The Newest Fabled Creature

Maybe this is a bit too masculine, the clothes I wear at least But, I usually do a baggy-not-too-baggy denim (or jean) pants with a button-up/button-down shirt combo, where the shirt is tucked in, and I usually go with a belt as well. Corduroy pants with some bombastic shirts (button-up shirt or a standard shirt) with a belt is what I also wear, too. Of course, this is how I try to look androgynous, and isn't something you have to wear. For the most part, when I had long hair, I looked pretty androgynous (maybe a bit too serial killery though 😅), but now that I had my hair cut short I think I kind of look like a butch lesbian lmao. I often have to wear a standard shirt with tight jeans to look more androgynous (or flat out wear a skirt, which I'm fine with) nowadays. Edit: It's my mission rn to try to get the 'Uncle Female' shirt (from ICarly?) because it describes my gender perfectly

Heya! I wanted to create this topic so that if anyone wanted to they could share their aromantic/aro/aro-spec playlists! The playlists could be of compiled songs made by aro artists, or of songs made for aros even if the artist themselves aren't aro, or they could be playlists filled with songs you interpreted as aro or that felt like they were aro-coded! Here's my playlist (Spotify), it's a mix of all of what I described up top: There's a lot more songs on there than what the embedded playlist shows, though. Edit: I don't know if this should've gone into the aro culture forum or not, so I chose this one instead. ^^'

I know there's plenty of shit I did as a kid that is cringe worthy, but most of my "cringeist" memories are just the ways I stimmed as a child (I would play with random-ass objects than my toys and run around, sometimes I did this outside). Which, it's kind of sad, because how I stimmed in of itself isn't even cringey but over time that's how my brain categorized those memories 😅

Reading +18 fan-fiction (not something one should feel guilty for reading of course, but fanfic has a type of stigma placed onto it) Watching FNAF analogue horror tapes XD (the games kind of get dunked on a little nowadays, but the fan-made VHS tapes and analogues are really cool)

I came out to some friends of mine about being aro and they were very accepting, with a few needing a brief explanation on what aromanticism is (some of them accidentally say I'm ace and I have to correct them). I'm not out to anyone in my family, other than my brother, who kind of doesn't get it but has the spirit at least.

Happy pride month!! I'm planning on trying to go to my State's city Pride Parade/Fest that is going to happen on June 17th and it would be the first Pride I ever took part in! I'm hoping I can go with some friends, but most of them have parents that are always so iffy about Pride stuff; my brother might tag along though!

That literally happened to me the other day!! The joy was immense. I found this song that has been used everywhere on tik tok and whenever I tried clicking on the record spinning to find it's name, it was always some pre-recording of the song so the name wouldn't be on there. The song was Love You So by The King Khan & BBQ Show, one my of new favorite romo songs now 😎

I heavily relate to this, I too thought that it would just ...happen. And when I started getting uncomfortable about romantic relationships, I thought falling in love would still happen for me even if I wanted nothing to happen relationship-wise.

I would very much like to read this book, it's seems very interesting and I could relate to Kobabe on a gender and aromantic level. I didn't experience too much confusion in my gender identity, but my aromanticism was a trip, and when I finally accepted that part of who I am, it felt so suddenly freeing that I don't have to go on dates or get married.

I love writing short stories or poems, but atm I'm going through a very bad writer's block (head empty on anything creative and it has been driving me insane), reading and in hindsight collecting books, listening to music (don't think I could live without it), watching anything interesting on YT/the occasional show, playing D&D, board games, and traveling/going to completely new places; though granted I don't get to do much of that at all.

Having grown up in a standard poor American, somewhat-religious-but-not-really, household I often felt pressure into finding a partner mainly by society and those around me in public/school, than I do/did at home. I mean, because my family doesn't know much about aromanticism, other than the few times I've talked about it, there is that unspoken expectation that I may end up with a partner, but generally not much is ever brought up about who I supposedly may like or want to see/date. Growing up there wasn't much talk about romance or sex, unless me and someone else started a conversation about it, or if I was just starting to learn about those things in the first place.

I kind of like pet-names, especially strange ones that me and my friends use that are uniquely for each other (ex: starlight, starshine, even the name gremlin, etc). Sometimes it is kind of hard for me to use certain pet-names like "hon," "sweetheart," or the rare use of "babe" without feeling like I implied something that isn't there, but saying "I love you" comes quite easily to me around friends, as long as it is made known that it's not meant romantically first.

That's amazing! I've recently graduated and don't have a job yet, but once I get that situated and have my own bank acc, I could probably purchase a little pin without it needing to go through any family members that don't know

Aaaaye, that'd be cool!!

I love romances (to an extent)! Usually/Most of the time I'll engage in romances in book format. I love Fantasy romances and YA romances, but I don't necessarily go looking for stories completely in the Romance genre, unless the already existent storyline/plot in the book pulled me and intrigued me enough; but most of the time, a book series I buy will have romance in it unprompted and sometimes that can dwindle a bit of the experience in being fully engaged with the story, if it's written about too much/if it became a focal point when the story is about something else entirely (now if the whole entire point was for the romance to be the focus then I wouldn't be so inclined to complain if I was intrigued by the book to begin with). But me being drawn to plot is usually the case for any type of book I get, that be it sci-fi-, horror, YA, real-fiction, Fantasy (though nearly every book or book series I have is in Fantasy), etc. It's also the prose/writing style of the author that pulls me in, as well. Now, romances in shows are a whole different ball-park, because I feel like I can kind of enjoy them more than when I'm reading about them. Of course, it would have to entice me first in what the whole entire general story is, but most of the time I would still find myself being captivated by the romance even if the plot is mediocre; if the plot was downright dumpster-trash then I wouldn't be so in tuned. But here are some book recommendations; these ones are not from the romance genre but have enough romance in it to entice anyone romo favorable, but also hopefully not suck anyone entirely out of the story if romance isn't their thing, because these books are phenomenal reads to begin with (most of these books will be from the fantasy genre): Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor | a fantasy series where in a different world there are two races, the Chimera and the Seraphim, who are at war and through the bloodshed, a Chimera and a Seraphim form an unlikely love (has a hefty amount of romance) Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore | a fantasy novel where the main character goes through unlimited amount of timelines of when she made different choices in certain scenarios, some of these may or may not contain romance in them Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard | a fantasy series in which the world is divided by blood, red blood and silver blood, to which reds usually have no abilities while silvers have an arrange of complex powers, through a revolution that later takes place newbloods appear (reds with abilities) Honorable books that are more intertwined with the romance genre: They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera | a sci-fi novel where a national network called Death-Cast can call and inform someone of when they only have 24 hours left to live, you follow two guys, Matteo and Rufus, as they navigate their last day together Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas | a young adult and fantasy novel where you follow the main character, a trans teen named Yadriel, who not only wants to prove his gender to his community but also prove his worth in helping the spirits of the dead Honorable books to be either completely devoid of or nearly devoid of romance: Elmet by Fiona Mozley | a literary novel that takes place in an eerly fable-isk world where you are in the perspective of a gender-ambiguous/nonbinary-coded kid named Daniel, who - with his father and sister - have to try to protect their home when it's threatened to be taken from them Lost Boy by Christina Henry | a fantasy novel and a dark retelling of Captain Hook's backstory in having been a lost boy that once followed Peter Pan (this book ends up having romance slowly work it's way in, but it's definitely not the focus)

This topic brings me to my own dilemma of wanting to get aromantic pride pins/patches/flags/etc, but my family (other than my brother) don't know that I'm aro. I mean, I kind of already have an aro pin? But it's a pin my friend made of a D&D character of mine who's aro, and I would like a pin that was just the flag. Uhhhg, uncertainty.

I'm very much happy being single! It's the only "relationship" status of mine that I can still see myself being happy in, in the far future! This is how I feel most of the time, too.

That does sound really nice. Sometimes I seek out my friends because I need their closeness, but for how long I can keep up a social interaction/hanging out with them varies. Not that I don't want to hang out with them all the time, but sometimes I need the opportunity to go back to my "cave"/be withdrawn essentially. Some of that could be just how I function socially normally, but it's how I've always been lmao

I don't see that as inherently childish, and if anything, I see it as beautiful; besides, me being with a group of friends or immediate family members or anything of the sorts, like that as you described, would make me far happier than being in any romantic relationship. I just can't conceive a romantic relationship giving me the same level of happiness I'd feel with a group of people I'm close with platonically. And as you said, I think see my aspirations far more clearer without the weight of having to find a partner (whether I act upon opportunities to fulfill said aspirations is a whole 'nother matter lol). [Side-note] And what kind of gets at me too, is that when I first started questioning - not necessarily my romantic orientation - but why I haven't been having crushes or "falling in love," I still considered myself able to (so alloromantic) but I didn't want to get into any romantic relationship, or at least not do so at the time, and saw myself as solo anyway. But, yeah it would take a while till I then questioned and made the connection about my aromanticism.

All of that is completely valid, and it's also how I feel about romantic love. I just can't see myself sacrificing so much for someone romantically or centering myself solely onto one person romantically; a person who I'd probably be mostly performing around than genuinely being myself with. I often find it intriguing and fascinating to see romantic relationships in both fiction and real life, from either two alloromantics, or by aro-specs, because it's something I just can't do. And it does feel rather comforting talking to people who are aro-spec and older. I would say that I started questioning my romantic orientation at the age of 15 and have recently started identifying as aro for a better part of almost two years. Edit: I know things change, and the future is very uncertain, but I'd be comfortable not ever wanting a romantic relationship or experiencing romantic attraction in the future.

I'm 19 (so not that old despite the fact that I feel old lol), and I also find it cool that there's someone that I can relate to so well on here, too!

That's how I feel too fr fr

I relate to this. Though I'm aroallo, and once I started accepting that, I did feel free in not having to be "destined" for a romantic relationship where I'd be unhappy, but then - I wouldn't experience the good parts of what those relationships hold. I don't necessarily grieve the fact that I can't have those relationships, but I do sometimes wish I could want them, the actual relationship, than just the idea of said relationship.

Yeah it can be kind of tricky, and nuances in experiences of either a-spectrum and can just lead to more questions sometimes XD

At least from my own experience, there have been times where it feels like my sexual attraction from my sexuality has tried to bleed into my aromanticism, in the fact that sometimes I would confuse myself in how I'm not experiencing romantic attraction, but am freely experiencing sexual attraction. I think some of this could be the belief some allos have - that because I'm allosexual then I "must be" alloromantic working its way into my head. Or maybe my neurodivergencey also has something to do with it, a little, in mainly the forgetfulness/confusion I end up experiencing. But either way, that's the correlation I experience with my sexuality and aromanticism, attraction-wise. Also what other allo aros have said about self-acceptance or realizing you're not the norm. It took me a long while to actually piece together my dwindling emotional/nearly romantic attraction over the years, to my being aromantic, and even longer to not feel like that me realizing I'm aro is not a bad thing, than it did with people who I knew to be aroace, not to say they didn't go through that either though. One time, which I think was the first time I ever questioned my romantic orientation, was when I got confused about my dwindling emotional attraction to others and even asked a friend who's aroace if that was weird, and they told me that they never had a crush ever and so to them that was normal, but I was still left confused 😅 (not to assume that anything is easier for aroaces, but granted my friend had already figured themselves out and I wasn't exactly aware of people being only aromantic and not havin' to also be asexual)