Holmbo

Based on the setup of the movie it was kinda obvious to me that they'd get together. But because of this it would have been great if they went against expectations and didn't do it. It's very enjoyable movie otherwise though. I used a clip from it in my compilation video aromantic moments

I've often seen ice cream being refereed to as aro food. New members of this forum are often welcomed with green ice cream emojis @Relay I agree, it's the stereotypical breakup/single food and so should be ours

I don't think you have to choose for the rest of your life. You can always change your mind. And sometimes life might change it for you.

I'm not sure what the rules are for creating new pages. Doesn't there have to be a certain amount of visits or something like that?

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think it's important to keep in mind that this disconnect of feelings is neither of yours fault. You say that you dissapoint others. But what about what you want? Don't forget that and allow yourself to feel sadness about your friend feeling your feelings for her were less meaningful cause they weren't romantic.

I enjoy kissing, but yeah cuddling is boooring. I've tried the "friends with benefits" relationship and it didn't go well because I got so bored with all the physical stuff.

I also have trouble with understanding why someone would care about sexual monogamy. Before I realized I was aro I used to think that I'd be ok with any boyfriend of mine to have sex with other women.

We've had some threads discussing books without romance and books with aro characters. Perhaps it would be fun to also have a more general book recommendation thread. Recommend any book you want. The only rule is that you must write at least a few sentences on why you think this book might appeal to aros.

Yeah I think I'm on a similar track. I've joined some different groups but I think should also try initiating some activities myself as well.

I hope that @Momo @Arthour or @Phoenix the II will want to take over. I don't think getting the money will be an issue. I'd be happy to pitch in at least a §100 myself. Just let me know where to send it. There would need to be reminders each year though to get in the cost for that year.

I'm feeling a bit adrift at the moment. Maybe you fellow aros can help me. Sorry if it's coming of as a bit of a rant. Feel free to comment about relating experiences, it doesn't have to be about my own personal musings. Ever since I moved away from my parents home, ten years ago, I've lived this kind of temporary life where everything I did was somewhat fleeting. Whatever I did it was always in my mind that it wouldn't last, college, the places I lived, my first job, my second job. I was always looking forward, feeling like the present was a preparation, a saving up for the future where my ideal life could begin. That's not to say I've not been happy. I've mostly enjoyed myself and I feel proud about how much I've accomplished. But now, when I'm close to thirty, I feel like I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to feel like I'm settled. For most people this would correspond to finding a partner and having kids, but I don't want either. When I try to imagine my ideal living situation it's some sort of communal living with a group of people. Preferably with a mission of some kind to promote community building and sustainability. But it's not like such a group is readily available. I've been trying to connect to different organizations to find like minded people but it's hard to know how to seek people out for such a big thing. I also feel like I'm afraid of actually trying to make such a thing happen for real. Because when it's in your mind it can be perfect. Does anyone struggle with similar feelings, wanting to settle down but being unsure about how?

How do you find people interested in polly relationships?

Even before I realized I was aro, monogamy seemed strange to me. Why restrict your relationships like that. I suppose I could see myself having a very unique relationship with someone where we shared some experiences only with each other. But that would have to come naturally.

Are you happy in your current life and relationship? If so you might not want to change anything. Your relationship are meaningful without romantic love and you don't really need to "come clean" or anything like that if you don't want to. That's my thoughts.

I've written before on this forum that I don't care if people read romantic interest into my behavior, that I don't want to limit myself. But despite this I feel like I am holding back with people, not really allowing myself to be as open or friendly as I could be. This is particularly true about people I don't know yet. I often enjoy meeting new people and am comfortable chatting with someone I don't know. But I can't shake the feeling that if I'm being too friendly it will seem like flirting, even though when I look at it objectively I don't think I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. Does anyone else have similar problem?

What did y'all think of the latest season? For me it was my least favorite, but that might change upon rewatch. Maybe once the next season is out I'll go back and see foreshadowing and introduced characters introduced this season.

I think you're right. I have thought of queerbaiting mostly in terms of relationships between characters, but I suppose it could just as well be about portraying one character as queer.

@Shyshy As with every relationship communication is key. Try to as each other what you both want in the relationship. for example it might be useful to read about the different love languages and talk to each other about how you like to display and receive affection.

Yeah I think it's hard to get a critical mass to get it going. I personally use couchsurfing to meet people since the people on there are in general not looking for dates.

Interesting topic. I found it difficult to choose since I feel like each friendship is different. For example, I've had people I considered friends which I mostly only met at parties. Those friendship still has value to me even if I didn't necessarily have any interest in deepening them. It's not better or worse than a deeper friendship, just different. I suppose the basic requirements for me in a friendship are the two categories you put first: -A person/people with whom you can have fun with -A person/people to hang out with I couldn't see myself being friends with someone if I didn't like hanging out with them. Maybe that sounds like a given, but I don't think it has to be. Some might be able to form close bonds with someone just by corresponding with each other, never having met or done shared activities. And some might feel a close connection with one they only spend time around a lot, not necessarily interacting with each other that much. The other options are things I also want, but not necessarily from most of my friends. I would be fine with having a separate friend for each of these points. For example one person who I feel have a similar world view as me that I could talk to about certain thoughts I have. Another that maybe I don't have much in common with but that I have a relationship of mutual care with. And maybe a third one for physical closeness.

I agree. But it's not always larger. For example I'd consider platonic non-sexual. While a friendship could involve sex.

And when we do try to give advice or understand we might very well be dismissed with. "Well, you've never been in love so you don't know what it's like."

Some background to why I'm asking this question: Me and my family had a Christmas lottery with books; each person provided one book that we put in a sack and then took turns to pick one each. I got a non fiction comic book about how society's view on romantic love and partnership has shifted and the authors thoughts about reasons why people might have trouble finding love. I thought the book was very well done, funny and thought provoking. But I'm unsure if I can apply any of it to my own life. It always feel like society makes out romantic relationships to be some kind of one of a kind feeling, totally different from any other type of relationship. When you read some kind of advice or study about romantic relationship, do you feel like it is applicable on other types of relationships?

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