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Corrupt a Wish

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You float off.

 

I wish my """"new, faster, more reliable"""" internet router was faster and more reliable than my old one.

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They crumble to dust slowly getting lighter and lighter.

 

I wish I knew what my weekly schedule will look like with A-level independent study.

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You know what your schedule is, but you're stuck with it. The A-level studies, ironically, take up more time than you expect, but ultimately do not help you pass the exam (mwahaha).

 

I wish I had an invisible bubble I could make around me that could shut people out when I mentally activate it.

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You have one, and because no-one else can see it, people stigmatise your unresponsiveness, so they put you through tests and endless theraphy sessions that occupy most of your free time. It gets more and more overwhelming, so you spend most of your life isolated in a bubble.

 

I wish I felt more creative, I just have an art block recently and I miss the satisfaction of creating something new.

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Your art block goes away, but you're left not being able to keep up with all your great new ideas and you end up forgetting a few you really wanted to do when you came up with them (speaking from experience).

 

I wish you could tell quiet, but insistent inner voices to go suck a lemon (specifically, the voice that tries to say "you wouldn't mind having another go at dating...").

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Guest ad-ARO-ble
1 hour ago, Untamed Heart said:

I wish you could tell quiet, but insistent inner voices to go suck a lemon (specifically, the voice that tries to say "you wouldn't mind having another go at dating...").

 

Whenever you do so, you get an irresistible urge to put a lemon into your ear for those inner voices to suck.

 

I wish days were an hour longer.

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Days are now 25 hours long. However, hours are now only 57 minutes and 36 seconds. Have fun keeping time!

 

I wish that I will be pleasantly surpsrised by my results for this semester of university.

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The pleasant surprises will persist and your life shall be boring and monotone.

 

I wish all the new rail projects in London were done by now.

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All the new rail projects are done now. The Elizabeth line gets abandoned before completion and will never function. The projects were abandoned in order to fix problems with already established and previously functioning lines and to check for safety, inconveniencing everyone.

 

I wish I could see the supermoon without the clouds tonight.

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You could, but the light pollution is so bad its almost like daylight.

 

I wish I had the perfect colours in my paintbox. Nice and bright, good texture, good pigmentation, consistent transparency, minimal fading. And no unplesant smell.

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It's all perfect but just as you're about to paint it all spills and the myth of Sisyphus persists.

 

I wish I could get relaxed in my free time instead of feeling a weight on my chest whenever I stop doing something.

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It has been made so. You relax when you have free time without anything weighing you down. Gravity ceases to work as you float away into the sunset. Your relaxed state does not allow you to get serious and down to earth.

 

I wish I was a lot better at being natural when conversing.

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People are bewildered as to why you carry a fish tank on wheels around.

 

I wish we could communicate with aliens. Not meet, just message.

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They spacecyberbully you.

 

I wish I wasn't that lazy.

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You overwork yourself into exhaustion.

 

I wish people would stop telling me to get a haircut.

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they tell you to dye your hair instead

 

I wish good music softwares were less expensive

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The music software industry dies. All the software goes on sale as companies try to minimize their losses.

 

I wish that any time someone was about to make a romantic move at me, I could preemptively strap myself into a conveniently placed fighter jet ejector seat mechanism, blast myself a few hundred feet into the sky, and parachute to the relative safety of a nearby park or golf course. 

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Granted, but you land in the water trap, almost drown, and after freeing yourself, get whacked with a ball and get a concussion.

 

I wish I could stick to writing one book instead of always losing interest in the old one and getting new ideas.

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You decide to try and work all your new ideas into the same book, and end up with a very lengthy novel that makes no sense at all.

 

I wish I could use up more of my knitting yarn stash.

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Granted. You use up all of the yarn in the world and now there is none left.

 

I wish I didn't have a sore spot on my armpit.

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Granted. You are seen as the Goddess of Death and Despair, and everyone hates you. (And you don't have any power.)

 

I wish I didn't feel anxious about things.

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Granted. Now, instead of feeling anxious, you will automatically think of the colour green to calm yourself.

 

I wish I owned every single book in the world on my e reader.

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