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Corrupt a Wish

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Granted - African brown widow spiders are now native to your house and love nothing more than nesting EVERYWHERE.

 

I wish I lived closer to some of my friends.

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They all live in your room, and sleep in your bed. ALL of them.

 

I wish I could fly.

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3 hours ago, James said:

They all live in your room, and sleep in your bed. ALL of them.

 

I'd totally be down for this.

 

3 hours ago, James said:

I wish I could fly.

 

One day you throw yourself at the floor and miss and find yourself floating in mid air. Unfortunately you can never land nor lower your altitude.

 

I wish I could travel more. 

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You can travel freely, but your only accessible mode of travel is a squeaky unicycle. It's nuclear-powered, so you can travel all you want. However the squeaky wheel will drive you mad. 

 

I wish the movies accurately portrayed historical sword fighting (without actually injuring the actors).

 

 

 

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On 6/25/2017 at 5:27 PM, James said:

...

 

 

I wish @shotinthehand had left me a wish to corrupt as well. 

 

Preferably one with sea slugs. I like sea slugs.

Agh! I'm sorry! I was so pleased with how creepy my corruption of a wish turned out I just hit post!

I wish I had the power to manifest and control sea slugs wherever and whenever I wanted to.

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11 hours ago, James said:

You can travel freely, but your only accessible mode of travel is a squeaky unicycle. It's nuclear-powered, so you can travel all you want. However the squeaky wheel will drive you mad. 

 

I wish the movies accurately portrayed historical sword fighting (without actually injuring the actors).

 

 

 

Granted, they now portray it realistically but all the actors have fierce rivalries and anger management issues, causing them to break into sword fights every five minutes, so the plots never go anywhere.

 

I wish my dad were more erudite.

 

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Granted, however your dad will only have a knowledge (albeit extremely on point) about the Psychrolutes marcidus, also known as the Blobfish

 

I wish I could dance

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On 6/25/2017 at 11:47 PM, Momo said:

One day shotinthehand is swimming in the ocean when a giant sea slug eats him.

 

I wish it was easier to come up with wishes than corruptions.

I go by she/her." :)

 

it is easier to come up with wishes than corruptions, but you can't come up with corruptions any more and can't play the game any more

5 hours ago, sarcastic kitten said:

Granted, however your dad will only have a knowledge (albeit extremely on point) about the Psychrolutes marcidus, also known as the Blobfish

 

I wish I could dance

You can dance, but you can't really control when you stop dancing. Sometimes you spontaneously start dancing even when you don't want to, like at funerals or in the middle of speeches.

 

I wish I could fall asleep when ever I wanted to.

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3 minutes ago, shotinthehand said:

I go by she/her." :)

 

Oops. My bad. All fixed.

 

3 minutes ago, shotinthehand said:

it is easier to come up with wishes than corruptions, but you can't come up with corruptions any more and can't play the game any more

 

This is basically the case anyway, just the other way around. :(

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1 hour ago, shotinthehand said:

I wish I could fall asleep when ever I wanted to.

 

You can fall asleep whenever you like at the cost of being able to wake up when you like. No matter what you try, your body refuses to wake due to external forces. One day you sleep through your own funeral and wake in a box six feet under.

 

I wish I didn't feel sick every morning.

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12 hours ago, Momo said:

 

You can fall asleep whenever you like at the cost of being able to wake up when you like. No matter what you try, your body refuses to wake due to external forces. One day you sleep through your own funeral and wake in a box six feet under.

 

I wish I didn't feel sick every morning.

You don't feel sick every morning, but you are sick. You wake up, walk to the bathroom, calmly vomit and go on with your morning routine. Your teeth start to deteriorate from stomach acid exposure.

 

I wish I were better at chemistry.

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You become really good at chemistry, so much that D.C. Makes you a comic book hero: Madam Molybdenum. However, the movie is directed by Joel Schumacher, the same guy who did the 1997 George Clooney Batman movie. 

 

I wish I were immune to sunburn.

 

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you would become a real life vampire, unable to go into the sun.

 

I wish I had 100000000 dollars

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You have $100,000,000, but your banker invests it all in wedding dresses, heart-shaped throw pillows, and disgracefully gooey Valentine's Day cards. You get a pretty good return on the investment, but at what cost?

 

I wish I had a private nuclear submarine with an onboard water purification system and an airlock (with diving suits) so I could gather my own food from the seafloor. Also at least 1000 square feet of living space, a kitchen, and reinforced windows. Radiation and fire suppression systems too, please. Crush depth of 1 mile, max speed 30 knots would be great, thanks. Cable cutters on the propeller, conning tower, and dive planes would also be a plus. 

 

Edit: I am aware that nuclear power supplies do run down, so some extra lead-lined uranium storage rooms would be a helpful addition xD

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4 hours ago, James said:

I wish I had a private nuclear submarine with an onboard water purification system and an airlock (with diving suits) so I could gather my own food from the seafloor. Also at least 1000 square feet of living space, a kitchen, and reinforced windows. Radiation and fire suppression systems too, please. Crush depth of 1 mile, max speed 30 knots would be great, thanks. Cable cutters on the propeller, conning tower, and dive planes would also be a plus. 

 

Edit: I am aware that nuclear power supplies do run down, so some extra lead-lined uranium storage rooms would be a helpful addition

 you can have your wish, but while in your submarine the world would become so polluted that the waters would become poisoned. so you would run out of food and die.

 

I wish I had 10 more wishes

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The wish-granting genie gives you ten wishes, but all of those wishes each have to be for ten more wishes. Each of the ten new wishes per previous wish must also be for ten wishes. This pattern repeats following the function x=10^n where x is the number of wishes you have after n iterations of wish-granting. For example, after the first iteration of wishing, you have 10^1=10 wishes. Before, at n=0, you started with 10^0=1 wish. At n=45, you have 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 wishes. The genie grants one iteration of wishes every ten seconds for the rest of time, but each wish must always be for ten more wishes. Your brain crashes as you try to comprehend how many wishes you have. 

 

Last time I wished for an antique English backsword,

On 1/29/2017 at 10:44 PM, TheAP said:

Granted. You have it, sticking out of your butt.

 

So this time, I wish for an antique English backsword, with the condition that it doesn't arrive inserted into me, or anyone else. Or at least have the decency to make it come with a scabbard...

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3 hours ago, Blackscarlet666 said:

@James You can have your sword, but it had to become one of your limbs

 Depending on which limb, I might take you up on that offer. If it's not my right arm (my sword arm) I can just amputate it and use a prosthetic!

 

 

I wish I could fulfill my childhood birdwatching dream of seeing a wild elf owl (Micrathene whitneyi).

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On 7/20/2017 at 7:51 PM, James said:

I wish I could fulfill my childhood birdwatching dream of seeing a wild elf owl (Micrathene whitneyi).

Granted. Here ya go: 

 



Image result for wild elf owl

 

 

 

I wish for more patience. 

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@cute kitty Meow! Mewo! Okay, wish granted. But you spend years perfecting it, and eventually you get so patient you learn to astral project and you spend so much time in this state you forget to eat and eventually die.

 

@James I wish for ten more wishes, wish the condition that I am not allowed to wish for more wishes after this

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You get ten more wishes, but all of them involve sausage links becoming stuck to your nose, similar to the children's story The Ridiculous Wishes.

 

I wish I could find a parking space at Trader Joe's. 

If you aren't aware, Trader Joe's is a popular American grocery store chain known for its disgracefully inadequate parking lots.

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wish granted - but the store is so crowded there's literally a traffic jam and no one can move for hours. 

 

i wish to be washing my dishes right now instead of avoiding it. 

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You are possessed by the ghost of a professional dish washer who died in the 1870's. Her name is Muriel Hamilton and she's from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, USA. From now on, you won't procrastinate washing dishes. However, you will have nightmares about the American Civil War. If you ever paint a house, she will be adamant that arsenic green is the way to go. Perhaps worst of all, Muriel will make you wear an antique corset every day. It's reinforced with the baleen from a Northern right whale, and it may eventually cause irreparable damage to your internal organs.

 

I wish I could fly.

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Granted, you now have wings with a 6 foot span instead of arms and you get followed everywhere by curious ornithologists when you're on the ground. People throw birdseed at you as a joke and make jokes about pooping on things. Their nicknames for you are oh so imaginative (i.e. predictable and annoying).

 

I wish I had a partner to practice martial arts with at home.

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wish granted, but they are far more experienced than you and very competitive, they become so infatuated with beating you that they will kill you in your sleep

 

I wish I had the ability to turn into any animal at my command and decide which animal I turn into. I can also decide when to turn back into a human 

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