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Corrupt a Wish

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You can, but your e-reader has very little storage left so it crashes every time you open a book up

 

I wish my homework was finished

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Granted. You own every single book on your broken e-reader.

 

I wish that person on Tumblr would message me back.

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I will grant both your wishes since AP didn't see the new page

 

Cakespade: Granted. Your homework is finished and most of it is wrong. Enjoy the F

 

AP: (I don't want to mess this one up : <) Granted but when they do it will be in riddles

 

I wish that I could instantly like every post on this entire site.

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Granted, but you like a troll's post and get a warning for it.

 

I wish I never got ninja'd.

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You always ninja the same person everytime they post and now they hate you.

 

I wish the show "Married at first sight" never existed.

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Granted. It's real life.

 

I wish I could eat without getting my hands sticky or wet.

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Granted. You eat your cat, who is now a part of you.

 

I wish I had an original antique mortuary-hilted backsword from medieval England.

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Granted. You have it, sticking out of your butt.

 

I wish I could go back to sleep.

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You go to sleep and never wake up.

 

I wish I didn't have to go to soccer training tomorrow.

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You don't. The soccer training comes to you.

 

I wish that bugs would stop drowning themselves in my coffee.

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Every time a bug lands in your coffee all the coffee disappears. 

 

I wish I could actually feel rested when I wake up. 

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Granted, but you always wake up late.

 

I wish I had a library with all the books I want to read.

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Granted, you're now living in the Beast's castle and his talking furniture servants are making things awkward for you.

 

I wish I could sell my art pieces for good money.

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They waste away at the back of a private collection.

 

I wish voting was compulsory in the UK.

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4 hours ago, Louis Hypo said:

 

 

I wish voting was compulsory in the UK.

The ones who wouldn't have gone voting otherwise would unawarely contribute to the worst candidate being chosen every time.

 

I wish stopped ageing physically - as in look exacly like I do now until the day I die. 

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The goals are met early because the Earth's supply of fossil fuels runs out overnight. The global economic and political system collapses as food distribution, lighting, and internet services all lose their main power supply. Only areas reliant on sustainable energy (Iceland, Tennessee Valley, etc.) are able to retain a semblance of their former culture. Everyone is forced to live as subsistence farmers until they eventually gather the resources to build sustainable power stations again. The equality goals are way easier to meet when everyone's equally uneducated, disenfranchised, and at risk!

 

I wish mosquitoes wouldn't bite me.

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They eat you whole instead.

 

I wish I had incorruptible wishes.

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Granted! You will never have any wishes.. only sadness and mediocrity

 

I wish I could become a dinosaur (to eat all the haters)

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Granted: "The smallest dinosaurs were just slightly larger than a chicken; Compsognathus ("pretty jaw") was 1 m (3 ft) long and probably weighed about 2.5 kg (about 6.5 lb)."

 

I wish I could teleport.

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Granted, but you can't control where you end up and it is not just limited to Earth, so you teleport to some empty space in the middle of nowhere 1,000,000 light years from the nearest galaxy... R.I.P.

 

I wish every book in the world was automatically downloaded on my kindle for free.

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Granted, but you have 31 bit download. And they all come as one file. You'll get your books in a few thousand years. 

 

I wish I could breath regardless of the oxygen content or state of whatever I am breathing. 

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You can already do that. You'll just die if you do.

 

I wish sea gulls would stop attacking the sea cucumbers at the aquarium where I work.

 

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Granted. They attack you instead. And any fending off produces more of them. 

 

I wish I could control the ambient temperature of my environment, be it air water or vacuum. 

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