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Corrupt a Wish


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Granted, but climates are thrown off all over the world making your country the only habitable place. Everyone else in the world tries to move there, making your country disastrously overcrowded.

 

I wish for a plate of pancakes.

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Democracy does not get in the way. Individual thought does not get in our way. Nothing gets in our way. We are one mind. We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Your technology will be ours and add to o

The @Momo population, no longer limited by disease, explodes (by mitosis, I guess). Australia is overrun by Momos. With their disease resistance giving them a marked evolutionary advantage, Momos soon

Your day is 48 hours, but this is because the first 24 hours of it repeat.  Congratulations you ruined the spacetime continuum   I wish donuts were healthy 

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Granted, but your cooking will only ever come out right if you make twice as much as you need, and any leftovers spoil before you can eat them. Therefore, half of it always goes to waste.

 

I wish I had the money I need to have my name and gender marker changed on my legal documents.

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You are always wrapped in a blanket... but it's always a thin & scratchy one when you're freezing cold and a fluffy & bulky one when you're overheating.

 

I wish I could whistle.

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You are always happy - painfully so. The horror that you call a smile has long since frozen in place, the muscles atrophied and painful. But the pain only serves make you happier. You live out your days in a blur, one day more blissful than the last but ultimately meaningless.

I wish people would respect boundaries.

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No one ever crosses property boundaries. For two weeks that is a good thing as it stops the coronavirus from spreading, but even after the virus is fully contained, everyone continues to act like they are on lockdown and the world never goes back to normal.

I wish the coronavirus didn't exist.

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No one is afraid of anything involving the letter A anymore. Therefore, when a giant letter A falls off a sign right above you, you're not afraid and don't run so it lands on you and injures you.

I wish for this wish not to come true.

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Your wish for the wish to not come true doesn't come true. But also. It does come true. And it splits reality into two parallel realities that also split into two realities and those two realities split into two realities and it goes on forever! And in all of these realities your favorite band doesn't exist. 

I wish for massive cup of frozen yogurt with all kinds of delicious toppings and but somehow it all has zero calories. 

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You are, but as you are partially amnesic, you don't remember who your partner is.

I wish dogs and cats learn proper consent before licking you on the face or cuddling when you don't want to.

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You get more motivation, as the result of someone threatening to shoot you if you don't do it. Now you have to fear for your life.

I wish Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was president.

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