Holmbo

Fellow NT here. I know what you mean about not being anxious about other peoples responses. I'm mostly the same, but sometimes I do care and I think that's when the term emotional vulnerability applies. To me it means that you give another person a means to hurt you, trusting that they wont.

Recently I've come to realize how many of the people I know could be categorized as aromantic, even if they don't use the term. About two years ago I met up with a former classmate of mine, because we had moved to the same town. When we were talking over dinner I shared with him that I recently realized I was aromantic. He told me he had considered if he was too and shared with me his struggle in interpreting his feelings. At my new job in this town I befriended a colleague. Recently I asked him if he'd ever been in love and he told me no, even though he has a girlfriend. And last spring I was on a trip with a friend. We talked about relationship and I told her about my aromanticism. She shared with me that she had never been in love and the main reason she was looking for a romantic relationship was to have a co-parent to raise children with. I think the distinction for people who chose to identify as aromantic is not really the lack of romantic feelings, but rather that it affects our relationship choices. All those three people I mentioned are, or plan to be, in committed romantic relationships. Even though they don't feel romantic attraction.

You do sound aro to me, but only you can decide if it fits. It's ok not to have a label too, it's just for convenience really. Maybe you should look into the philosophy of relationship anarchy. It's about not making a division of "friendship" or "romance" but rather seeing every relationship as unique in its own way.

I was just gonna post about how @simplyaros parents view of the internet gave me major flashback to how I was taught to use it in the late 90s. Never use your real name! Etc ? nowadays the line between internet and RL is much more blurred and it's nothing strange about meeting people from there.

I've come out to all my friends years ago but for most of my family it still haven't come up. I would like to be out to them because it would be easier for me to talk about my life plans. Since being aro has a huge impact in how I see my future. But at the same time they never pressure me about romance and seems to be fine with me not dating. So it feels weird to bring it up. We don't really talk about our love life much with each other. BTW I'm Swedish too ?

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Yeah I picked group with separate bedrooms. I think it would work best if everyone had a small room of their own for privacy.

My ideal living situation would be communal, preferably with people who share a common purpose. I think if I was born in another time and place a monastery life could appeal to me. I would love if there were "atheist monestaries" maybe run by humanist organizations. Or some green sustainable living ones. I also see the appeal of living on my own though. Currently I have two lodgers living with me. We're not really friends, cause we have very different lives and interests, but we get along well. There are advantages to not living alone but some disadvantages too Which option did you pick @Mark ?

I've seen several people on this forum describe themselves as transhumanist. I'm curious about this philosophy /viewpoint. For those of you who subscribe to it, do you apply it in your daily life or is it more of a general view about humanity as a whole?

I've defenitly had to deal with it. It's never been in a setting which has made me feel threatened though. In one instance it was actually kinda entertaining because it was just so silly.

I rather like this approach. Reminds me of a podcast I listened to where the hosts stated that there's always one correct ending for a TV show. Which excist regardless of how the writers actually end it.

"ledig" means available in Swedish ?

Done!

Nice to meet you too!

Interesting topic. I suppose I've always thought of group relationships as less important than one on one. When I hang out with groups I can invite people who are just acquaintances but when I hang out with just one person it's most often a close friend.

I see what you mean. I was 25 when I learned about aromanticism. The only ones that haven't accepted my coming out have been some guys that's been romantically interested in me, and my mom. One thing that might work is trying to phrase it in a positive way? Like instead of saying "I don't want to date" you could say "I really like being single. I'm very happy about it." What are people gonna say then? "No, you're not happy!" Maybe it makes it harder for them to disagree? To OP I think it's OK to use "I'm aro" as shorthand. Your explanation doesn't have to represent everyone. For example, if someone says "I'm married" as a response to someone coming onto them. That doesn't mean that everyone who's married are in a sexual monogamy.

I think that's a good aim. Also we shouldn't forget all the interactions humans can have without really there being any relationship. I really like interacting with strangers in some settings. It can be very rewarding and meaningful.

For me too. Especially since many people don't know what aromanticism is.

I think shipping is always gonna be a big part of fandoms. And no couple is safe from it, not even siblings. ? I think the amount of shipping is different depending on fan site though. Places that have a lot of memes and sharing of quick reactions will in my experience have more than those who are more about text.

That's a great idea. I'm graysexual and not active sexually so I don't think I can add much. But I will be happy to share and promote clips by others. I'm very sex positive while being really uninterested in romance so I'm always for more arosexual visibility.

Interesting topic. I agree there's a comparison to be made between amatonormativity and this norm of baseline happiness most culture seem to have at present. We must be happy all the time, and for many the most elated feelings are those of romantic love. One thing that doesn't fit with it though is how many people choose to stay in relationships they're not satisfied with simply not to be alone. Shouldn't they cherish the chance to get out there and search for a new exciting crush?

You could do it in a kinda hypotetchical way. Like if a homsexual/homoromantic person says something like, "you just haven't met the right person yet" you can respond with "how do you know you just haven't met the right person of the opposite gender yet?"

Maybe think of it is as something you do for the other person? You want them to feel good too right? You're giving them mouth massage? I don't know if that's useful advice. I'm the opposite in that I like kissing but don't really like most other sexual activity. What specifically about kissing do you disslike? Is it the mouth on mouth aspect of it? Or do you dislike kissing other body parts too?

In that case I'm shrugsexual