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About Jade

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  • Birthday 04/03/2001

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    girl (cis)
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  1. Hey, it's okay! I'm a 16 year old girl too, and I'm sexually attracted to other girls, but I've never had a crush or been in love. You're not alone and we're all here for you if you ever want to talk.
  2. Hey! There's an official arocalypse discord which is very popular which could give you a starting point, or you can PM me and I'll help you set up the server--I'm pretty experienced on discord and admin/mod several discord servers. I don't have time to really be active in it right now, but if you need help starting or advertising this would be a space I'd love to have.
  3. Musician here but not an instrumentalist! I sing. Mostly choral stuff but also some solos and musical/show choir stuff.
  4. Name Anxiety Score Avoidance Score your mother or mother-like figure 1.67 5.83 your father or father-like figure 1.00 5.83 your romantic partner 4.00 4.50 your best friend 6.00 1.50 So, dismissive (non-anxious but avoidant) with the parents, a little avoidant but mostly right in the middle for the idea of a romantic partner, and preoccupied (very anxious but also very non-avoidant) with my QPP. Seems right to me. Global attatchement style was preoccupied: Your general anxiety score was 7.00 and your general avoidance score was 3.67 (on a scale ranging from 1=low to 7=high).
  5. Aro lesbian from a mostly-liberal area of the US reporting in! Having role models of your gender and sexual orientation [edit: and romantic orientation Nope. Learning about romance and relationships from fiction, movies, and television Nope. Living with your partner and doing so openly to all. While people may not take it seriously (or assume things about it), "I live with my best friend" is not that uncommon of a roommate situation, and once I'm old enough to do that sort of thing I'm not going to want to hide it. Talking about your relationship and the projects, vacations, and family planning steps you and your partner are working on Not sure. I wouldn't want to hide it, but realistically I'd probably be uncomfortable talking about it since it'd be an unconventional scenario. Expressing pain when a relationship ends, and having others notice and attend to your pain This is probably the worst part of being aro for me. Nobody cares about ~just friends~ ''breaking up''. Not having to lie about attending LGBTQIA social activities, or having friends in that community. I've lied to my mom about attending a LGBT+ social group. So, uh, that one's a solid no. Although I am very open about how all my friends are gay and so am I. Kissing/hugging/being affectionate in public without threat or punishment I'm a very affectionate person, so hugging/being affectionate definitely; but kissing is a no. Dating the person of the gender you desire in your teen years. Guess who has two thumbs and has never dated a dude? This girl! ...so, yeah, this one's a yes! Dressing without worrying what it might represent to someone else This one's weird to me and I don't really get it? The main thing I think of when I get dressed is "oooh this shirt is really soft" and "I have worn this hoodie for the last 5 days without washing it but it's got cat ears so I'm going to wear it again" Increased possibilities for getting a job or being promoted No way. Although with my mental issues, this one would be even more ableism than it'd be aphobia/homophobia. Can't exactly stay closeted when one of the criteria is "Causes significant impairment at work/school." Receiving validation from your religious community, and being able to hold positions in your religious leadership ranks. Not religious, so N/A. But I am kinda spiritual (I read tarot and do some magic), and I doubt being an aro lesbian would stop anyone from letting me read their cards? IDK. Adopting or foster parenting children Probably not. Hopefully this will be fixed by the time I'm old enough... Being employed as a K-12 teacher without fear of being fired for “corrupting children” I don't think this would be an issue where I live but it depends somewhat on the school; if I move it might become more or less likely. Raising children without threats of state intervention Nope. Receiving equal benefits for you and your partner This one makes me smile, actually, since I can get married to my partner if I want now! And then we would receive equal benefits! We probably won't, because aromantic, but it's nice to not have my homosexuality be a factor in this one.
  6. I actually had to laugh a bit at this; I'm....very much not the stereotypical aromantic in this regard. 5.38 on attachment-related anxiety, and only 3.39 on avoidance, putting me solidly in the "preoccupied" area. I have definitely had bad friendships, but I need friendship and companionship so desperately, and often get told that I'm clingy. I fear rejection and loneliness more than anything in the world; the reason I stayed in abusive friendships as long as I did was that I would, by far, rather have an abusive friend than have no friend. I have no issue getting emotionally or physically close with others--but I fear a lot that it will not be desired or reciprocated. I'm the cuddly girl who tells you her issues and secrets on your third conversation with you, not the mysterious, stoic type (no matter how much I want to be :P). My anxieties about being too much for people are not enough to offset, well...actually being too much.
  7. One comment right now, I might go more in-depth later: I really wish I was able to choose more than one option. Making choices is hard.
  8. Ok I'm officially sold on dark gray bi Roxy. Forgot about Equius's flush crush, too. Dang. It was a bit of a plot point, too, I think? I haven't read act 5 in forever. I'm still holding onto my Terezi headcanon though. Also, those are A++ headcanons and I fully approve of all the arospec trolls. I haven't! I'll make a point of getting it, though; it definitely sounds good.
  9. Hey, is your signature a reference to "Welcome to Nightvale?"

    1. Jade
    2. shotinthehand


      Cool! I'm in in the middle of the podcast right now. Cecil is such a dear when he talks about Carlos and it's fun to listen to as a fan, but my skin crawls when I think of someone describing me like that haha

  10. I found it through tumblr! Here's a poll about how everyone found it.
  11. Hmm. It's confusing for me. On the one hand, I don't really mind being seen naked. On the other hand, if I've been self-harming regularly, I don't exactly want to shove a lovely mosaic of large wounds in people's faces. Even my scars tend to be.....personal for me. It's not the skin--it's the reveal of wounds. A couple months ago I got a cut on my neck and I ended up surprised at how uncomfortable I suddenly was at my neck showing; now that it's healed, I have no issue with it. I don't see anything sexual with nudity, especially as an artist who's friends with artists. Even if it were sexual, I feel like I probably wouldn't mind. I used to have no problem with getting completely nonsexual massages a few times a year while 100% butt-naked. Pain relief! It's great! Then there was some stuff with a mandatory-disclosure masseuse, and, well, now I'm more than a little freaked out about it....but again, it's not the skin, but the knowledge of self-injury and the invasion of privacy, that frightens me off. However, I do mind, very much, seeing my /own/ naked body. It makes me want to rip off my skin (thanks, dysphoria). It should be noted I have the same issue with looking at most parts of my body, including things it'd be weird to cover, like my face and hands (I wore fingerless gloves for a while to help cover my hands, and I've worn hand flower jewelry at other times for similar reasons). If you take other people's reactions out of the equation, I care about showing my butt as much as I would showing my knee--I don't particularly care about other people seeing either unless there's a cut on them, and I personally would prefer to see neither.
  12. http://tab.gladly.io/?r=7440 is my tab for a cause referral link! I will also donate to a charity of your choice. Thank you everyone who's willing to do this! One correction to the original post: it is Giving Tuesday, not Giving Thursday; the .25 offer lasts until 2PM Wednesday PST, due to time zones. Also, in the spirit of Giving Tuesday, I highly recommend people with spare money to check out charities to donate to; many have special offers going on now that won't last much longer! For example, yesterday I donated to Mercy For Animals while they had an offer by Jeff Thomas to match my donation twice over, resulting in my donation's impact being tripled. I was able to make the happiest gift of my life so far; I was able to save over 3,000 animals yesterday. For those of you in the US worried about negative impacts of a Trump presidency, perhaps look into refugee aid charities, legal defense charities, and environmental charities, but make sure to do your research that your money is going somewhere where it will make a difference (as someone who has devoted a large portion of my life to learning about nonprofits and altruism, and who currently works on the youth board of one of the largest animal rights orgs in the world, I am willing to help with this if people want me to). I definitely suggest that everyone look into charities of their choice before Giving Tuesday offers end, so that your contributions can make a bigger difference in this world! Also, at least one charity, the Environmental Defense Fund, has chosen to extend the Giving Tuesday offers slightly. As I mentioned, it's always good to look at the charities you personally like. If you're not sure, I recommend looking at Animal Charity Evaluators (for animals) or GiveWell (for humans), and if you're looking for environmental charities then I suggest PMing me so I can give you some resources for charity evaluation of that! There is also ecosia, a search engine you can use in opposition to traditional search engines like google and bing, which plants a tree for every search you make on it. So far, they've planted almost 6 million trees; you can increase this by getting ecosia at https://www.ecosia.org/. They aren't doing anything special for giving tuesday, but it's an important thing to mention in regards to helping charities for free online! There is also a daily button you can click at http://therainforestsite.greatergood.com/clickToGive/trs/home, but personally I'm sadly far too forgetful to use that like I do Ecosia, Tab for a Cause, or Goodblock. Also, a "sister site" to the rainforest site supports Autism Speaks, known to be a very bad and kind of evil charity. Still, if it works for you, it's an option! However, even if you cannot do these things, tab for a cause and goodblock can really help. In my year or so using these apps, I have gotten 13 years' worth of water to people who need it, just by doing my thing and browsing the internet in my free time. That's....it's such an incredible thing. I don't really have words for it other than "incredible".
  13. Hi. I've been in an abusive friendship before, too. You're not alone, okay? You're not crazy. She's hurting, gaslighting, and abusing you. Please, get away from her while you can. Don't let her back, no matter how much you want to. It's going to be hard, especially going to school with her. PM me if you want to talk more, this is a personal topic for me so I don't want to spend too much time talking about myself here, but I want you to know that you're not alone because I've been there. I'm here for you.
  14. Oh gosh, yes, this! I'm already dehumanized enough for being crazy, being aro is such a double-whammy... And there's the fact that I have a lot of Scary Neurodivergencies™ and I'm an alloaro (both stereotyped to be monstrous, predatory). I'm the sweetest person but nobody would believe it because of how my brain is. yup. I'm not autistic, but I don't know if I've ever found a place that accepted all of me; I feel like I'm too aro for lesbians, too lesbian for the aros, too crazy for the overall lgbt community, too queer for the disability community. My identity gets chopped up into pieces and it's so rare for me to find a community where I can be open about all of it. I never had issues with eye contact, personally, but I wish everyone was allowed to act however they wanted as long as they're not hurting others. Like, this: is really really sad to me. Your grades shouldn't be based on how 'normal' you look! Like, that's just....chilling. Even though I never had issues with eye contact, I had issues with other parts of being normal--talking to "myself" (actually hallucinations), being too sensitive, and stimming (flapping my hands, chewing on EVERYTHING, rocking back and forth...) were the main ones. For years and years I steadily destroyed myself in an attempt to look more NT. I'm slowly getting more comfortable being my crazy self, and it's amazing--but at the same time, it opens me up to more and more discrimination and hate. I agree very much with Teagan: I've forced myself for so so many years to act neurotypical and hated myself for not being neurotypical, but honestly, it shouldn't be a required thing. Disabled people shouldn't be required to do things that make them uncomfortable for the sake of the people around them. Yup. Very much so. Balancing "need to avoid ableism, be liked, get jobs, stay closeted/pass as NT" with "feeling obligated to do things you don't like, that exhaust you or hurt you, etc".... it's hard. internet hugs for everyone here. y'all are great, whether you pass as abled/nt all the time or whether you can never pass at all or anything in between. (now time to try and believe that of myself... )
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