The Newest Fabled Creature

I haven't experienced much arophobia personally, though that's probably because I made sure to come out to people who I knew would be %100 chill about it (my brother and some friends of mine), but that's not to say that other aros don't do that too, and even when you scope someone out whose usually very chill with queer people, being aro could be that one thing they're not okay with. But people can still surprise you. Like, hell, I came out to someone recently who admitted they did not know what being aromantic or even asexual was at all, and they were cool with it. Albeit, still very confused though, lol. But I have seen some aro people I know be called "inhuman," "weird," and even "immoral' for being aro.

That's a very cool identity! I've heard about it before and it explains bits of how I act when I experience attraction, but I never really identified as such; but sounds very fascinating!

I relate to the romance-being-at-the-bottom-of-the-list thing, because that was me too! Most of my dreams or "goals" in life, never once consisted of my finding a partner and/or having a family. I also relate to the doubting and wondering-if-this-could-be-attraction type thing. I'm allosexual, specifically mspec, and experience immediate attraction towards guys (cis and trans) and masculine peoples (attraction towards girls and femme peoples happens only occasionally), and I would stare long and hard and wonder and try to "form a romantic attraction" toward an individual I know (most of the time this would be towards a guy) but my brain would shut it down right away and I would give up. It takes actual energy from me to try to see if I could somehow have a crush on someone.

Yes to all of that. That's how I feel now, even though it took me a while to feel very okay with myself. I do love being aro, because I feel like I have a type of distinct freedom - that yes some alloromantics could achieve, but usually don't get nor understand. Because I believe someone who's alloro can understand the freedom part, definitely, but the prospect that some of us aros may not ever want a partner, is something that alloros could probably not fully understand or at least understand it in a surface-level-reading-type way.

I can't even tell if I was ever confused about crushes, because I never once gave it any thought actually. Wow, that's technically another sign lol But, I would totally get the confusion about crushes = wanting to crush someone. Tbh, I think I would blame me being neurodivergent on my end, if I were to link those two together lol

I heavily relate to this. It wasn't Jaiden's video that made me realize that I'm aro, I found out beforehand, but I'm glad her video has helped out so many aspecs. But when I started minutely assuming, questioning, and even make jokes to myself that I could be aro, I would immediately shut it down, say to myself, "I may not want to date anyone but I can feel romantic attraction!" And kudos for people who are aro-spec or not, that feel romantic attraction but don't want any romantic relationships - I would just go on to find out that that's not me. The thing is, I was so fascinated by the aro community, intensely supportive (still am) and deeply intrigued. I was very curious about the fact that there's people who don't experience romantic attraction and are completely fine with that. And it doesn't have to mean you're a part of a community just because that type of fascination stirs within you, but for me - I felt seen and heard, despite fully believing that I was not aro. And I respected and still respect the hell out of aros! But when I finally started realizing that I could be aromantic, I felt like that that was the worse thing I could ever realize about myself. It's wan't really because of what I thought my family would think, or what my future would look like, it was just this intense internalized arophobia toward myself, that other people could be aro but not me, and I couldn't shake it for a while; I had this same reaction toward my gender identity as well. I had doubts (still do sometimes, but not as intense), I thought that I was a faker, a fraud, a monster. Until, suddenly, I started feeling this type of... freedom. And I don't know how or where that randomly started coming on, but because I started letting myself explore, dig deep through memories, and research more about the community, and let myself feel that completion, that click... I could finally breathe, even though it would be just the beginning of self-acceptance. Now that the worse of my having found out is over, my dreams of traveling and adventure and living my life how I want to, it feels all so much more nearer that I came to terms with being aromantic. I also relate to not telling the parents but telling the sibling(s), because so far my only family member that knows and is chill about it is my brother (I have a sister too, but I have not told her yet because she's very unreadable about what certain queer identities she would accept).

I actually just started having "aromantic moments" now that I realized I'm aro. Like, I've always had been aro to some capacity since I was a kid (now it's in full swing ever since the revelation), but the moments are just now happening? A recent one would be when I was watching Critical Role's Campaign 3 episodes (which I need to pick back up but I watch it with my siblings so I can't binge them by myself 😠) and I remembered that the DM, Matt Mercer, and one of the players - Marisha, are married and I thought to myself, "How can two people be so in love that they get married?" Unwarranted and an actual "intrusive" thought that made my head spin, because it was the first time I've ever been confused about romantic attraction/a romantic relationship. Because, I always did kind of "get it" by my being okay with romance or sometimes downright fascinated by it, but that moment threw me for a loop. Maybe I only "get romance" when it's between fictional characters, because realizing that real, breathing, and thriving human beings just - straight up get married, is weird. ... Okay maybe I don't get romance but only of the non-fiction variety

To be honest I don't exactly know if I had many signs as a kid? And that's okay! Sometimes we don't have "signs." Sometimes our experiences were just so normal to us that we can't discern what is a sign or not. But, I think I can try to formulate some of my experiences onto here. The first thing that I know is that (despite just now recently realizing that no my "crushes" actually were not that) whenever I would have a "crush" when I was younger, I wouldn't want to date them at all. Hitting the time of being in ✨middle school✨ I only had two total "crushes" during that time. One was a guy I knew and still know and am close friends with, and another was the blatant text book of "hey who's yoooour crush? ;)" and randomly choosing some random person; I chose some dude on our basketball team. The guy who I'm still friends with, I'll call him C, is probably the biggest red flag of "this was not romantic attraction at all but I was too blind to see that" in my life. Because when I got to know him through my brother, I would get this heavy feeling (that I labeled "forming a crush") in my chest, like I would physically feel it, but I would think about wanting to get to know him more, hang out and be close friends with him. I literally labeled this strong feeling of wanting to become best friends with someone, having a crush. 😐 He's handsome, sweet and very funny, but when I had this "crush" I was so scared of him liking me back and wanting to date, and despite actually sometimes fantasizing about what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with him, I knew deep down that it would stress me out and I wouldn't be happy. I somehow escaped the specific cesspool of traumatic dating that occurs throughout middle school, because I would stay shut up about my "crushes" on people. And having just now graduated high school, I can safely say that I never once had a crush in that building. I had a qpr, but had to break up with my qpp because I realized I'm non-partnering; which I had a very great suspicion of being beforehand, but I didn't really want to believe that I could be non-amorous, so I made myself get with them. Another quick example of my being so unaware of not actually experiencing romantic attraction, is that when I felt this pull toward a girl in elementary school, I labeled that as "not the same thing at all in any given way." To be honest, I think most of what I experienced as a kid was alterous attraction, at least definitely toward that girl and toward my friend C, but I could never have known at that age that that was what I was experiencing.

1st: Amatopunk aro | I'll actually need to look more into that because it sounds really interesting, though I think I'm more of a lovepunk aro 2nd: Aroace only | I'm aroallo but that's still a cool result! 3rd: Swords | I never saw myself as very logical and balanced but those qualities are what I seek more of to attain so I guess that works 4th: Aromantic flag | "homebody" "likes things that are familiar" sounds like me!

That's the situation I'm in. My parents and siblings already know about my sexuality and gender identity and are fine with it, but I haven't told all of them, except for my brother, about my aromanticism.

Some I made quite a while back:

Yes!! I was about to say - Characters I headcanon as aro: - Captain Jack Sparrow (gives off aroallo vibes of either the hetero orientation sort or bi orientation sort) - Willy Wonka (aroace, because yeah I actually care about a candy lunatic specialist's romantic orientation let me dream) - Megamind (his punk attitude gives off as aro-ness to me, but to be specific I kind of headcanon him as demiromantic) - Ashton Greymoore (speaking of punk attitude Critical Role's Campaign 3's enby Earth Genasi player has hella aro vibes) - Elsa (lesbian orientated aroace pretty much, I mean I see her as non-partnering but if she did ever get into a relationship I can really only see her doing that with another woman) - Améthyste (she's basically Steven's wine aunt what's not to headcanon?) And there's a %100 more characters I headcanon as aro but that's all I can think of for now ^^" Oh! I really headcanon Sherlock Holmes, from the original books at least, to be aplspec aroace who's in a QPR with John Watson

Answers if I were young: 1) Chicken nuggets 2) Pizza rolls 3) Jurassic Park 4) Inuyasha 5) Jeremy Thatcher the Dragon Hatcher 6) Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO 7) Wolf 8) Hide n' Seek 9) Writing 10) For butterflies to send messages to people Answers from me currently: 1) Mashed potatoes (or fries I can't decide) 2) Instant cup Ramen 3) Wolf Children (still makes me cry) 4) Sandman 5) Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy by Laini Taylor 6) This is actually so unfair because I love all kinds of music, but I guess for rn it's I Was Made For Loving You by KISS 7) Owl 8) Uno 9) Writing still! 10) Any soft food that has something somehow crunchy in it should be outlawed

My favorite "aro song" would probably have to be Call Me The Breeze by Lynryd Skynyrd. Initially the song is about the singer's traveling life in being a musician, and that his moving about and singlehood is mainly related to that, but as an aro it's a song that, for some reason, hits right on the spot for me with its lyrics? For anyone who hasn't heard this song before, a few lyrics that I'm talking about would be these: "Call me the breezeI keep blowin' down the roadWell now, they call me the breezeI keep blowin' down the roadI ain't got me nobodyI don't carry me no load" "Ain't no change in the weatherAin't no changes in meWell, there ain't no change in the weatherAin't no changes in meAnd I ain't hidin' from nobodyNobody's hidin' from me" ⬆️ This set of lyrics I just love because it's that mix of certainty and defiance, especially the next lyrics, "Oh, that's the way it's supposed to be"

It's 2022, so I don't know if this thread is of topic anymore to some people, but when discussing aromantic artists I don't see Donovan Funk referenced, like, at all? And he makes very good music, but barely have any views on YT, or listens on Spotify. But anyhow, I also wanted to share songs that I interpreted as aromantic/have heavy aro-coded vibes! Call Me The Breeze - Lynyrd Skynyrd (basic summary: singer states how they're not tied to anyone as they travel about, and they're absolutely fine with that) Why iii Love The Moon - Phony Ppl (basic summary: singer feels that love is just too intangible and somewhat fake, so they turn towards something that's real, which is the moon) From Here - coldroses (interpretation: singer is finding bits and pieces of their identity, which shifts their axis on the world as they also replay the past love they either thought they felt, or used to feel) Heart Eater - Connie Glynn [an aro artist] (basic summary: singer states how they've felt like they had to try over and over again to date or form crushes) Will I Ever Find a Love? - Tower of Power (basic summary: singer laments about going about their days without finding their "true love" | like an aro in denial situation (or a person who possibly doesn't know that they're aro) where they want/yearn for a partner with some conditioned amatonormativity involved as well) Aerials - System Of A Down (interpretation: singer states how people feel very lost in their identity, but when they discover a label that makes everything click it makes them feel lost all over again, until they're eventually comfortable with ourselves) sorry haha i fell asleep - Egg (basic summary: singer expresses how they're not good at communicating and so often struggles to reply back to friends |I interepret this as someone who's aro and who doesn't want to get too close with a friend that they like, because they're afraid to give themselves away to which their friend would then leave them) The Willow Maid - Erutan (basic summary: singer tells a tale about many men who tried to court a willow maid who didn't want to take on a spouse at all) No Widows - The Antlers (basic summary: singer states how if anything were to happen to them that there wouldn't be a spouse to mourn them, nor a family abandoned by their absence, because a spouse and a family isn't what they wanted) Don't Call My Name - Skinshape (basic summary: singer states how they'll dubiously wait to embrace the person that they've had side relations with | I interpret this as an aro who doesn't mind being a side piece (or probably something more) to the person they're "with" but also wouldn't care less if the relationship was cut off) High Notes - Dizzy! (interpretation: singer states how someone who loves them needs to stop trying to be their "hero," since the singer doesn't love them back, although they've tried)