roboticanary

I relate to the experience of pushing people away and I definitely relate to having very few friends. Certainly 2020 has hit me with a feeling of loneliness from the few friends I have, but usually I get through alright.

I love that the journey to finding out I am aro has led me to interesting thoughts on friendship and the weight put on people by our ideas of love and what a relationship would do. If I wasn't aro I would likely never have heard of the idea of amatonormativity for example, despite it explining so many things even for people who aren't aro. I probably wouldn't have heard of relationship anarchy either, or basically any idea of how to live life besides grow up, get married, have a couple of kids. Also while there is a cost to being single it is freeing to be in control of my own income in way which is not possible in a relationship. I can make the financial sacrifices I want to save money if I am comfortable making them without worrying about whether someone else would agree to that. Similarly anything I get as a luxury is defined by what I want, I don't have to worry about being in a relationship with someone and having to come to agreement over what we are allowed to get.

finally got around to reading this, very good find there Holmbo.

just had a look. According to wikipedia, which as we all know is never wrong, they sing: Once he hears to his heart's content, sails on, a wiser man.We know all the pains that the Greeks and Trojans once enduredon the spreading plain of Troy when the gods willed it so—all that comes to pass on the fertile earth, we know it all! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siren_(mythology) even if I wasn't starving that would be a tempting option. maybe the sirens could offer aro icecream

Theres plenty of war based movies which as far as I remember have little romance, focusing instead on the relation between soldiers. for example Saving Private Ryan comes to mind, it ends with Ryan standing by his wife but it is not about romance but rather he asks her if his life was worthy of the sacrifice made to save him. When done well war based films are my favourite alternative to romance since rather than just not having romance they offer another form of relationship which is seen as at least as powerful and important. On a completely different note, as far as I remember four lions doesn't have much in the way of romance, if i remember right someone gets squirted with water pistols for keeping his wife in a small room and that's about the closest it gets to acknowledging romance.

welcome more animals is always great, axolotls are insanely cute creatures and cats are the best (according to my family cat)

I swear I remember seeing a discussion on this from somewhere, but generally what they offer is not physical, they offer Odysseus truths. It was only later the story was made more about love and implied sex.

Hi, welcome fair enough for going with aroflux, hope having a look on here will help you find out about yourself.

Wow I love my rpg group, I've heard a fair few stories here and on another thread of these games having romance forced into the story. just a couple of days ago we were running through a story of politics in whatever generic fantasy kingdom we inhabit and were faced with a problem of getting our party in with the ruling faction, we needed help to defeat a necromancer nearby. The story seemed to be set up with romance as a possibility, some characters we could seduce. instead we went completely away from what our GM had in mind and started a revolution, he just rolled with it. I suspect this was meant to be a minor sidenote to the story but instead of a dull romance we have revolution and a good chance of dying before we even start what we were supposed to. I feel so lucky I am with a group of people who, although they are alloromantic, don't really want to go down the romantic route if there are other options around.

cool, hope you get enough responses

I cannot give much advice unfortunately, however what I will say is this. That behaviour is abusive. Plenty of abusers will act nice sometimes or put up a front to make you doubt yourself.there is no doubt that what you have described is abuse, there is no defense of 'but it rarely happens', abuse is abuse. I do not know why this is the only site you have access to now but when you can, if you feel safe to do so, make a point to find out for where you are what forms of child protection are available and how to contact them, also what organisations are around that offer advice and support. I have no idea what these would be as I do not know where you are but if you are safe to do so, find this out and at least then you will know what your main options are. I cannot know your situation well enough to tell you what to do, however understanding what you can do should be useful.

I'm around manchester at the moment, so not that far away. This sounds like a really cool idea.

Hi can I just ask, is this survey for anything, say a piece of research or a school/uni project. It would be interesting to know what will happen to the results.

sure. I don't know if there is a better term for the sort of relationship you have, but it is a valid relationship so why not take the term. Maybe you will find a word that fits better in the future, if so great. If not, no worries.

To be honest it is not that I fear dying alone in itself but that I fear if my death is painful then dying alone will make it worse. If I were with someone they might call an ambulance, I have a chance of getting some drugs to numb the worst of the pain. Even if not I could at least die with a comforting voice and someone trying to make my last moments less unpleasant. If I die alone then my big fear is that it will be a long, painful experience as there is no-one to help ease that. I could be collapsed on the floor for hours, maybe over a day slowly dying. no numbing the pain, no comfort. Hopefully if I do live alone I notice something is wrong and call an ambulance before but I fear I won't.

well done, it isn't easy to do that so good on you for getting the courage.

Hi, Sounds like a good life, psychopathology does still sound fascinating, and probably less dangerous than trying to study psychopaths. also awesome you have got into D&D, creative roleplay is a really interesting way to explore your identity (and just good fun)

wow, thank you everyone. I have plenty to listen to now. You people are awesome. Also really cool that I am being reminded of musicians that I really should listen too more, it's been a while since I listened to Linkin Park and absolutely ages since I last heard any Dick Gaughan.

Hi Oh god that tradition. thankfully my parents have pretty much given up asking about that sort of thing with me but I remember that sort of thing being really frustrating. anyhow, welcome. let your hair down as much as you are comfortable with, we don't bite here.

1. as already said, you are not too young. 2. romantic attraction is not wanting to spend time with someone. I want to spend time with my dad. Its fine that you want to spend time with her and not be romantically attracted. It might be worth loooking deeper into types of attraction, for example seeing if how you feel is a better fit with how people describe aesthetic attraction or alterous attraction. If you can find a term that better decribes how you feel than romantic attraction that might help.

two cats, one amusingly lazy and one full of mischief, mainly he would open doors by jumping on them, I still remember seeing him hanging forlornly from the handle of a locked window and slowly falling off. Lazy cat once tried to convince me he had caught a sparrowhawk which had clearly just crashed into a house. I went outside and he was sitting there all proud like 'look human, behold my amazing hunting skills' I also had one rabbit who was so calm back when i was a crazy toddler, and my little brother had a pet hamster who managed to escape into the cavity walls of the house for about a week, we had to catch him when he snuck out to nab some chocolate from the kitchen. As for plants, my nan was a keen gardener and I have a few plants around that she gave me over the years. I keep a money plant on my desk which she gave me when I started uni. Lots of food plants as well. when i was very young my grandad put two small planters in his garden and set them as mine and my brothers, every time we went round we would check on the plants, water them and take care of them. we would grow some strawberries and a few vegetables, usually carrots and beetroot.

Welcome sounds like arocalypse should be a good place to look at that confusion. hope you find what you are looking for.

Hi, welcome. with all those things it sounds like you are keeping yourself busy. also, stressful but interesting, honestly that's a great description.

One thing I quite like now and then is sad music, music with more downbeat themes. However at the moment what keeps happening is I look for a list, or pull up a playlist and it is just all romantic. all heartbreak. These songs just dont do anything for me, and i suspect they never will. I have really got into listening to folk songs about war, e.g. green fields of france, that sort of thing, because I struggle to find anything to grab that urge for sad music. But I would like to know songs from a wider range of genres that allow me to scratch that itch. So does anyone have any recommendations for downbeat music about subjects like close friends or family.

in fiction: Witches Abroad - Terry Pratchett (honestly if i was honest i would just list every Pratchett book and let this comment stretch for miles) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (nother good one for humour, and I am a sucker for stories about space) non fiction: Lore of the Land - Jacqueline Simpson and Jennifer Westwood (A reference of english folk stories, one that I dip into very often, I would also recommend Jacquline Simpson's folklore of the discworld book she did with Terry because more discworld makes everything better) The Death and Life of Great American Cities - Jane Jacobs (because all that time freed up by not caring for romance is best served reading books about city planning in a different country from me over half a century ago. seriously though, it is a fascinating book)