though I do like fan art. Also, idk if anyone here reads Scandinavia and the World, but I suspect some of the country characters are aro too... if any of ya'll know about that webcomic.
  15. Hm, I am mostly pissed off by family and romance romcoms and movies that based both in North America and in other parts of the world, mainly because I see the femme or woman who is in a heterosexual, allosexual relationship in the TV series or movie playing some kind of damsel in distress, worrying about whether she/they are attractive enough, making sure the woman/femme is "conventionally attractive". In addition, there's the usual stuff of satisfying the male gaze, catering to the man's needs, not to mention that the people in the relationship never seem to have any kind of intellectual discourse, especially if it involves a heterosexual relationship. So yeah, to me all of this 'romance' stuff in romcoms shows seems illogical to me. Why can't two heterosexual scientists get married and talk about climate change research and have their research advance their relationship somehow? A bit like with Marie Curie and her husband, at least from what I know. Idk why people would rely on superficial physical characteristics about someone, as looks disappear, people get sick, and people have interests other than catering to someone else.. IRL I find most romantic relationships and people 'crushing' on me to be nasty, because it usually has been superficial in my experience (i.e. mainly observation through alloromantic friends and them notifying me that someone has a crush on me or when they are in relationships). Usually it's all about looks, controlling another person, manipulation, and anything but love, which I can't even seem to really define other than an intense obsession and codependence on another person to feel good about yourself. I could have just observed a lot of toxic people, but from what I hear from people, it seems pretty common.
  16. Where is the link? Is it in the Google Doc? And how often will these meetings happen?
  17. Not having to deal with toxic people who may be covert about their abusive tendencies or behavior and always be on your toes, thus never getting to enjoy the interaction. Also, not doing 'weird stuff' like falling in love, and them somehow rationalizing toxic and/or abusive behaviors as love. I think I'm so pessimistic, jaded, and misanthropic about humanity sometimes that idk if I could ever date in alloromantic manner due to the weird stuff that I've seen on dating sites and apps from friends. However, the one good thing about dating apps (specifically OkCupid)was that I met some aro people on those sites.
  18. For me, I suppose it's the notion that autistic people lack self awareness? I guess some people conflate my inability to understand social cues (like how certain types of emotional closeness, mainly in the form of disclosing personal details between a male presenting person and a female can be perceived as romantic intent, not to mention that due to my cultural background and despite being read as "female" by society, many people are threatened by me for no good reason) to mean that I couldn't possibly know if I'm feeling romantic attraction to someone or not, because autistic people are only good for being robots that are good at math and not an interpersonal skills. I also have a hard time understanding why someone would be friendly to me, and close to me, and then just disappear from my life. Sure, I could have done something wrong socially or said something that made someone uncomfortable, but I wish they would have at least told me what I did if we were so "tight" and "comfortable with each other". I don't normally get close to people easily, but if someone tells me all their life stories and struggles on the first two days of meeting, I'm going to assume that they wanna be close to me. Due to some of my autistic traits, I didn't understand if someone told me a white lie about not wanting to be close to me (either in a QPR or a friendship way) by saying they were "busy", "didn't have enough time", and so on and so forth.
  19. OMG, me too. I'm like this if I meet someone who is really talented at physics, engineering, or biology and seems to be very caring.. I'm like teach me about your secrets! It's not that weird since I can at least understand the mathematics of stuff in science to a pretty high level.. but I do get pretty intense about wanting to learn from people who are intellectually talented at science.. just like you do with wanting to learn about that person's interests and all that. In my head I even fantasize about cuddling them which is weird considering that I tend to want to do this with people I find intellectually and/or aesthetically attractive, which I don't do unless they ask me on a date (this has happened before), and even then, due to me being autistic, I'm hesitant to do so unless I ask them directly since I'm quite bad at reading body language.. not to mention that i have to talk about being aromantic.. so yeah, it's a mess haha :) Are you also autistic?
  20. Virtual hugs to you! I can relate to this so much, especially as an autistic person who is also aro. I have the issues of living in a romance saturated world, but also having issues navigating social situations as well. I really hope you figure things out :) What I've done to deal with this is join a penpal website, join every forum that I can think of that's related to my interests, think about getting a dog, and going to groups on Meetup.com (many meetings are virtual) though i'm worried that doing all of this is a distraction from loneliness, but at least it's a coping mechanism, I suppose.
  21. Ya, the reaction would be, so.. you're one of them serial monogamists.. huh? Though granted society does teach a lot of people when they are in throes of romantic feelings to just ignore such statements and dive into the relationship headfirst, perhaps (but not always) with the hope that you might be able to change the person if you love them enough (and no, it's not specific to one societally defined binary gender).
  22. Yeah, I'm going to look like weird with all of those rings on my finger. Are there any pics out there about whether it looks fashionable to have both rings?
  23. Hey everyone, I'm new to the Arocalypse forums! I heard about this place from some people on AVEN. I really wish we had a chat feature on here, but other than that I'm looking to make new friends and have a ton of nice discussions on here.
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