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Everything posted by Momo

  1. You know why it was removed, because you got a warning about it which you acknowledged. If you're willing to actually engage and listen rather than belittle people, this thread will be kept open. You however are on a timeout, which unfortunately didn't get applied automatically and this thread showed up, so take this time to listen.
  2. To celebrate the end of ASAW 2021, AUREA is running a fundraiser livestream on February 27th, at 3PM EST! More info on the event and guest lineup can be found at https://www.aromanticism.org/asaw-2021 from February 21st. The event itself will be hosted on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/EJ-dbqlIK9U. I'm joining in on this event and it's looking to have some interesting people on board to talk. Some of the proceeds will be coming back to Arocalypse as well, so please do come and check it out!
  3. For legal reasons, we can't support user accounts for people under the age of 13. Unfortunately, there's not a lot we can do there - the only other option would require more administration and young people outing themselves to their parents. I do want to make clear that this is entirely a legal decision and not because we feel that people can't know that they are aro until that age or anything like that. If you're under 13, we encourage you to browse the site and if you wish to participate then you can make guest posts.
  4. If anyone wants to join the Discord, the link is already available on the forum post:
  5. Possibly all of the above. There's recently been some big software updates to the forum software, which may have improved SEO. We've definitely changed the guest posts system since 2018, but we've actually made it more restrictive not less. They now require moderator approval before going through.
  6. Just putting my mod hat on for just a moment to remind everyone that the official stance of the forum is that alloromantic and allosexual are legitimate terms. However, using these terms as pejoratives or otherwise discriminating against people who are part of those groups is against the rules of the forum:
  7. I am white. I am privileged because I am white, if I argued otherwise I think most people on this forum would have words. I am also autistic, trans, aro, and ace. I am discriminated against for all four. Just because you have some privilege does not mean that you also do not experience discrimination, oppression or stigmatisation and there is no dissonance in that statement. And related to your question, yes they do. But they do experience arophobia and acephobia respectively, things I have personally witnessed and the gay people have some measure of privilege for not experiencing that. Which does nothing to diminish the very real problems any of those three hypothetical people face. Like I said originally, this whole concept isn't meant to be used as a measuring stick. It's a way to acknowledge issues and needs that various groups face and how they may inter-relate and connect to each other. Do you think it's ok for transphobes, gay or otherwise, who dislike being called cisgender to shout down that word? It's literally the same situation. No one is asking people to self-id as alloromantic or allosexual, but the words are still useful for us to talk about people who aren't us and taking away vocabulary is a form of harassment and has been a common tactic for silencing people, as has already been mentioned.
  8. There is nothing wrong with the terms allosexual nor alloromantic for all the same reasons that there is nothing wrong with cisgender, perisex, allistic, etc, etc. if you have an issue with the way people use these words then by all means criticise them. But different terminology doesn’t fix those problems. This list of issues is so contradictory as to be laughable. You say that aros are stigmatised then say that allos don’t have any privileges by virtue of being allo. You can’t have it both ways. Having privilege doesn’t mean you aren’t oppressed or stigmatised. Those are not mutually exclusive. But this isn’t a race to the bottom to find out who is worst off. It’s about acknowledging that different groups of people have different issues and needs.
  9. 1. Liability While the administrators and moderators of this forum (collectively the Admod Team) will attempt to remove or edit any generally objectionable material as quickly as possible, it is impossible to review every message. Therefore you acknowledge that all posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author and not the administrators, moderators or webmaster (except for posts by these people) and hence will not be held liable. You agree that the webmaster, administrator and moderators of this forum have the right to remove, edit, move or close any topic at any time should they see fit. The IP address of every post is recorded to aid in enforcing these conditions. As a user you agree to any information you have entered above being stored in a database. While this information will not be disclosed to any third party without your consent the webmaster, administrator and moderators cannot be held responsible for any hacking attempt that may lead to the data being compromised. 2. Behavior These rules apply in all parts of Arocalypse. Controversy is fine, getting frustrated and even angry is fine. At their discretion moderators will communicate with users not because those users are in trouble but because they want to keep a situation from getting out of hand. The following are general rules to be followed: a. Generic rule about content You agree not to post anything abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful or threatening; additionally, you agree not to post any material that may violate any applicable laws. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned (and your service provider being informed). Posts which might be considered to encourage or indicate an intention to commit activities which might violate applicable laws will be removed immediately. b. Personal insults Personally insulting other users in any way is unacceptable. This includes, but is not limited to, using a person's race, sex, gender identity or expression, creed, disability, nationality, or sexual orientation as a way to insult any member. c. Offensive and bigoted content Arocalypse does not tolerate racist, queerphobic, or sexist bigotry, as these create an environment that is hostile to the reasonable exchange of views. You may not post hateful, abusive or disparaging content about people's race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, age, or mental or physical disability. This includes, but is not limited to, anything bigoted against 'asexuals', 'allosexuals', 'aromantics', ‘alloromantics’, ‘ace-spec’ or ‘aro-spec’ as identifiable categories. Posting offensive content, or bigoted propaganda, may result in an immediate and permanent ban from the forum. Offences judged less serious by the Admod Team will be dealt with under the Warning system outlined below. d. Sexually explicit material Because many users find sexually explicit material offensive we request that posts which contain sexually explicit material contain a warning in the subject line. Please refrain from using sexually explicit subject lines. e. Personal Information Posting personal information about another user without their express permission is a serious offence. Such posts are subject to deletion at the request of the exposed party. This extends to posting private conversations. f. Judgements of other users Making judgments about other users, especially about the validity of their sexual or romantic orientation or their choice of labels, is strongly discouraged. We are here to figure ourselves out, not to put each other in boxes. g. Suicide content The admods value your right to privacy but content with references to contemplating suicide will be taken seriously, and we reserve the right to contact your ISP or any other authorities in your area if we find it necessary. Topics which contain any references to contemplating suicide may be removed immediately. h. Donation requests Members must not send unsolicited donation requests using the personal messaging system. Solicitation for direct donations or other fundraising is not allowed on Arocalypse, with an exception for Vis/Ed projects that have been reviewed and granted permission for posting by the Admods. This permission should not be taken as endorsement; members should still exercise necessary precautions, and avoid contributing to requests if they feel it is not safe or legitimate. Any requests that have not been granted permission for posting may be taken down in order to protect Arocalypse members. i. Trolling behaviour As a general rule, trolling, flaming, spamming or insulting of any kind is off-limits. Acting as a troll is grounds for an immediate ban. A troll is defined, not exclusively, as someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the intent of provoking other users into an emotional response. j. Members' security Stalking, bullying or harassing of any kind will not be tolerated. Should any account be used or created for this purpose, the account holder will be subject to official warning or outright banning from the site. k. Vigilante Modding Vigilante Modding is not allowed. Vigilante Modding is harassing, attacking, or otherwise antagonizing members you believe are acting inappropriately and/or you believe have violated the ToS. The proper procedure in such cases is to report what you know to the Admod team so proper action can be taken with all the information at hand. Please refrain from engaging in direct confrontation, or attempting to take forum justice into your own hands. If you must disagree, do so calmly and with dignity, no matter how outrageous the provocation. To report a post, simply click on "report post" above the offending post. If you suspect that a post or a user is bending the rules of the forum then PM a moderator or an admin. Do not feed trolls, and do not flame other users no matter how badly you may think they deserve it. A note with respect to the Admod Team: Admods, as individuals, are protected by this rule. This does not mean criticism of the team or its actions is disallowed, just that those criticisms should be directed to the team as a whole, and should not make reference to individuals. We both allow, and encourage, constructive criticism. If you feel the need to address the actions of a specific member of the team, this is not a matter for the open board. Either address that team member directly, or contact an administrator. Such communications should be dealt with using the site's PM system, or if the situation is severe enough to warrant it, the report system. l. Private Messages remain private PMs from one Arocalypse member to another should not be posted in the public fora. In certain pertinent cases, PM's might be discussed by Admods, especially when the PM itself is a question raised to the Admods outside of the public fora. But sharing PMs or their content on the public fora without permission from the originator and recipient is not permitted. Please realize that it is very difficult to nail down exactly what types of words, actions, and behaviors are warnable. This is done on a case by case basis. The Admods are very careful when reviewing these issues and do not issue warnings haphazardly. However, by agreeing to the ToS, members acknowledge the right of the Moderators and Administrators to make these decisions. 3. Sock accounts and Proxy IP addresses As a member, you agree to register and maintain one account only. Multiple accounts are not allowed unless under circumstances requesting approval by the Admod Team for Vis-Ed. Sock accounts created outside of this process will be subject to merging or deactivation. Members discovered to have multiple accounts may be issued with official warnings or banned from the forum. Furthermore, the following shall also apply to sock accounts: should any member account be used to flame, bully, antagonize, insult, threaten, stalk or harass the members/staff of the site, the account holder will be subject to discipline potentially leading up to banning and informing the user's ISP and/or the proper authorities as the law permits. Blatant abuse of proxy, dynamic, or otherwise hidden IP addresses (collectively known as proxy IP addresses) will not be tolerated. Proxy IP addresses are used to hide the identity of the poster. Usually, this is done by spambots, trolls, and sock puppet accounts. Although usage of proxy IP addresses is highly discouraged, there may be legitimate reasons for doing so; such usage will be judged on a case-by-case basis. An account using a proxy IP address without a legitimate reason will not be eligible to run for an Arocalypse office. 4. Other Policies Researchers and Students requests: If you want or need to make a survey, research or a study recruiting Arocalypse members that is hosted outside the forum, please contact a member of the Admod team. Deletion of accounts: Except under extenuating circumstances, we will not be accepting requests for deletions. However, at the users request, we can suspend the account indefinitely. We can also strip the account of identifying information including emptying any fields in the profile section. Display Names: All display names must be at least three (3) non-white-space characters. Furthermore, to facilitate search functionality, we would ask that any display name contain at least two (2) consecutive non-white-space characters. Users may change their display names once per 30 days. Names found to be too short or otherwise inappropriate may be changed without warning though the Admod Team will attempt to contact the user in question before any changes are made where it is not considered urgent. New Forums: Ideas for new forums or changes to the board are discussed in the Admod forum to nail down ideas and a plan, and then introduced to the board for members to discuss and put to a vote. Suggestions or comments on the matter, as on any other topic, should be posted in Site Suggestions forum. 5. Complaints and reports from members If members have concerns regarding matters on Arocalypse, they are encouraged to inform either a Moderator or Administrator of their concern. If they encounter a post or a member they think breaks the rule of the forum, they should contact an Admod or use the Report function and not engage in direct confrontation. To report a post, click "report post" above the post. Any requests and complaints to Admods via PM are kept private in the Admods forum. If possible, identities are not revealed to other Admods, just the complaint itself. 6. Warn and Ban System and other official notices The Admod Team has every right to issue the following disciplinary measures as they see fit: "Play nice warning" -- Unofficial warnings that are not directed at anyone. They are posted in a thread that seems like it might escalate into flaming. "Nudges" -- These are unofficial warnings that are usually given for minor offences, or a person’s first offence, rather than warning right off the bat. This is done to give a member a chance to understand how they have violated rules. Official Warnings and Bans – Official warnings last for 6 months. The second active Warning includes a two week suspension from the site. A third active Warning will lead to a ban from all activities on the site indefinitely. Trolls and spammers receive an automatic ban. When a member is warned, a private message will be sent to the member with a detailed explanation of why the warning was given. The private message will include a quote and explanation of what was warnable in the member's post, a thread name or link, as well as any other information that the Administrator or Moderator wishes to include. When a member is banned, if it's not a troll or a spammer, a post will be made in Mod Forum with a short description of the reasons for the ban. Moderators follow a “four-eyes policy” when issuing warnings. All warnings are issued based on reports and the report may not be handled by the reporter. In the case of a report from a regular user, a Moderator may act on their own or may bring the issue up with the rest of the Moderator team. Appeals If you feel that you have been warned or nudged unfairly, you may bring your concern to the Moderator or Administrator for discussion. This will begin a review process, where the Admod Team will address the concern in question, ultimately resulting in a decision to keep the warning or nudge in effect or to repeal it. This decision is final and cannot be appealed further. Response posts or threads, made with the intent to instigate the actual publication of the review materials or argument about the review itself, will be deleted from the board. Consistently doing so may also lead to further disciplinary action. Note on private messages: It is difficult for warnings to be issued for offences that occur in private messages, because of the risk that these might have been forged. However, members are encouraged to inform an Administrator if they are being harassed in any way by another member via private message. There is a report button on every PM, and members are encouraged to use it. This will allow an administrator to request access to the private conversation where the offence took place. Probation Terms (for members with successful appeals to a ban from the site) If a previously banned member of Arocalypse makes an appeal and is allowed to return to membership there is a six month probationary period. During this time, the following are the terms of this probation: A reinstated member comes back with 2 active warnings, one lasting 3 months and one 6 months. The terms of reinstatement also include a possible permanent ban if it is earned (that cannot be appealed). The returning member will be permanently banned under the following circumstances: If a nudge is received at anytime in the first six months If a warn is received in the first 3 months If two warns are accrued in the following 3 months, as, after the first 3 months, one warn expires and one is still active If 3 active warns are accrued after the probation period has ended If the returning member socks, trolls, flames, or similar, at any time 7. Admod Team The administrator is the person who runs the technical aspects of the server. The moderators are the people who moderate the content. The “Admod Team” refers to the combination of moderators and administrators. Becoming a Moderator You must be at least 18 years old. You cannot have any current, active warnings. Eligible forum members who have interest in becoming a mod can contact us by email or join our Discord to discuss further. Members will be reviewed by the existing Admod team before being approved to become a moderator. The Admod team uses a Discord server to coordinate so members interested in being a mod should be willing to use Discord for this purpose. Moderator Removal If a member of the Admod team receives a warning, they are automatically relieved of their position. When they no longer have any active warnings, they can express interest in becoming a mod again. If a member of the Admod team is found to be irresponsible and removed from their position by the rest of the Admod team, they cannot be a mod again until 6 months after their removal from the position. If a member of the Admod team resigns from their position, they must also wait 6 months until they can become a mod again. A formerly banned member who was reinstated is ineligible to become a moderator. Moderator Conduct Moderators are also members and their posts as an individual should generally not be interpreted as reflecting on the Admod team. When moderators do make posts where they are speaking as a mod, they will use green text rather than the default black text in order to make this distinction. 8. Bots Running a Bot and/or automated operating script, that is deemed harmful to the security and operations of the Arocalypse website, without the expressed permission of the Webmasters and/or the Admod Team will result in an immediate and permanent ban. The decision of whether or not a Bot, and/or automated operating script, poses a threat to the security and operations of Arocalypse lies exclusively to the judgement of the Admod Team. The threat of Bots and/or automated operating scripts will be determined independently of any precedent cases with the exception of past situations pertaining to a specific program and/or script. All Bots and/or automated operating scripts, both currently in operation and in future operation, that do not impact the operations of the Arocalypse website and exist for the sole purpose of assisting and/or benefiting the user have been approved by the Admod Team in advance. In addition visible and registered 'Spider Bots' (Such as Google, Bing, Alexia, etc) have also been approved and are immune to this clause.
  10. Well, there are some issues with the colours in the theme after the latest update to Invision. I'll see what I can do about them as soon as possible.

  11. Sorry for the late reply (I pay more attention to the Site Comments forum where issues like this are usually reported). This should be fixed now, but it's been a long standing issue. Please do let me know if you're still having issues with this.
  12. Oops, I forgot to re-enable status updates. Fixed now!

  13. A big thank you to everyone who has stood up to help out. Everyone give a big welcome to the new members of the moderation team, in no particular order: @Autumn, @Holmbo, @Magni, @nonmerci, @roboticanary, @Erederyn, and @boba. On a personal note, I'll be stepping back from moderating on a day to day basis. I will instead be refocusing on the technical aspects of keeping the forum running and working behind the scenes to lead the team and make sure that they have what they need in order to do their job effectively.
  14. The forum will be returning to normal soon, however we're still looking for help especially from people in the Australia or eastern Asia timezones.
  15. Hi everyone, We regret to inform you all that we will be temporarily freezing Arocalypse for an undetermined period of time due to a long-standing issue. Since Momo took over administering the forum almost a year ago the moderator team has been under-staffed. The initial batch of moderators joined on a temporary basis but have been in place now for 9 months. Despite calls for moderators both on the forum and off the forum, only one other person has stepped up. At present, we are no longer able to moderate this site effectively and so we are placing it into a temporary but indefinite read-only mode till such time as we can find people to fill the position of moderators. The current moderators are burnt out and that’s not good for us, but it’s also bad for the forum at large. The current moderation queue can go days to a week before anyone responds to issues. The site will remain in its current state with all existing posts being available to view, but no new posts or replies will be accepted. We recognise this work is hard so we are looking for a team of people to help out. This is intentionally not a full time commitment, we want a team so that we can share the load between us and not everyone has to be available all the time. We’re not looking for specific commitments from people, but being able to help out at least a few days each month would be ideal. The position of a moderator is a volunteer position that requires: We’re only able to accept moderators over the age of 18 People who have an active warning are not eligible Willingness to use Discord for coordination Moderator duties: Reviewing and approving guest posts Being available to respond to reports and give warnings when needed Occasionally checking in on current conversations in general to keep an eye on things beyond what gets reported If you’re interested in helping or you just want more information then talk to us on Discord or contact us by email or the form in the footer of every page.
  16. I'm not sure exactly how it's calculated but it's a measure of how much you've interacted with the forums in a given time period.
  17. Very late reply, but this is a known issue. I've tried to fix it a few times but I haven't found anything that works yet. jpeg should be supported, Invision itself says that it should be working but whenever it tries it just fails.
  18. Welcoming @boba to the team! If anyone is interested, we are still looking for more hands to help out. Many hands make light work and all that.
  19. We are looking to add more moderators on this forum. If you are at all interested in being a moderator, please contact me via PM's and I will send you a Discord link to discuss whether you would be a good fit. At the moment we're looking for people who can be available proactively to help moderate discussions. The only hard requirement at the moment is that you can join us on Discord which we use to discuss and plan.
  20. For what it's worth, I use nebularomantic when I'm in the mood to be very specific. But usually I just use aro because microlabels aren't that important to me personally. This pretty much sums up my thoughts too.
  21. This thread is locked. It's been going downhill for a while and hit absolute rock bottom. Everyone take a breather.
  22. This post is locked - it's going off topic and getting into territory that's explicitly against the rules: A general reminder that this isn't the place to argue about whether someone is or isn't aromantic (or any other identity). I'd normally link to the AUREA website for definitions but their website seems to be broken at the moment. For others later though: https://www.aromanticism.org/en/glossary
  23. I do feel like I am missing out on certain things. Lots of things. Romance, partners, sky diving, travel... the list goes on. I don't really attach more or less emphasis to anything on that list. As an aro, I may be missing out on romance and stuff, but there's lots of things in life I will never do and that's mostly ok. I tend to focus on the things I want to do. If a romantic relationship is something you want to do, there are aros that have made that work for them. It just takes more communication with your partner than a regular romantic relationship normally does.
  24. People's likes and dislikes change over time. Someone can agree to something they genuinely want at the time and then some time later (lets say, 2-5 years) it is reasonably common that they may not like it any more. As an example, in my late teens and early 20's I genuinely enjoyed the romantic relationships I was in. In the last 3 years, I discovered that I was aro and I'd been treating my partners rather poorly, not out of malice or anything else, we just... drifted apart every time because I didn't have that attraction. And after coming to the realisation I was aro, romantic things make me feel icky - a reminder of the harm I've caused in the past, I guess. No one is capable of making a promise over all time. Situations, circumstances and tastes all change and cause our decisions to changes as a result. It absolutely could, and in fact there are multiple syndromes described in these terms. Too much avoidance is just as bad as too much persistence and rigidity.
  25. Welcome! Anyone is welcome to be here, as long as they're respectful. We don't disallow alloromantic people here, and there's even an entire subforum dedicated to that. But do please keep in mind that this is a space for aromantic and aro-spec people and the rules are written to protect us in our own space. As long as you follow the rules, you are welcome here as is anyone else.
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