roboticanary

Welcome Hope you find what you are looking for. Judging by this and your preface aroflux seems a good place to start in working out your orientation, so good luck finding what fits you. Also, another person who likes cats. Fantastic, I'm sure you will make friends here.

to be honest that does sound a lot nicer. I've never liked the idea of viewing relationships in a sort of predator/prey way. I'm in pretty much the same situation as this, its not that my parents would be openly hostile to me but just that I know they wouldn't understand. In my case it is also that I really don't want to explain this to my grandad (who will be told if I tell my parents). He is a kind man but is also the most openly romantic man I have ever known, his life has always been lived around love and he even annoyed a lot of the family by bringing in a new woman after my nan died. I really do not want to try to explain to him the idea of not wanting romance.

welcome nope, nope, nope. I remember doing this for months. This isnt me I just spend hours on end learning about a niche identity for no apparent reason ah well, good to see you are here. As @Erederyn says, if you feel differently later, that's okay.

Hi, hope you manage to figure things out. As for discourse remaining civil, if anything comes up remember that invalidating someones identity is very much frowned upon here. Also no worries about inserting yourself into a community that is not meant for you. I know some people might get angry but how else are you supposed to find where you do belong other than to engage in different ideas and see which ones fit. If it turns out you decide you are not aro then thats fine, but you belong here because you are questioning and that is enough.

Eh, I dont think it matters too much as long as it works for you. I cant find any at the moment but I'm sure I remember seeing a few people on the aromantic reddit page use light silver rings as a sort of white ring equivalent. As for whether it would be recognisable, no idea. I probably wouldnt notice no matter what colour it was and even if I did recognise a white ring would probably be thinking it was just a style thing rather than that person being aro.

Ok, no worries.Those lists can be useful for some people in finding a different facet of aromanticism than whatever stereotypes they had before arriving here, for example looking at people with ideas of romance very different from the clueless, romance averse sort you talked about at the beginning. Sometimes these lists provide an identity that fits well, sometimes they dont. While it is true you could be a very 'picky' romantic it seems that being aromantic is very likely. your reply really sounds like how many aros think about the idea of a long term relationship with a good friend. that is very similar to how I would think about a long term relationship

I'd rather fake my death in a canoe accident than get married

remember everything, sleep is great so I'm fine getting tired. would you rather be able to shoot lightning from your fingers or summon swarms of bees

I suppose my musical tastes could have been a clue looking back. Its not unique to aromanticism but preferring to avoid songs about love was a clue. Also not really caring about how heartfelt a song was. like isn't this song beautiful? no, here's this song about death I just found, much better. Similar thing with characters in novels and movies, I want the cynical character, the brooding loner seems far more interesting to me.

present

well done @PeepsInTheChiliPot its a shame that so many people just wont believe you but on the whole that sounded like a decent testing of the waters. You have a fair idea what to expect if you decide to come out in the future and that is a useful thing to know. Also at 23 you are probably right about knowing yourself enough to know what you want, certainly for something like romance. You have had probably over a decade of working yourself out in that regard.

ok, here are a few thoughts. You certaily sound aro with a lot of this. the idea of wanting some form of close relationship but not romantic is rather common here. you said in your intro about being an old aven user so you probably know about stuff like queerplatonic relationships and that sort of thing already. Ideas like that are useful for aros as well. picky is an understatement there, maybe you are, but to be honest that sounds far more aro. you want the sort of romance that doesnt involve romance . also having fantasies about romance but not wanting romance to happen to you is another thing that is fairly common here. Might be worth having a quick look through aro identities here and see if any of the labels would be a good description for what you experience. https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms

Ok, I'm not sure on this one. I can get a squish, or at least what sounds like how other people who describe a squish, with anyone. However the way it happens for me seems to vary. Could possibly be years and years of life experience and learning about how I am expected to interact with different people has had an effect on me. I cant just get rid of years of growing up which make it easier to socialise with some people, who tend to be men, than others.

yoink your words are mine now

welcome, fantastic description, I'm tempted to steal this its so beautiful.

hi, as aro elise says, it is hard to speculate from what you have told us, but it does sound like you might be somewhere aro. I'd put it this way, questioning whether you feel romantic attraction for weeks and joining an aro forum is often a sign. aside from that, welcome. hope you find what you are looking for.

cool stuff, 'Can we play DnD now?' is just brilliant and the aro heart is such a beautiful design

OK, this is an old one but I just found this and I feel a kinship with bunidog. http://www.bunicomic.com/comic/buni-636/

Great, 10th should be a good for me. cheers @DogObsessedLianne for setting this up, the first one was great. First time I have ever been able to chat about aromanicism with other aros.

hi hope you fit in here, we are a nice bunch so things should be fine. Agreed on wanting a better 2021, I'm fairly low in expectation at the moment but over time things should improve.

meh

Alright people, what are your favourite christmas songs, I swear we're far enough into december for it to be ok to bring this up. as for me, 'I believe in father christmas', 'stop the cavalry', and 'feliz navidad'. honourable mention to 'all together now', which is not really the mood for a christmas party but is beautiful and just the best. p.s. if you argue for 'all i want for christmas is you' I will reach through your computer screen and set fire to your lungs

fantastic. ice cream celebration time

fair point sometimes it is good to have a gripe. I have seen a few posts complaining but not a lot. some people commenting about coming out, a few complaints about societal expectation of getting married. and as for not accepting themselves, a lot of the 'am i aro' sort of posts involve people not accepting themselves. however in my case I dont mind this place being so positive so im not going to do much to push people to have those gripes. if you think it would be cool to see that sort of thing it might be worth making a few posts that push for it, like a 'what do you hate about being aro' or a 'least favourite aro experience' sort of thing.

something else that came up for me a while back, looking for work is much less stressful when you dont have to restrict yourself based on a romantic partner. I know a friend who had struggled to get a job because their partner was not willing to move from his hometown. fair enough but it meant they were kind of screwed for options because this place was in the arse end of nowhere. had another friend who gave up a damn good night shift job due to a relationship with someone who worked 9 to 5 and hating not being able to see them. An uncle of mine gave up a fairly chill job he liked because he desperately needed something better payed to start a family. having that freedom to just move where work is better if i need to but also not being forced into jobs I dont want to do because romance reasons is really nice. Also if i really need to I have the option of moving jobs or quitting with only my dumb self in trouble for it.