Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


About Momo

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Orientation
    Aromantic asexual
  • Gender
  • Pronouns
  • Location
    Melbourne, Australia
  • Occupation
    Info Tech

Contact Methods

Recent Profile Visitors

1714 profile views
  1. As there is no way to back out of the automatic updating of text emoji like :) into emoji, this is now disabled. If you want a real emoji, there is a button in the editor window that will give you a full search experience to find the one you want or you can still use the shortcodes like : smiley : which show an inline search while you are typing.
  2. There's been a few attempts that I'm aware of. "Friendship" apps invariably end up being used as dating services by people the app wasn't intended for so they need massive amounts of moderation which in turn takes effort and ultimately money. It also has a tendency to err towards gatekeepery behaviour trying to keep people who aren't there for the right reasons out so as to reduce the moderation burden. I'm not aware of any that have been successful and popular. Ultimately, while it's a good idea, the practicalities end up getting in the way and I haven't seen anyone tackle the problems in a way that I'm comfortable with so I haven't ended up using any of them.
  3. So, back when the elections were going on I promised to provide a way for people who were pledging money to help the forum to provide it. Today is the day that happens! First however, I have an apology to make. Since the migration, there has been a half dozen or so downtimes. I have monitoring software on the server and I want to assure everyone that the only downtimes I'm aware of are directly because I messed up server settings and was on hand to fix things as quickly as possible. I'm sorry if this has caused anyone any problems, but things will get better as we move forward and server configuration becomes more stable. Second, I want to make clear that the forums are not in danger of closing down for the foreseeable future. Especially in the current climate of great uncertainty, please only donate what you can afford to. Now, on to the business end of this topic. I want to be as transparent as possible with everyone before taking their money but what this looks like exactly will probably change a little depending on exactly how generous everyone is during this initial round of donations. To that end however, I want to share what the bills look like as of today. All dollar values are in USD unless specified otherwise. Once off migration costs: Invision License ($300 - Forum + Pages) Ongoing costs: Invision License ($40 / 6 months) Webserver Costs ($70~80 / month) Domain ($12 / year) Email ($10 / year) That's about $80~85 a month, total. The team has already raised $150 from team members but now we're opening up to everyone who wants to contribute and a big thank you in advance to those who do. Thank you also to the people who can't - thank you for making these forums a place where people want to come to talk and to share. To donate, use the button in the menu at the top of the page. If you have any questions, then please either ask below, send me a DM or my email details are on the staff page.
  4. Welcome! And no, the site isn’t going anywhere. It found a new home.
  5. For posterity, the forums were migrated to a new server and live on! Reports of Arocalypses death have been greatly exaggerated.
  6. I don't use any of these for romance, but I do use sex-neutral for my sexuality. I don't really have any feelings about romance in others. Even for as it relates to me, it's kind of strange. I don't feel bad about the romance itself, but I also know it doesn't work out so it's just kinda there.
  7. This is a pretty well known problem in a lot of spheres. The more standards/words/whatever exist, the more they tend to conflict and fight - in general. This is what ends up happening when you create a new standard and insist on it being the New Best Thing. Sadly, that is almost never the actual truth in any setting, least of all when you're talking about people's feelings and identity. --- So, the reason I brought up the real meaning of spectrum is because I feel it could help to solidify some of these terms. Instead of trying to define orientations in relation to each other, come up with some attributes that help split things. I don't want to try to start to come up with those attributes here and now, but with the right level of detail you start to get a picture of each individual person - an individual a/romantic spectrum. Then, comparing those spectra you will start to see patterns - the patterns that define the orientations and labels we use.
  8. Well, since this conversation seems to be ongoing... it's worth mentioning that most people seem to be misusing spectrum when what they mean (at least in their own head) is a gradient. Most people seem to be using spectrum to mean that there are two opposing things with some mixture in the middle, say aromantic <=> romantic with some various middle ground like greyro, etc. That's not what a spectrum actually is. A spectrum is a set of values from a range of possible values. I've seen this explained really well in autistic spaces and it may be worth taking some inspiration from. See for example this article: https://neuroclastic.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/ In this sense, an aro spectrum (or romantic spectrum, depending on how you want to phrase it), an ace spectrum (or sexuality spectrum, again depending on phrasing), etc all make sense. Including either the wider or narrower definition of an a-spectrum.
  9. Being agender is at least as similar to being aro as being ace is. For me, at least, I experience my agenderness almost exactly the same as I experience my aroness - a confusion about the concept in general. As opposed to my aceness, which I understand fully but just am not into. Honestly? I don't feel like this is up to us (agender people). If the term was created as a grouping of ace and aro experiences then we shouldn't come in and barge into that. If it was created as a way of grouping people who feel like some part of their identity is defined by a "no thanks" then we're already included. Personally, from my experience, the former is the truth not the latter.
  10. Yeeees, collect all the A's... together we shall rule the world! *ahem* Err, welcome to the forum from another quad-A.
  11. I am also curious about this. I hadn't heard of this as a thing before this thread.
  12. Echoing this. Paraphrasing is, at best, just adding an extra layer of bias on everything. At worst, it can completely rewrite and change the meaning of what was said.
  13. Hi there! Finding out later in life can definitely be hard. Personally, I'm 32 and only figured it out at around 29 - effectively ending a 7 year relationship on the spot. I'd definitely encourage you to join up to the forum fully and have a bit of a poke around. There's some good people here.
  14. Momo

    Banned Members

    WrenIsMyRealName has been banned for breaching section 2.f of the ToS:
  • Create New...