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What is your ideal living situation?


Holmbo
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When I imagine my ideal living situation I think of something almost like a nunnery. Not the religious part because I'm an atheist. But everything else. The community, no romantic partners, not many possessions, being devoted to helping people, communal activities. Also I wouldn't like the place to be isolated in some calm country side like most cloisters seems to be. It should be in the middle of the city. We could buy a whole apartment house and combine all the flats. And the bottom floor could be a café we would take turns running and host different events in.

 

How would you like to live if given the choice about everything?

 

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Sounds pretty rad, where do I sign? :D

 

No, but seriously, I reckon this is why a lot of people miss the university setup so much and look back on it so fondly. Aside from it just being their memories of youth, it's the only real chance most of us in this culture will get to experience any mode of communal living in the manner you described.

 

I strongly suspect (and have for a while now) that I'm not really looking for the standard co-habitation with romantic partner + kids deal - and what you describe sounds so much more appealing. I think it's just a matter of falling in with the right group of people in real life and making it happen. Although I would anticipate legal obstacles being thrown up against these sorts of choices, as our society isn't set up to accommodate them at all (re. that, have you read Elizabeth Brake's book Minimizing Marriage? Not got around to it yet, but it sounded interesting based on her podcast).

 

Perhaps forums like this one can help get something started in society?

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7 minutes ago, NullVector said:

Sounds pretty rad, where do I sign? :D


I'll let you know when I have the money. Unless you have some millions lying around?

 

11 minutes ago, NullVector said:

I strongly suspect (and have for a while now) that I'm not really looking for the standard co-habitation with romantic partner + kids deal - and what you describe sounds so much more appealing. I think it's just a matter of falling in with the right group of people in real life and making it happen. Although I would anticipate legal obstacles being thrown up against these sorts of choices, as our society isn't set up to accommodate them at all (re. that, have you read Elizabeth Brake's book Minimizing Marriage? Not got around to it yet, but is sounded interesting based on her podcast).


There might be some juridical obstacles to it but I also think there could be upsides to the fact that it's not common. Large apartments have a much lower prize per square meter than smaller ones. So if you buy a large apartment together you get more for less.

I haven't read that book. Maybe I'll check it out. What's her podcast called?

 

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I think I'd like to be on my own, with possibly some cats or a dog if I'm lucky enough to have my actual own place or somewhere I'm allowed to have pets. At most I'd have a room mate, but currently I'm not interested in shacking up with another person, unless it's to help with living costs or something. I need a lot of alone time.

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In an ideal situation, I'd live with my best friend in an apartment that was extremely messy cause we're both pigs. And we'd have a bunch of pets. And probably order pizza every day since we both suck at cooking.

 

Truly living the life.

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I'd love a small place of my own, with two bedrooms. The second bedroom would be a video game room and where my tv and couch goes, while the lounge room would house my beautiful bird that I plan on getting, as well as being a large practice room with a couple of beanbags and a coffee table off to the side.

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10 hours ago, aussiekirkland said:

I'd love a small place of my own, with two bedrooms. The second bedroom would be a video game room and where my tv and couch goes, while the lounge room would house my beautiful bird that I plan on getting, as well as being a large practice room with a couple of beanbags and a coffee table off to the side.

Having a room just dedicated to video games is the best idea ever.

 

I would put a playstation, Xbox, VR headset, various gameboy/DS/3DS stuff there. And of course a gaming PC. My dream room xD

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Either have a nice decent sized beach shack on a decent sized bit of land so I have a nice backyard, maybe grow some herbs and maybe vegies, live by myself, or live a little further inland, have a big property and have several sheds to do some project stuff in, grow lots of vegies.

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I want to live with friends who understand me and will never leave me... I don't even care where, or if we have nearly nothing...

 

But I'd like a nice place with a huge room all to myself that I can fill with desks and racks and lots of big monitor screens for gaming and multitasking. Someplace close to a forest, with a lake or river nearby as well, and lots of animals around. And a skate park all to myself. :P

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I'd love to have something akin to what I have now, but with closer friends and more rooms! 

My ideal place would be an apartment at the top of a tall building, so we can use the roof as a garden/outdoor place in the summer and I want a shed for crafting and home-work up there!. Everybody gets their own rooms (however many they need!) and then there's one giant room for everybody to sit in, work, party or relax (maybe with some form of internal partitions between work&fun)! Everybody in the apartment would contribute something unique, that makes the whole living experience harmonic. Like, my roomie right now is really into plants, so she greens-up our balcony (with tomatoes and pumpkins xD) or the guy from the married couple I'm friends with really loves his kitchen, so that'd be his domain. Personally, I'd like to set up a server and internal network, so that everybody has a workplace in their own rooms, as well as in the living room and they can chose to work side by side with the other flatmates or stay in their rooms to concentrate without having to worry about data transfers. Of course I'd like the same for entertainment. Linking up everything so everybody can play games/listen to music or stream some Youtube or Netflix or whatever everywhere in the apartment. Just watched somethign awesome in your room and want to share it with the people in the living room? Just broadcast it to the TV! I'd need some Chromecasts and a shared Steam Library with every account in the house so everything is connected and separated, both digitally and physical, at all times. Everybody gets to live the way they prefer to, but we'd still live together and support each other like family.

I wouldn't want it to get to big though, maybe 4-5 people max (wouldn't wanna exceed the limit of shared accounts on steam :rofl:) . Ideally the building would be in a walk-able city.

Also pets! Lot's of pets plz =D I want a dog AND a cat at all times xD 

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7 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

I want to live with friends who understand me and will never leave me... I don't even care where, or if we have nearly nothing...

 

But I'd like a nice place with a huge room all to myself that I can fill with desks and racks and lots of big monitor screens for gaming and multitasking. Someplace close to a forest, with a lake or river nearby as well, and lots of animals around. And a skate park all to myself. :P

Well, I wouldn't really need the skate park or animals, but it sounds awesome!

I have to admit that I would rather have stuff and live alone, than have nothing but live with friends though...

But otherwise I absolutely agree~

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Medium sized city, so everything can be reached on foot, but with a big city being 1-2 hours away by public transportation. 

A big, relaxed household, preferably a building reclaimed, redesigned by us, some sort of hundertwasserhaus like thing.

 Preferebly with other artist type, queer people, similar world views and down to earth personalities. 3-5 people would be ideal, a cat and maybe a small herb garden on the balcony.

Separate rooms for everyone, but we could do social stuff like movie nights, cooking together or going out for a drink...

 

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I would like to live in a town with good healthcare, close to the city so I could easy go to party and where stuff is happening, but also close to the nature when I need a break. 

I would like some pets a cat or rats, and either live alot in my very small room or in a bigger apartment with one or a few good friends, probably also someone who is queer as well. regardless of that I would like to have a comunity of good friends I can see on regular basic and have a good time with. 

I would like to have intimate friendships, sexual friendships, friends I can travel with, and in short all type of friends and I wouldnt feel alone.

 

 

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I miss college dorm living quite a bit. I didn't even mind having a roommate and such a small personal living space. I could go downstairs to get a decent meal from the cafeteria without having to cook. I didn't own or need a car. If I was bored, I could go down the hallway and see who had their door open as an invitation to come visit. More often than not, that lead to a fierce game of Mario Smash Brothers or Golden Eye. Since there was a lot of fluctuation in the population, people were much more open to forming new friendships, which I really miss. There was no pressure to spend lots of time together, and you could go to your room and close the door if you needed privacy. And, no children around either! To me, that was the perfect setup. @Holmbo's nunnery suggestion is pretty similar to what I would want today, but I have no idea how that could come about.

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I want my own TARDIS. I could be anyone's next door neighbor! I like the idea of being nomadic, but I also like having a familiar place I can come back to and store my stuff in. A caravan or something like that could work, but travelling would take time and effort.

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8 hours ago, brsajo said:

I want my own TARDIS. I could be anyone's next door neighbor!

Space for any guests to stay and interact as much or little as is mutually agreeable.
Together with being able use the architectural reconfiguration system to create any desired rooms.

Must have cats.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So, some of you posting here (e.g. @Holmbo, @Kojote, @Cassiopeia@Blue Phoenix Ace?) might be interested in reading about Baugruppen (lit. 'building groups' - for 'DIY' urban co-housing projects in Germany)

 

Intro:

http://grist.org/cities/i-want-to-live-in-a-baugruppe/ 

(N.B. some of the links in this article are no longer active - but they link to posts now available on theurbanist.org, as linked below)

 

More details, with some real world examples:

https://www.theurbanist.org/category/baugruppen/ 

 

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Content warning: more random thoughts inbound! Potential for off-topic-ness!!

So, I read this as well and it got me thinking about broadening the discussion here a little...

 

The article talks about how the basis for friendship is repeated, spontaneous encounters; and how much the scope for this tapers off as we get older. Of course it's reinforced by amatonormativity / the romance > friendship hierarchy, which gets discussed a lot here; but also by urban planning decisions, which don't (at least, not that I've seen). I mean, you could see the latter as just an extension or implication of the former, but I think there's more to it than that... 

 

@Holmbo, I read 'urban planner' on your profile, so this might be a fun question for you (and something you've likely spent time thinking about already). So, assuming budgets, planning permission and legal issues in general, etc. weren't an issue, what sorts of cities have you dreamed about? In terms of providing increased scope for communal spaces and the repeated spontaneous interactions that facilitate friendships forming throughout adult lifetimes. Imagine you were placed in a sort of Inception-like urban-architectural dream-scape (seen the movie?) - what would you build?!

 

One more thing: I think a big issue with us living in such a market-dominated society is this: markets provide a mechanism to meet demand (and minimise transaction costs) for acts of individual, private consumption (private, one-to-one, one-off, buyer-seller transactions). But they don't really provide a mechanism to meet demand (and lower transaction costs) for acts of collective consumption (community-level, many-to-many, longer term transactions, potentially involving ongoing, democratic deliberation and planning). We rely on government bureaucracies instead, to provide some of the latter; but they do it really imperfectly, for all sorts of reasons, and it seems like the scope of what they can do is being continually eroded by the same market pressures anyway. 

So, that can tend to lead to societies where, at the city-level, communal spaces etc. are massively under-supplied, relative to the demand that would actually exist for them, were there any effective mechanisms to actually realise that demand. But, as it's sort of futile to make demands you have no realistic expectation of having met, people learn to revise their expectations away from those demands and instead demand only the sorts of things the existing market mechanisms can supply. Their desires and tastes get cultivated in that direction and away from more 'communitarian' wants. It's a bit like what Aldous Huxley has one of the World Controllers say in Brave New World: "People are happy now; they get what they want, and they never want what they can't get." 

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