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Black Sesame

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  • Orientation
    very very likely aromantic
  • Gender
  • Location
    Bavaria, Germany
  • Occupation

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  1. That makes a lot of sense to me. It's really difficult to navigate through all that, but I guess to some extent we can't really help it. Thank you so much for your input.
  2. It definitely does for me, because I know how much my parents are looking forward to having grandchildren and I won't have to completely deny them this wish of theirs, they will just have less or maybe I will adopt one...we'll see.
  3. I would love to join as well. About the meet-up: Can anyone partake in it?
  4. Thank you everyone for the replies. I think that I now have a good picture of what a "squish" is like. It might not be a a "squish", but I can really understand the idea of wanting to be friends with fictional characters like Spider-man or Harry Potter. I would be happy to meet either of them. And maybe also Tony Stark and Sherlock,...
  5. Hello, it is great that you are so supportive of her. I'm sure that knowing you have her back is already a great comfort for her. I can only speak from my own experience as a 26 y.o. aroace. In my case I feel strongly repulsed by any form of public affection and intimate topics, meaning that even holding hands or just stroking each others back in front of me can already make me feel uncomfortable. This does not mean, however, that I do not support other people's relationship. I am still genuinely happy for them and congratulate them. Just, maybe from a bit further away. When I was your daughter's age, coping with that was really more difficult. Now, 13 years later I honestly can't say that I am less repulsed than before, but in a society where romance and all kinds of intimacy are a vital part of people's lifes, its impossible to avoid completely. Over time I have adapted a lot. I avoid what I can, and when I can't, I just endure it. In my case, I'm not out to anyone, so I can't really say anything, but if I were, I would like it if people who know about my situation would respect my feelings and not be too affectionate in front of me, but if certain forms of affection are important to them, I would also respect that. Communication and mutual respect are the most important factors in my opinion. It is just a thought of mine and it might be a little bit of a stretch, but interacting with many people from different cultural backgrounds has helped me a lot in coping with different opinions and the like, as well. This of course is only from my perpective and your daughter might have a different experience. I still hope that this could help you in some way.
  6. Hey everyone, I've been reading about "squishes" a few times now and gotten a bit curious. To me its a concept that fell out of the clouds. I really had no idea there could be something like that (sorry for being ignorant about it). The way I understood it "squishes" are like "crushes" but actually not, or sth like that? I just wanted to know whether you guys have ever experienced one and if yes, what it was like for you?
  7. This shows in a tragic way how many aros get to hear things like that. I'm not even out as aromantic, but can still tick some of those boxes...
  8. I really like your analogy and will keep it in mind the next time someone says I'm losing out in something.
  9. Hello, Cinnamon. I believe that identity is way more adaptable than we often assume, so its fine to identify with what currently makes you feel the most comfortable, even if you might end up reassessing it in the future. I guess many of us question our orientation again and again and that is okay as well. Welcome to arocalypse!
  10. Hello @Citrus PoppyI can't really help you with the specifics of your romantic orientation, bc I don't know anything about squishes, but I still want to welcome you to this community. Maybe you'll figure it out once you read more about other people's experiences.
  11. Welcome to this site@Elin WI'm also still relatively new to the aromantic (and ace) community. Hopefully you can figure out what works best for you here.
  12. You're right. I still feel weirded out by the word, especially when my Dad uses it, even though I know that he just wants to tease me in a funny way. He's always been like that. When I was 12 y.o. and we still had cable telephones, a boy from school called me and my family was all excited about witnessing my "first sprout of love". My Dad was like "Oh, is this your boyfriend?" and so on, while I was just standing there, regretting that this guy got my phone number. This might have annoyed most teens, but to aroace-me this just dealt double the damage. No guy has ever called me on my home number again after that. Sorry for making such a big deal out of it. Am I taking these kinds of things too seriously?
  13. I think searching for sad songs that don't talk about romance is a good idea, so tried to find some myself, gotta admit that it did prove to be quite difficult. Here's a list of what I found, though I'm not sure whether some do talk about romantic love or not (for me they don't ;-) ) Not sure if they suit your taste, but here I go: Jack Savoretti -Lucy / Mother / Russian Roulette TAL - Une mère, un père I-Exist - A lifetime Paramore - We are broken RED - Hold me now Skillet - Would it matter Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence Poets of the Fall - Given and Denied Nightwish - The Crow, the Owl and the Dove Kansas - Dust in the Wind
  14. I'm feeling the same way. It also reduces the search for a partner to its most primitive and shallow form. Maybe that's why this question makes me more upset than others.
  15. Congratulations! I have high hopes that my older brother and his girlfriend will solve that for me soon. Ah, this is really too funny. But honestly, they might just as well ask me about my pray pattern. ;-) Thx for telling me, gonna change that right away haha. (My smartphone keyboard does not have English, so I write from German...It's actually a wonder that I don't make more mistakes)
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