roboticanary

Hi as Erederyn says, there are plenty of threads here for people questioning. If aroace sounds right for you now, go with it. from the way you describe finding out about the term asexual it sounds like you really connected with the idea. also your profile pic is amazing. love the adorable kitty tower.

There is a lot of odd ideas directed at the family of a romantic partner that I will just never get. For my case as a man I have heard the following about any potential romantic partners in a 'traditional' heterosexual relationship. * when I was young, the idea that 'her dad' would effectively be a judge of my masculinity and if I wasnt good enough then things would go bad. Jokes about beating up potential suitors was not uncommon. * if i were to get married the bride's mother would be a nightmare or obsessive controller of everything that my to be wife would have to battle in order to get her wedding done how she wanted it. * after that the bride's mother would then be the mother in law. various media have given me an idea of the mother in law as a mooch or as a permenant complainer who will never accept anything you do, or just as a figure of contempt. Like the old koke The wife’s Mother said, “When you’re dead, I’ll dance in your grave.” I said: “Good, I’m being buried at sea.” I get that some of it, especially on the mother in law side, is said in jest. However it seems really odd to me that there was always this underlying idea that the family of any potential partner was some sort of hostile force. They are there to inconvenience me, size me up and generally should care more about appearance to them than whether their own daughter is happy.

On a lot of peoples intros there are mentions of enjoying video games, so i wondered what people are interested in at the moment. In my case I am playing a lot of football manager (too much to be honest), and I play a bit of cities skylines when I want something that makes me swear less.

Hi Avis hope you find what you are looking for, you seem to have a good understanding of what options you find likely. If you describe your experience/idea of romance here I am sure there will be a fair few greyromantics who can compare and help you out. Also while no doubt annoying, it is reassuring to meet someone else whos sleep cycle is as dead as mine

Vienna Teng -The Hymn of Axciom

ah, that is something I completely hadn't thought of. I just found out about aromanticism after there was quite a lot of info around so never considered it would be something people would find but dismiss. fair enough. I guess that is something that can't really be solved by just finding out earlier, the experience is useful.

ouch, and multiple as well. I guess a therapist who doesn't get that you are aro might try to look for relationship problems but after you say its not the cause to keep going just sounds horrible. hope you found a better therapist

banana on a pizza?

Same thought here, that if that person hasnt heard of the term aromantic it sounds like a reasonable term to make up. As for the idea of casual sex being different to, say, nonromantic sex I suppose they could be viewed as the same but to me the term casual has always implied a sort of lesser status. like casual as in informal, not really putting much care and attention in. There is a bit of me that prefers the idea of talking about nonromantic sex because in my head it seems like it better understands that I see friends with benefits as genuine friends, people I care about and am in a (nonromantic) relationship with.

I'll be there for you - The Rembrandts yeah I know, its a really cheesy example but I just thought of it and had to add it. (I also really like the lyric 'your love life's DOA' even though it was meant for someone leaving a relationship at the altar)

I found out about the idea of aromanticism whenn I was heading into my mid twenties and looking back, there is a bit of me that wishes I had just known that this was a thing back through my teens. Even if I never told anyone just to have some understanding of what I was experiencing. Anyone else here feeling the same? or wish you could go back and tell your younger self about aromanticism?

Not sure how the old forum did the link but wayback machine seems to have kept a large part of aroplane. some of the links to individual topics are not archived but it seems like a good chunk of it has been preserved depending on which capture you look at.

not sure but from what you say you sound aro to me. That point about enjoying being alone and not wanting to be around one person every day is something I totally relate to. being 22 with only 3 instances where you think you might have had a crush sounds very much like you fit somewhere within aromanticism. certainly most people I knew growing up were firstly quite certain of their crushes and secondly seemed to have quite a few even when in their teens. Anyway, welcome, hope you figure yourself out.

Hi, in my case it was more a slower realisation that I have never had romantic feelings for people, rather than feeling romance in the past but not anymore. I agree that it is freeing to let go of those expectations

meetings, especially now with lockdown I have had far too many pointless meetings. paperwork commuting mornings, especially any time before 8am

Welcome Same as you I remember the feeling that something was wrong with me, it sucks. Good to hear you have found this place.

Hi, it is really interesting to see other peoples experiences of aromanticism. That description of earlier dating followed by not missing romance is very different to how I have thought about things but is something I have ran into a few times here, you describe it very well. hope you enjoy chatting to us.

cheers @Scoop can't believe I missed the pamphlets seeing as I have looked at that site so much. Also the video was really good, cheers for directing me to it.

Lean on me - Bill Withers The boys are back in town - Thin Lizzy (I suppose this one is for a gang but it does give me vibes of seeing old friends again)

Do you have any recommendation for a good short video, flyer, poster or whatever which gets across the basics of aromanticism clearly? Basically I am thinking of telling a few close friends about my aromanticism but I am a bit rubbish when it comes to explaining things concisely. I have came out to one friend and basically ummed and aahd for ages after getting no further than saying I just dont do romance. Looking at how someone else does that is something I think would help, but the aro resources I know of are stuff like this forum and the AUREA glossary of aro terms which doesn't really help with getting a clear structure in my head of how I would tell someone.

I was just about to suggest that as well. What you write sounds very much like aroflux, going from not wanting a relationship to many crushes over a short space of time.

get rid of stuff. OK, this is one I really need to follow more often because my crafting instinct is to horde on the grounds I might be able to make something out of that trash (nope, I won't). but it is so much easier to be organised if you just have less stuff. This goes for work organisation as well, I was much better organised once I got rid of the enormous amount of old notes I had which I never used but needed to move around to find the like three useful things that I always needed to check.

I suppose it is just that sex is a set of actions which I want to do. I could look at someone and think 'I'd tap that', but I wouldn't look at that same person and want a long term relationship with them, or I would want to date them.

Hi As Erederyn said, there are a lot of people here who enjoy writing. There's a whole load of threads about writing and aro characters that have turned up on the forum over the years. hope you find something interesting here.

no worries cheers for the link, that is a really good article