I'm sure this is the kind of post that you get a lot here, but I've recently been questioning if I am aro/arospec after I got out of a relationship (broke up with a girl). I had previously identified as lesbian/queer, and also in the past as ace and demi. I have also been in romantic and sexual relationships with men in the past. One of these I knew I had no romantic feelings for before or over the course of the (short) relationship, it was more a platonic and sexual thing (but very romantic on his side eek). Another was a longer term relationship, over almost 2 years. I didn't have romantic feelings for/a crush on him at the start, but as the relationship progressed I eventually got the point (a long time after him) of saying I love you and believing I was in love with him. I am still a bit murky about this, but I think I probably genuinely loved him, albeit maybe not so intensely as he had loved me. Both of those relationships ended quite badly with me breaking up with them. I would say that I broke up with them feeling trapped in various ways, even if I did love the long term one. It was like I was yearning for something else/feeling the need to experiment more. After the second one I came out as a lesbian, believing that was why I didn't really have crushes on men. I had thought that I'd had one crush on a girl about 4-5 years in the past, but that was it apart from some girls where it is possible they were crushes but i'm unsure and thinking they might have been more squishes/swishes. I after breaking up with the second boyfriend got on tinder and started dating girls, and there was one that I was quite looking forward to the idea of a romantic relationship, but she moved away when we had only been on two dates so it is hard to asecertain if there was really something there. And then I was in a short relatinship with another girl some months later. I broke up with her for unrelated reasons but also because I didn't feel like I really had romantic feelings, like I didn't feel as into her as I should. This with the way I always felt when I was younger and through my life (pretty clueless what romantic feelings are actually like and constantly asking what a crush is/never having one when all my friends did and would ask me mine) led to me questioning whether I am aromantic. I think my ideal future could be one with a qpr and maybe casual sex. I really like the idea of not having the pressure of romance and to fall in love but still having a close and loving relationship. I sort of mentioned this questioning to a family member and a friend and they both seemed sort of skeptical and like I was jumping to conclusions and sort of seemed to go for the 'but you were in love with your boyfriend weren't you?' and 'you'll meet the right person someday' sort of things, or the sort of 'everyone can feel like that, not having crushes when you are young isn't that unusual'.
So I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone have a similar (or similarly confusing) experience with romance and questioning, and what do you think?
*also for context I am 20.