Things you've never understood about romance

[TheApothiAroace]

What I don’t understand is how people can just look at someone and go “Oooo I like them.” They don’t even know their personality, like they could be a complete jerk yet you want to go out with them before getting to know them. 
 

Can anyone explain why people are like this? Anyone?

 

 

Oh sweet, first on page 12.

Edited June 21 by TheApothiAroace

[HelloThere]

4 minutes ago, TheApothiAroace said:

What I don’t understand is how people can just look at someone and go “Oooo I like them.” They don’t even know their personality, like they could be a complete jerk yet you want to go out with them before getting to know them. 
 

Can anyone explain why people are like this? Anyone?

 

 

Oh sweet, first on page 12.

I honestly don’t know, it’s kinda funny that people do that but also it’s kinda a bad idea. Maybe because… wow I can’t think of anything. I legitimately don’t know.

[TheApothiAroace]

8 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

I honestly don’t know, it’s kinda funny that people do that but also it’s kinda a bad idea. Maybe because… wow I can’t think of anything. I legitimately don’t know.

The best I can think of is just classic human stupidity

[HelloThere]

2 minutes ago, TheApothiAroace said:

The best I can think of is just classic human stupidity

I mean when I really try to think of a logical reason why someone would want to date off of looks, I can’t find anything. It’s just stupidity. I mean I can feel aesthetic attraction but it’s often weak. 

[TheApothiAroace]

10 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

I mean when I really try to think of a logical reason why someone would want to date off of looks, I can’t find anything. It’s just stupidity. I mean I can feel aesthetic attraction but it’s often weak. 

I just confirmed with an allo friend, and he said that it’s “Because they look nice.” So what I’m taking from that is that it’s because they find them aesthetically attractive.

[HelloThere]

Just now, TheApothiAroace said:

I just confirmed with an allo friend, and he said that it’s “Because they look nice.” So what I’m taking from that is that it’s because they find them aesthetically attractive.

So it’s not romance? And even then I never once thought “yeah I wanna take this person out to dinner”. I just view people like paintings, I’ll look back occasionally but not much else.

[illumi]

atp this should be pinned bc this thread is p interesting. but i never understood why romance is so prioritized. yes; it could be the fact that u wont have children w ur friends but instead w romantic partners. but in the end its just a label thats socially constructed. social constructs r extremely powerful on our psyche but i just never felt that affected by its relationship aspect ig

[HelloThere]

9 hours ago, LIVI0 said:

atp this should be pinned bc this thread is p interesting. but i never understood why romance is so prioritized. yes; it could be the fact that u wont have children w ur friends but instead w romantic partners. but in the end its just a label thats socially constructed. social constructs r extremely powerful on our psyche but i just never felt that affected by its relationship aspect ig

I never understood why that was everything to people of whenever the main character of a movie lost it whenever they were broken up with. I mean don’t they have more to live for than… exchanging spit? I mean I’m far from calling that a bad thing I just don’t understand it. Like I generally viewed relationships as a social tool for reproduction and emotional connection. I never knew that the main goals for people were to kiss or have s*x, that’s not the reason I’d ever be in one.

On 1/13/2023 at 2:26 AM, hemogoblin said:

Didn't understand this even when I experienced romantic attraction! Even less so when someone gets a whole portrait of another person tattooed on them. It's just.... Not for me.

.

Myself, I never understood the emphasis on anniversaries. Especially people who did several monthiversaries. Especially people who kept track of first date, first kiss, first time having sex, etc. So many dates to keep track of! I'm just not really a time-oriented person. Wasn't important to me even when I was dating.

Ikr! I mean I forget my birthday is coming up sometimes, how am I supposed to remember that crap?! No thanks, I’m good.

On 1/9/2020 at 10:24 AM, Kallie said:

I don’t get how some people really hate their exes and that it’s considered to be okay. It’s understandable to hate someone who turned out to be terrible once you got to know them better, but even the happiest couples end up like this sometimes, and I just don’t understand why you can’t remain friends after a break up if you used to enjoy your each other’s company so much. 

Oh neither can I, their reasoning is dumb, I mean this person isn’t often a horrible person, they’re just done dating. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends right? I mean that just feels… mean not to at least stay friends. And then after the breakup people are crying their eyes out everytime they visit a place where they were a couple. Is it THAT strong for people? 

On 12/6/2021 at 5:55 PM, roboticanary said:

Just recently I was with a few friends, one who was an older straight married guy. The guy started cracking jokes about marriage being rubbish and his wife being controlling and we just looked at home like he was mad.

This seems to be something that happens a lot in a sort of 'are the straights ok' kind of thing and I can never understand it.

Why would you spend so much time joking about the relationship you put the most time and effort into being crap.

I know right! I mean that’s a rather wreck less move, he can’t just say that without seeing people look at him weird. I mean the thing is that in some ways it is true but dang, he volunteered for that, it’s his fault too.