TheApothiAroace Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 (edited) What I don’t understand is how people can just look at someone and go “Oooo I like them.” They don’t even know their personality, like they could be a complete jerk yet you want to go out with them before getting to know them. Can anyone explain why people are like this? Anyone? Oh sweet, first on page 12. Edited June 21, 2023 by TheApothiAroace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 4 minutes ago, TheApothiAroace said: What I don’t understand is how people can just look at someone and go “Oooo I like them.” They don’t even know their personality, like they could be a complete jerk yet you want to go out with them before getting to know them. Can anyone explain why people are like this? Anyone? Oh sweet, first on page 12. I honestly don’t know, it’s kinda funny that people do that but also it’s kinda a bad idea. Maybe because… wow I can’t think of anything. I legitimately don’t know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApothiAroace Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 8 minutes ago, HelloThere said: I honestly don’t know, it’s kinda funny that people do that but also it’s kinda a bad idea. Maybe because… wow I can’t think of anything. I legitimately don’t know. The best I can think of is just classic human stupidity 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 2 minutes ago, TheApothiAroace said: The best I can think of is just classic human stupidity I mean when I really try to think of a logical reason why someone would want to date off of looks, I can’t find anything. It’s just stupidity. I mean I can feel aesthetic attraction but it’s often weak. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApothiAroace Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 10 minutes ago, HelloThere said: I mean when I really try to think of a logical reason why someone would want to date off of looks, I can’t find anything. It’s just stupidity. I mean I can feel aesthetic attraction but it’s often weak. I just confirmed with an allo friend, and he said that it’s “Because they look nice.” So what I’m taking from that is that it’s because they find them aesthetically attractive. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 Just now, TheApothiAroace said: I just confirmed with an allo friend, and he said that it’s “Because they look nice.” So what I’m taking from that is that it’s because they find them aesthetically attractive. So it’s not romance? And even then I never once thought “yeah I wanna take this person out to dinner”. I just view people like paintings, I’ll look back occasionally but not much else. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
illumi Posted June 23, 2023 Share Posted June 23, 2023 atp this should be pinned bc this thread is p interesting. but i never understood why romance is so prioritized. yes; it could be the fact that u wont have children w ur friends but instead w romantic partners. but in the end its just a label thats socially constructed. social constructs r extremely powerful on our psyche but i just never felt that affected by its relationship aspect ig 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted June 23, 2023 Share Posted June 23, 2023 9 hours ago, LIVI0 said: atp this should be pinned bc this thread is p interesting. but i never understood why romance is so prioritized. yes; it could be the fact that u wont have children w ur friends but instead w romantic partners. but in the end its just a label thats socially constructed. social constructs r extremely powerful on our psyche but i just never felt that affected by its relationship aspect ig I never understood why that was everything to people of whenever the main character of a movie lost it whenever they were broken up with. I mean don’t they have more to live for than… exchanging spit? I mean I’m far from calling that a bad thing I just don’t understand it. Like I generally viewed relationships as a social tool for reproduction and emotional connection. I never knew that the main goals for people were to kiss or have s*x, that’s not the reason I’d ever be in one. On 1/13/2023 at 2:26 AM, hemogoblin said: Didn't understand this even when I experienced romantic attraction! Even less so when someone gets a whole portrait of another person tattooed on them. It's just.... Not for me. . Myself, I never understood the emphasis on anniversaries. Especially people who did several monthiversaries. Especially people who kept track of first date, first kiss, first time having sex, etc. So many dates to keep track of! I'm just not really a time-oriented person. Wasn't important to me even when I was dating. Ikr! I mean I forget my birthday is coming up sometimes, how am I supposed to remember that crap?! No thanks, I’m good. On 1/9/2020 at 10:24 AM, Kallie said: I don’t get how some people really hate their exes and that it’s considered to be okay. It’s understandable to hate someone who turned out to be terrible once you got to know them better, but even the happiest couples end up like this sometimes, and I just don’t understand why you can’t remain friends after a break up if you used to enjoy your each other’s company so much. Oh neither can I, their reasoning is dumb, I mean this person isn’t often a horrible person, they’re just done dating. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friends right? I mean that just feels… mean not to at least stay friends. And then after the breakup people are crying their eyes out everytime they visit a place where they were a couple. Is it THAT strong for people? On 12/6/2021 at 5:55 PM, roboticanary said: Just recently I was with a few friends, one who was an older straight married guy. The guy started cracking jokes about marriage being rubbish and his wife being controlling and we just looked at home like he was mad. This seems to be something that happens a lot in a sort of 'are the straights ok' kind of thing and I can never understand it. Why would you spend so much time joking about the relationship you put the most time and effort into being crap. I know right! I mean that’s a rather wreck less move, he can’t just say that without seeing people look at him weird. I mean the thing is that in some ways it is true but dang, he volunteered for that, it’s his fault too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kira- Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 (edited) Ik this might just be a me thing, but I feel like a lot of ppl in relationships (mostly younger ppl) can’t stop talking abt their significant other. Like Ik ppl like talking abt stuff they’re interested in or care abt (Ik I’m guilty of this too) but I can choose to not talk abt stuff I’m interested in if I need too. Another thing is how clingy they can be. Like I understand ppl in relationships want to do stuff with their significant others but some of it just feels invasive. Like besides from like 3 ppl i pretty much don’t contact people anymore (besides on here ofc) unless it’s to try to be polite or situational, and here ppl are reorganizing pretty much every aspect of their life to try to stay in contact with their significant other in every way possible. Also the whole “falling asleep on calls”. Like I sort of understand the idea but that’s sort of when I finally get to have some peace and quiet. Edit: and those ppl just decided to cut ties with me so I’m currently not in contact with those ppl either. Edited December 23, 2023 by Kira- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray_acie Posted December 4, 2023 Share Posted December 4, 2023 (edited) I've been a romantic my entire life, but there are lots of things as an aromantic person I def don't understand. and opposite gender partner not wanting you to be friends with people of their same gender. like, one that's abusive, and two, how tf did they meet them then??? you aren't excluded if I would decide to not be friends with guys anymore. butterflies, and getting sweaty palms or feeling nervous. like, that just sounds like being anxious, or sick. doesn't sound pleasant at all. a person being 'the One'. like, you do realize that no one's going to be that person you have in your head, right? and if you're only looking for 'the one' that perfectly fits you, why don't you just say that instead of trying to make every girl/guy seem like it??? Being obsessed with a person and learning things about them without even talking to them, or social media stalking them. like, observing stuff I understand. I know where half of my friend's classes are or building's for certain classes are because I observe them, and just see the direction my friend is gong, but I don't consciously do it, or try to find out things. that's just creepy, straight up. Edited December 4, 2023 by Gray_acie 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen of Spades Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 The classical couple holding hands over a candlelit dinner table while gazing into each other’s eyes with that lovestruck expression. I mean, why can’t I instead just cuddle my partner in the comfort of my house or rest my head on his/her shoulder on a bench in a park at 3 p.m.? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSeeker Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 On 6/21/2023 at 11:37 AM, TheApothiAroace said: I just confirmed with an allo friend, and he said that it’s “Because they look nice.” So what I’m taking from that is that it’s because they find them aesthetically attractive. On 6/21/2023 at 11:39 AM, HelloThere said: So it’s not romance? And even then I never once thought “yeah I wanna take this person out to dinner”. I just view people like paintings, I’ll look back occasionally but not much else. But then what confuses me is why is it called love at first sight?? You don’t love them, you love how they look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 One guy told me he can fall in love with girl who he sees 8 seconds. That's what I don't understand. How can somebody fall in love with somebody who he don't know??? Romantic with candles... Somebody put the candles in all the room and call it romantic and beautiful? It's creepy, you can cause a fire! Breakup... Somebody ends the relationship and he/she is sad like if somebody dies. Why? Just one person disapeared from you'r life (and didn't die). The life continues... or I have just never been really "in love"... People who are still looking for somebody they could date with, and if they can't find anybody, they are sad and hopeless. They can't enjoy the single life, it's sad... "Romantic" dinner in a luxury restaurant. Why? It's just too expensive... These are things I have never understood. And maybe I never will... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kira- Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 (edited) On 6/21/2023 at 12:06 PM, TheApothiAroace said: What I don’t understand is how people can just look at someone and go “Oooo I like them.” They don’t even know their personality, like they could be a complete jerk yet you want to go out with them before getting to know them. Can anyone explain why people are like this? Anyone? Oh sweet, first on page 12. On 1/9/2024 at 4:03 PM, DreamSeeker said: But then what confuses me is why is it called love at first sight?? You don’t love them, you love how they look. my whole class is having an argument about if love at first sight exists right now and it’s hilarious, one allos person in the class was making a point on how (in their words) “it doesn’t exist because that’s physical attraction” and we have an argumentative essay coming up and I know that some people are going to be writing about this now including me. (context we’re about to read Romeo and Juliet and things are getting heated) Edited January 11 by Kira- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helion Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 I don't get people romantacising abusive or toxic relationships. Luckily most only do that in fiction and not actually irl, but I'm genuinly so confused about why people have fantasies about their partners abusing them or being toxic and dismissive to them. Sometimes it's about "I can change them!", sometimes it is literally just about being treated like garbage. Some even go as far as fantasizing about being r*ped, like excuse me what Yes, this was pretty specific, but yknow the thread is already pretty long, so the obvious and semi-obvious stuff was prob alr named long ago 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen of Spades Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 I don’t really understand the sense of all those over-the-top metaphors when expressing your love for someone. “Her eyes make the stars look like they’re not shining.” ”Take my breath away.” Huh? o.O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smac n cheese Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 As someone who's aego and feels strong platonic attraction, there aren't too many things I find confusing about romance, but I don't get why kissing is consider romantic, or why people enjoy it. I've never liked it, and I don't really understand why people would want to touch someone else's lips with theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organs and bone Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 here’s one : I don't quite understand the difference between flirting and being nice? I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raininspring Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 (edited) I personally cannot understand when people don't want to let go of the other person when a breakup occurs. You can't force a person to be happy with you. And if you really "loved" the person as you claim, you should treat the person as an actual human being with feelings who has their own life outside of you. I don't know what it feels like to be that romantically attracted to a person where you feel like you HAVE TO be with them or else it's the end of the world, but I'd like to think if I ever felt like that, an act of actual love would be to want the person to be happy pursuing their own future doing whatever makes them happy. I also don't really get when the significant other becomes the person's whole world and suddenly it's just about pleasing the other person all the time and they forgot what they themselves even want. I hate clingy people so it has repulsed me greatly in the past to see family members like my own brother adhere to his (now ex) significant other's clinginess and demands. Edited February 1 by Raininspring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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