The Newest Fabled Creature

I love romances (to a certain degree, depends on how it's written), and although there are the few straight romances I like, I do tend to lean way more heavily into gay romances, as well. You're not a "bad" aro for liking romances, it's just a way to engage and like a specific type of genre or media. Besides, amatonormativity is the belief/assumption/etc that romance and romantic relationships are what "everyone strives for," and although romance can have that in it's media, there is romance without it out there. Yes, amatonormativity exists because of assumptions regarding romance and certain types of relationships, but romance, I wouldn't say, is inherently amatonormative.

Yeah, I read reviews of it, and many people thought that it felt like the trans characters were only respected for their gender when they finally came out; like, as if they weren't who they said they were when in the closet (hence why the trans girl gets called by her chosen name until the very end).

I've yet to be able to get one since I need to find a job real soon. But, a part of me hasn't been able to get one for a while in case I got questioned on it, but now I'm certain my family wouldn't care really.

Not to potentially stain the image of this book, since I heard from people that the book is problematic, but I've yet to find the means to read it myself to actually see if it is - so take this with a grain of salt. But, there's a book called "The Art of Being Normal" by Lisa Williamson, and it's about two trans teens and them going about their life in their own experiences, but there's supposed transphobia throughout the book; where the trans guy character supposedly misgenders and deadnames a trans girl repeatedly, and some of the chapters own POVs has it to where the girl's perspective is labeled in her deadname and not the one she's chosen. So, yeah, sounds bad already, though I haven't been able to read the book myself. But in case it is as bad as it's been told to me, then it's a book to be cautious of. If anyone's curious about potential problems in the book here's an article I found out about it: https://vocal.media/humans/the-big-problem-with-the-art-of-being-normal-by-lisa-williamson

Noodle from Gorillaz gives badass aro vbes

I have Facebook, I rarely post on there plus it has my deadname on it, but I do have Discord, Insta, Tumblr, and WhatsApp. I watch tons of YouTube too.

I guess if I wanted to say what style "felt aromantic" to me, that would be punk, but people may feel differently about that since I also see punk as a good expression of gender identity and activism (when activists are punks themselves or wield being punk in activism).

With most of my alloro friends, whenever I say "I love you" they know I mean it platonically, but there were occasions where a friend of mine got jealous of me being affectionate in my own way towards someone they had a crush on (their crush also being a friend of mine), which - like, jealousy is a normal emotional reaction, just as long as you don't let it overwhelm you, but it still sucked how I had to accommodate around a person's jealousy, especially when I also cared for said jealous person and couldn't state how much I cared about certain people around them very often.

Not that I fully lean into the robot stereotype, though it's %100 alright that others do, I did kind of reclaim the Tinman because of my own experiences, and I really like the song If I Only Had a Heart because it encapsulates how I felt when I first started questioning if I was aro-spec; and when I finally accepted it, I did kind of go into that "Oh, if I could only fall in love" mentality for a short bit. Nowadays, I like the song in a way that still somewhat reflects that "I wish..." feeling, but in a far less negative way. For me, I can be tender, gentle, and awfully sentimental regarding love and art, but to others who are alloromantic, I can never "actually" feel what it means to "feel deeply" about something, and in a retrospect there are indeed things I can never experience emotionally because of being aro. But, that doesn't mean I'm any less human, even if I did go through the dark thoughts of presuming that I would be kind of human if I was only alloro.

Yeah, it's just - with certain media it has to be engaging enough to actually have me want a couple to get together, but to have it as a whole entire episode? Woah.

I know I could prattle on about being an aro who loves coffee, but I love the analogy anyway ------ I also wanted to state that the song Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes feels very aro to me? Especially if you read the main singer being aro, and his wife being aro potentially as well, with how nonchalant the two seem to be in their relationship and how they're not drastically dependent on one another at all. Also, the song "Born Free" by Andy Williams, hands down, a very good song in my humble aromantic opinion.

How I dress is associated with how I feel in correlation with my gender identity, but I guess my style is all weird button-down shirts and baggy denim pants, with Corduroy pants as well and if I wanted I think I could associate that with my aromanticism.

Not alloromantic, but when I was little my "celebrity crushes" were actually my admiration of the actor's live action character that they play as, and not the actor themself per se, and the "crush" was actually me developing gender envy from the character. So many times I wanted to literally be Jack Sparrow, but I just written that feeling off as me having a crush on the character or on Johnny Depp himself, when all I liked was his swagger, clothes, personality, and deep voice (and the fact that I also saw him as sexually attractive too) and wanted that all to myself. I also do tend to fantasize being being with fictional characters, but not because I actually romantically like them, but because they're unattainable and I find them attractive in different ways, too. But, I can't win because then I stop thinking about the character in a romantic-relationship-way, since not even in my dreams I can't be aromantic. /lh

I have a close friend of mine who I met and chat on discord with, who lives in a different country from me, and we known each other for 4 years, yet I still couldn't explain how we got be to be close friends with each other?

I've heard of objectum attraction before, and although I don't experience it, I think I can see where you're coming from since I'm austistic and found that when I was younger I often personified objects as well - but I know that that's not the only experience to objectum attraction that there is, potentially. And besides, I can only understand something I don't experience, so much y'know? But I would be willing to learn more about it, for the attraction sounds interesting! Of course, only if you want to explain, since you shouldn't have that pressure put onto you. And as someone else stated, even though people stigmatize this attraction, the topic of objectum attraction can still be discussed since it's valid, and tbh I think anything outside of what's considered "The Norm" is stigmatized anyway; aspec people, gay people, mspec people, trans people, gender non-conforming people, otherkin, etc. This also reminds me though, of the aro-spec identity autoromantic (not saying that objectum is the same thing as it, of course not) where you feel romantic attraction towards yourself and nobody else, and the ace-spec equivalent is autosexual, where you experience sexual attraction towards yourself and nobody else, and those identities were considered to be "narcissistic" or that something was wrong with people with those identities, when there wasn't! And genuine narcissism isn't an attraction to yourself, and that definition where it states an attraction of oneself is a rather outdated way of explaining it. People who are auto don't hold a sense of entitlement or self-importance, they just experience a different way of feeling attraction.

Most definitely 3, though granted I'm not ace but I would be that person who just sat on a bench, watching people I know do fun stuff, as I stare into the abyss.

Evil

I would think so?

Maybe try to look at resources, videos, or talk with people who could relate and have worked through their issues in communication or in acting on their friendships (an idea could be starting a topic here or on any other forum). It could be a very good starting point, since I wouldn't know how to go about this even though I have my own problems with friendships. But also, as far as I know you, I like our common grounds and how philosophical and in-depth you make conversations. You're smart and some of your interests I also have interest in and you're easy to talk to.

I went through an 'accidental support' incident too, though a much different one. My mom started having the "what's your dream person?" conversation with me, and I told her up-front that I don't think I'd really want to be with anyone (I'm not out to her as aro though), and I did say the whole entire, "But if I did meet someone they'd be this, or have that trait, yada yada yada" to lighten up me having said that, but despite having tacked that on, she seems rather supportive and said that it's okay if I didn't want any of that. Now, I don't know if she thinks my desire will change in the future - hopefully she does not - but I think she relates because of her own life experiences regarding relationships, and so... it was nice having her approval, although I know I don't need it to live my life how I want.

It's why the only videos I can genuinely see myself making are video essay like shit, which I consume a lot of nowadays.

I can't say enough on how much I relate to that. I often still initiate conversations and meet-ups, but I can't help but feel exhausted and I don't mean to feel that way, but it can feel amazing when the other person initiates, at least until I can recharge. I too feel like I dominate conversations, and I get the negative feelings that can bring.

All of that sounds really frustrating, and I relate to it because of me being neurodivergent, but that doesn't have to mean that you are. I'm not interested in QPRs, but if I were I would find more relatability in your frustration in wanting to be able to maintain that type of relationship if you were to require one. I don't have much advice on being able to try to start or maintain a QPR, all I can say is that I hear you and feel you. Your feelings are valid, you shouldn't despise yourself in the regards of communication or confidence, but I understand your feelings.

I do like talking politics but I get wanting to talk about other things too, I could go on and on about a hyperfixation right now if I wanted to torture someone, or the Wild West at this point as well lmao

I get that. I've struggled with maintaining friendships too. I do have some friends who I can still maintain a bond with, even if I haven't seen them in a long time, but those types of friends are the odd-balls thrown at you in life. I can say, that over time, you'll meet people who'll understand and still care about you, even when it's hard to communicate or meet up with them.