GoodbyeRepublicServices Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 (edited) An aromantic moment for me was encountering the following video, and agreeing that it may explain the relationship between aromantics (and asexuals) and social norms. Edited April 12, 2021 by RepublicServicesVolunteer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScarfOfSexualPreference Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 UGH! That video is so good! Part of the reason I don't like romance movies is because they make it seem like being in a relationship is the goal. Like "the busy business woman putting aside her business for the funny guy." Getting married and having kids shouldn't be the goal in life. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carnival_of_lights Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 (edited) I always hated the whole Disney Princess thing when I was younger. I just found the whole storyline really boring. The only 2 I liked were Merida (from Brave) and Moana. I am now realising this must have been due to their lack of romance! I went to a really small primary school, there were only 2 boys in my year so I didn't really notice if any of the other girls were boy crazy. I did however feel this at high-school. Eugh. I did a lot of faking crushes to fit in and really not understanding people's obsession over the person they liked. Yeah, fast forward a couple of years and the aro-ness in me can explain a lot of my past thoughts and actions ? (Oops, meant to post this in the Early Signs that you were aro thread. I guess it fits here too!) Edited April 13, 2021 by carnival_of_lights 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acecream Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 My university lecturer is talking about milestones in life: “falling in love, marriage, the first kid, kids move out, death” umm well 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotHeartless Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 (edited) On 4/13/2021 at 11:28 AM, Acecream said: My university lecturer is talking about milestones in life: “falling in love, marriage, the first kid, kids move out, death” umm well Then the only milestone ahead of me is death . Sorry, I have crude humor. But honestly, I'm always amazed those are considered some of *the* goals in life. Often takes me down a mental rabbit hole where I think too much about the human condition. Edited April 19, 2021 by NotHeartless 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 After my nan died my grandad moved in and developed an affectionate relationship with his next door neighbour. I didn't really care, firstly 'till death do us part', secondly it was a very practical arrangement. They keep each other company which has been very important to him during lockdown. Also it means they are both fairly well off in their old age as my neighbour was able to rent her house out which is actually worth about as much each month as their pension. It has shocked me how a lot of people in my family are completely aghast at this. My uncle flat out said that if my grandad died 'she better be out of the house by midnight'. It seems like they view romance as a sort of force so vital that just having a practical relationship in old age is an affront to it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazydreamer Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 So I grew up very indian-ly. And when I was younger, I wanted to get a pixie cut (now I got one) and so I asked my mom and dad if I could. My dad was VERY against that but my mom didn't care too much. So my dad and I got into a giant fight. And so when my mom tried to intervene, my dad said, "Will she get married with that haircut?" And I was like, "What?" And he went, "You are going to marry someone with that haircut? No good indian boy will like that. This leads to bad marriages and other things, that's why the divorce rate is high in America." And I was like, "That's why you don't want me to get it?" Important lesson learned: Haircuts ruin marriages. 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 3 hours ago, crazydreamer said: And I was like, "That's why you don't want me to get it?" Important lesson learned: Haircuts ruin marriages. I would have honestly said: "bold of you to assume I wanna get married" I know indian culture puts some heavy weight in marriage, but for me, I do not want to get married and it wasn't until some years ago that I knew that it was my really my choice and not something I had to do. But yeah, my statement would most likely started war with your father. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 9 hours ago, crazydreamer said: Important lesson learned: Haircuts ruin marriages. The other day I saw on TV the end of an show about make over. After seeing the makeover of his girlfriend, the guy said : "before we were ready to break up, now we are ready to get married". Which of course really confused me but... Apparently for certain couples, your father isn't wrong. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotHeartless Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, crazydreamer said: Important lesson learned: Haircuts ruin marriages. Great, then we now know another way how to keep potential candidates for marriage away. Good insider tips! Edited April 15, 2021 by NotHeartless 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinniebandit Posted April 15, 2021 Share Posted April 15, 2021 1 hour ago, nonmerci said: After seeing the makeover of his girlfriend, the guy said : "before we were ready to break up, now we are ready to get married". lol - which means that before the makeover she wasn't up to his fantasy Makes one wonder why they were together in the first place... But oh well, that's reality TV is, anyway 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 On 4/15/2021 at 9:23 AM, nonmerci said: "before we were ready to break up, now we are ready to get married". That sure sounds like it will last as they get older 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 6 hours ago, roboticanary said: That sure sounds like it will last as they get older The best thing : they were old. I mean, not that old, they were in their 40 or 50, I don't remember. But for a marriage that's old. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted April 19, 2021 Share Posted April 19, 2021 49 minutes ago, nonmerci said: they were old. I mean, not that old, they were in their 40 or 50 ok wow, I had expected that to be a daft young couple not really having thought this through. That is insane to me that someone could get to their 40s and still not seem to get that people aren't going to be conventionally attractive forever. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodbyeRepublicServices Posted April 22, 2021 Share Posted April 22, 2021 On 4/14/2021 at 5:10 PM, crazydreamer said: "You are going to marry someone with that haircut? No good indian boy will like that. This leads to bad marriages and other things, that's why the divorce rate is high in America." Even if you do want to get married, who cares if a "good Indian boy" will like the haircut?! Be authentic to yourself! Speak your truth! Also, who says you have to marry someone of your nationality? When it comes to marriage, let your heart be the wind. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazydreamer Posted April 23, 2021 Share Posted April 23, 2021 On 4/21/2021 at 9:44 PM, RepublicServicesVolunteer said: Even if you do want to get married, who cares if a "good Indian boy" will like the haircut?! Be authentic to yourself! Speak your truth! Also, who says you have to marry someone of your nationality? When it comes to marriage, let your heart be the wind. I did come out recently to my parents and they both somewhat accept me. Well enough as long as I don't bring it up, they are fine. I've become a. lot stronger over the years, mainly because of something traumatic, but now I don't take orders. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acecream Posted April 24, 2021 Share Posted April 24, 2021 @crazydreamer congratulations for your coming out? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodbyeRepublicServices Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Well, something rather fascinating happened at my workplace yesterday. Some folks in the break room where I work were talking about how one of my co-workers had a crush on another (I didn't know whether that was true - I have a feeling it wasn't). That lead to my manager stating that "everyone in Park City is dating each other". I replied that that wasn't true -- I'm not dating anyone ... and I live in Park City! Then, my manager said to me, in a joking tone of voice, "What's wrong with you?" I did not reply to that ... as I was already on my way out the door by that point. Before I exited fully, however, others were commenting to me about finding the "perfect someone". I said that I'd already found that perfect someone -- me! They seemed to ignore that fact and they kept talking. However, here is my clever (and hilarious) retort aimed at my manager for saying "What's wrong with you?": -- There's nothing wrong with me for choosing not to date. What's wrong with YOU for thinking there's anything wrong with me for choosing not to date? (NOT in a joking tone of voice) Even though, yes, my manager was joking when she said "What's wrong with you?", that still doesn't make it OK. I experienced aro-phobia in action in that moment. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeepsInTheChiliPot Posted April 28, 2021 Share Posted April 28, 2021 A couple years ago I had a dream that my family was making me marry some guy. I remember the whole dream how upset and angry I was. Obviously being forced to marry someone would be upsetting for anyone but, I think it was more about having to get married. Also, my actual family doesn’t pressure me into dating or anything so it wasn’t based on real fears. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 on at least a couple of occasions over the last few months i have wondered why people I know have been able to meet and talk to each other then remembered they were partners and just lived together. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 I’m having what I now realise is “aro moments” when I sit listening to my friends talking and talking about how hard it is to be in love - both when their love interest is also feeling the same for them, or not. and I’m sitting there thinking “If it’s so difficult and frustrating - then why do it?” :P ? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acecream Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 my friend wanted to hear a song which is quite popular at the moment and all I thought was “oh pls not this amatonormative shit again” 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScarfOfSexualPreference Posted May 18, 2021 Share Posted May 18, 2021 On 5/12/2021 at 10:15 PM, Elin W said: “If it’s so difficult and frustrating - then why do it?” :P ? That’s one thing that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of fully understanding: ‘why don’t you just pick someone else’ or ‘what’s worth all that?’ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazydreamer Posted May 20, 2021 Share Posted May 20, 2021 On 5/18/2021 at 7:56 AM, Acecream said: my friend wanted to hear a song which is quite popular at the moment and all I thought was “oh pls not this amatonormative shit again” I relate to this on so many levels. The feeling of liking a song, trying to find the lyrics then the sheer disappointment of realising it's about love is so annoying. 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted May 21, 2021 Share Posted May 21, 2021 On 5/18/2021 at 8:46 PM, ScarfOfSexualPreference said: That’s one thing that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of fully understanding: ‘why don’t you just pick someone else’ or ‘what’s worth all that?’ That’s also one of the ways I’ve realised that I’m aromantic, after learning about it just a few months ago. Well actually, I did recognized this “incapability” to connect with romantic love before knowing there was a word for it and i was the only one feeling this way but.... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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