arohoneybee

That sounds awesome!

Yeah for sure! ?

I definitely would be interested! My therapist is always telling me to make more aro friends anyway ? Personally, I’m on Eastern Standard Time, and while my schedule varies, I’m almost always available 6pm and after

Yeah I’ve come out to like 4 people, only because I talk to them a lot about serious things and it felt right to tell them (they were all super chill about it). I’ll sometimes come out if I know the person already knows what aromanticsm is, because I really don’t care about people knowing. When it comes to family or people who I think will take it badly, I just say “I’m happy alone” or “I like to focus on school/my career” because they’re more likely to take that answer instead, and truly coming out is very vulnerable. idk if that made sense lol

sometimes i really wish i wasn’t aro. i’m so lonely all the time, and i’ve always found myself wanting a relationship. maybe i want a qpr, i’m not certain. i just wish i could feel romantic attraction, it seems so much “easier” to form meaningful relationships that way. i want someone to live with, to hold my hand, hug, and cuddle me when things get rough. someone to read books to and make hot drinks for. someone for me to support and to support me. someone who will notice when i’m not feeling well. someone, anyone, so that i won’t die alone. i don’t know what to do. i’d love to hear anything anyone has to say on the matter.

I can’t recall ever mentally planning a wedding, I really just assumed I’d have one because “everyone gets married” so of course I would eventually. But it wasn’t never really something I thought about.

I often switch between thinking I want a long-term partnership in the future, and feeling as though I would enjoy life more on my own. How do you feel? Do you want a partnership (romantic, platonic, etc.) or would you rather live by yourself?

I’ve been queerplatonically attracted to my friend for about a year now. When we don’t talk much, it’s easy to ignore, but I really would love a future with her. The problem is, she’s straight and I know for a fact she wants to get married and have kids and such. I obviously will support her in that, and she is clearly in no way obligated to form any sort of relationship with me. However, does anyone have any advice for getting over a plush (queerplatonic crush)? It’s been pretty rough.

I think that if a calm, civil conversation is possible, it would be beneficial closure for the both of you.

Hi! I definitely don’t think you’re too young to start identifying as aromantic. I began identifying as aro/ace at age 15, and now that I’m 18, those feeling still haven’t changed. But just remember, even if you no longer feel a connection to the orientation for whatever reason, it’s not a big deal. Orientations can be confusing and if a-spec is a stepping stone on your way to finding out how you prefer to identify, that’s absolutely okay! On that note, the way you describe your feelings for your friends sounds like a common aro experience, and if it were me, I’d say it was a squish. You also said you didn’t necessarily find her aesthetically attractive, and I wanted to point out that, while common, it isn’t always present in romantic attraction. Yes, romantic attraction does include wanting to spend time with the person, but so do platonic attractions. The way my allo friends and family have described romantic attraction is as follows: There is a certain infatuation that overcomes you regarding the person you are attracted to. You cannot get them out of your mind, to the point where it can become annoying. Many people will fantasize about their crush, usually in scenarios that involve kissing, cuddling, dating, flirting, and sometimes even marriage and kids. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re feeling romantic attraction if you experience any of those things just listed. To be completely honest, most alloromantic people describe romantic attraction as something you just “know” is romantic. An inherent knowledge that you have a crush on the person. Because of this, my general aromantic rule of thumb is, if you don’t “know”, then it’s probably not romantic. Also, if you’re panicking that it’s a crush, then it’s probably not lol.

Burned Out - Dodie Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran The End of All Things - Panic! At the Disco I Found - Amber Run (could be interpreted as found family) When the Party’s Over - Billie Eilish Neon Gravestones - Twenty-One Pilots Feel Something - Bea Miller Antidote - Faith Marie Anyone - Demi Lovato Heavy - Linkin Park Brother - Kodaline Panic Room - Au/Ra Somebody Else - flora cash (could be interpreted as platonic) I have a pretty pop-centered taste in music, so these might not work as well for you as they do for me, but I thought I’d offer my favorites that aren’t explicitly romantic

wow you actually put it into words. i honestly didn’t think anyone else felt like this. i adore the way you phrased this, especially the last paragraph. i really needed to hear this. thank you for this post ❤️

I absolutely understand this. I’m aroace, and accepting that I was ace was so much easier than accepting that I was aro, because sex in general never appealed to me like the “true romantic love” did. Getting over the hatred I had of myself because I couldn’t feel romantic love took years, and, honestly, I’m still working on it. But, you deserve to love yourself for who you are. It will get better and it will get easier, with time if nothing else. I don’t know if this is something you relate to, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

If I am a twin, how should I answer this? I am technically older by a few minutes, but I don’t think that really matters.

cw: talk of depression & internalized arophobia I don’t know if this is the right topic to write under, but it was my best guess. I just started crying because I saw a TikTok of someone simply making hot chocolate, but for some reason, it made me think about how I’ll never have someone to make hot chocolate for, if that makes sense? Ever since I was a small child I had been fed stories from movies and books and tv shows which all made it seem like being in love and getting married and just having a romantic relationship in general was the key to true happiness, and, since I can’t feel romantic love, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever truly be happy. I used to have fantasies, especially in my early teens when my depression started, that I would meet a boy and he would make everything better. Finding out I was aro was like a death sentence. I know, logically, that a romantic partner would not pull me out of my depression, and that even if I wasn’t aro, entering into a relationship with my mental state would not be healthy. Sometimes I still wonder if it would make life easier, though. Does anyone else feel like that? If so, do you have any advice on overcoming it?