Holmbo

My favorite book is The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin. It's an utopian sci-fi book about a man who lives in a anarchist socialist society and travel to the neighboring planet which society is more like our present one. The language is beautiful and it has interesting philosophical discussions about what freedom is. Although when it comes to recommendations for aromantics my go to book is The long way to a small angry planet by Becky Chambers, Such a cozy book which is all about found family. And the author has made up interesting alien races which she uses to explore ideas gender fluidness, relationships and child rearing.

I'm swedish there's a word Anhörig. Which if literally translated would mean something like bond-belonged. It's usually used to describe relatives but I like that it's kinda open to mean anyone.

I think it's very normal. I've not had that experience myself but I've had other related ones. For example I sometimes feel lost in my life, like I'm fumbling around in a fog, and then I think if only I was allo I'd just follow the allo script of marriage and children and I wouldn't have to think about it is as much. Even though I know that's not actually true.

I like the idea. I might not use it personally though. Maybe there could be some tradition of celebration existing relationships. Kinda like how married people celebrate anniversary. I'm trying to come up with examples but I agree with poster above we'll probably have to make something up.

So we are gods then. ?

For me also it's more about amatonormativity repulsion than repulsion to romance.

Welcome! It's interesting how we each often seem to be more at home with one aspect of our orientation. I'm aro graysexual myself and I find sexuality to be muddy confusion I most often don't want to wade into.

Welcome! I don't have much merch myself except for this shirt which I really like https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/LONGBOW-ARO-by-foxflight/32016679.NL9AC

I feel like this a common theme among aros. The statement that you're ok with being single but you don't want to die alone. What does it even mean? Not wanting to be alone at your deathbed, or not wanting to be alone as one gets older? Or not wanting to be alone if you'd get sick or injured today. Anyways I can't really relate to that fear. But maybe it's just cause I feel like my older days are still so far off. When I get into my sixties I'll befriend some younger people so they can be there for me ?

I'm interested in trying D&D sometime, when my plate is not as full. I'm playing Expanse RPG at the moment and some of the players talk about their D&D experience which makes me curious to try it. It seems like a better game system than Expanse to be honest ?

I've read it now and I liked it ?

Yes, maybe it will help you to use less definite language. Like saying "I don't want to date right now"

@Emerald Cheetah I recently finished loveless and I really recommend it too. I thought it captured so many aspects of aromanticism. And the subplots were fun too.

Love Sarah Dessen! I think it's the coming of age aspects I'm drawn to mostly though. Do you have any favorite of hers? I was at a climate demonstration where someone had made a cover which said "please worry, get active" ?

This always bothered me as a teen. The idea that someone would marry their teenage love seemed ridiculous to me. I don't think that was necessarily because I'm aro that I felt that. It's more that the culture I grew up in assumes people will go through multiple partners and usually not settle down with someone until they're in their late twenties. I remember really liking the ending for the book Unaranged marriage, because in that one (spoilers!) the main character and his GF are broken up at the end but have stayed friends. To me that seemed like the happiest possible solution to a teenage romance.

One word

Maybe you can talk about other "hypothetical people" who might not desire romance ?

I really like Whole again with Atomic kitten even though the lyrics are so cringe.

I wish there was a term that could be used for a committed sexual non romantic relationship. It feels strange to use the term queer platonic relationship for that since most people associate platonic with non sexual.

For me it's the other way around. I'm super sure I've never felt romantic attraction. Sexual attraction on the other hand... So confusing! ? Anyways, welcome!

Kissing is an interesting topic in aspec I think. Some people consider it to be romantic some sexual some, I'm sure, neither. When I was younger I'd use to really enjoy making out. I probably still would, haven't got much opportunity nowadays. But I would get bored if I did it for too long with the same guy. My ideal would just be to dance with someone and make out a bit and then we'd go our separate ways. How do you feel about kissing?

I don't have trouble understanding qpr, but I don't relate to the concept of squish and sometimes I feel left out when people put emphasis on it. Like if someone calls people who don't get squishes aplatonic, as if squish is the only type of platonic attraction that counts.

Does it come up? Or do you mainly discuss it online or in other aro groups?

Sure you should do that. My suggestion is to also add a description about what it means.

Imagine how it must feel for allos who wants a romantic partner but don't find one. Aside from the lack of desired relationship they also have the internal judgement of failure. Of course I'm generalizing since there are aros who desire romantic relationships and allos who are happy single. But when I see my allo friends try over and over again to find someone, and feeling the deadline for having children approaching, I feel bad for them.