Things you've never understood about romance

[DeltaAro]

Why is it that engagement rings are much more expensive than wedding rings? Shouldn't it be the other way round? Logic???

 

Error 417: Expectation Failed

[Mark]

11 hours ago, DeltaV said:

Why is it that engagement rings are much more expensive than wedding rings? Shouldn't it be the other way round? Logic???

Makes prefect sense if you are selling jewelry. Especially if you can persuade every potential customer to buy.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

19 hours ago, DeltaV said:

Why is it that engagement rings are much more expensive than wedding rings? Shouldn't it be the other way round? Logic???

 

Error 417: Expectation Failed

I guess the way romo people saw it in the past was the engagement ring 'bought' the (usually female) person, hence being expensive and show-off-y; whereas the wedding ring is just a way to 'seal the deal'.

 

Sounds like signing away your soul to me..

[Holmbo]

On 2017-06-06 at 9:26 AM, SamwiseLovesLife said:

I guess the way romo people saw it in the past was the engagement ring 'bought' the (usually female) person, hence being expensive and show-off-y; whereas the wedding ring is just a way to 'seal the deal'.

 

Sounds like signing away your soul to me..

 

As I've understood it the ring was a promise from the man that he intended to marry this woman. An insurance that he really was going to follow through with it and not just change his mind so that she would have lost valuable time (of fertility) on the marriage market. It's kinda gross to keep this going in modern times. Along with the father giving the bride away like some minor in need of a new guardian.

[One-Eyed Jack]

21 minutes ago, Holmbo said:

 

As I've understood it the ring was a promise from the man that he intended to marry this woman. An insurance that he really was going to follow through with it and not just change his mind so that she would have lost valuable time (of fertility) on the marriage market. It's kinda gross to keep this going in modern times. Along with the father giving the bride away like some minor in need of a new guardian.

 

Yet people are returning to such values after decades of shunning them. Shows you what just a few self-seeking, cynical hypocrites in the toxic-left establishment can do: cause the clock to turn back as the majority feel aggrieved and exploited.

[iigolden]

On 4/16/2017 at 11:59 AM, TheGreatUnstitched said:

I will never get how the relationship you have with  some person you started dating three weeks ago takes precedence over friends you've had for years. 

YES!!! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!!

[Mark]

On 16/04/2017 at 7:59 PM, TheGreatUnstitched said:

I do not understand how it's just assumed/expected that two people in a romantic relationship will instantly have a much stronger bond than friendship. Like, I'll be friends with someone for a really long time, put a lot of time and energy into getting to know them because I care about them and then suddenly they start dating someone and their time with that person becomes so much more valuable than their time with me or other friends. Or people who will confide so much in their significant other that they won't share with their friend. I will never get how the relationship you have with  some person you started dating three weeks ago takes precedence over friends you've had for years. 

There's also the way in which alloromantics can be hugely against doing anything romantic coded with friends, even friends they have known for a long time.
Yet can, literally, leap into bed with a complete stranger.
At the same time they might be saying how important "getting to know someone" is...

Even now I kind of understand it this still seems kind of creepy and squicky... It seems backwards and upside down from my PoV.

[Amarill]

On 31. 7. 2016 at 7:17 PM, techno-trashcan said:

Why is it that, once people get into a romantic relationship, they only want to talk to their friends if they're significant other isn't around? Like, why do friends become second best?

 

Yeah, exactly! Thats so not fair. One of my best friends started dating like 4 months ago and I practically haven´t seen him ever since (we used to hang out every weekend).

Why is suddenly some random girl he knows few months more important than 4 years of solid friendship. 

I´m partly mad and partly sad  

[Ace of Amethysts]

That always sucks.

[James White]

I suspect that romantic people in relationships are staying away from their friends for a very specific reason, and it's not a lack of respect. While it's easy to see the societal pressure on people to treat their SO's like royalty above all others, there's another pressure we may be forgetting. I don't think it's just a difference in value between friends and SO's. I think allos are afraid of being awkward or emotional around their friends.

 

At least in America, there is a strong pressure not to display a lot of emotion. Crying, laughing, and even just talking loudly are sometimes seen as sources of embarrassment when we're not in private. I know people who are uncomfortable saying "I love you" in public, even to family. Honestly, I'm one of them. I just don't feel normal enough when I do it, so I don't. That fear of seeming strange (or worse, emotionally exploitable) can't be exclusive to me, can it?

 

Maybe it's a show of weakness or something, but I know I'm not the only one who isn't comfortable giving my full emotional input around other people. Ironically, this is especially true around friends. I watch myself carefully around my friends to be consistent with the image I think they hold of me. It's like bringing someone home to meet your parents. It's stressful because you want to keep both and are afraid of how they'll interact. Even if I were alloromantic, I wouldn't want to bring my SO and friends anywhere near each other. I'm afraid that after that, both parties would see me in a different light. That's not even necessarily bad, but it's weird and different. That makes it scary. It'd be BECAUSE I like them, and because I want them to like me, that I'd leave my friends behind when the SO wanted time with me. 

 

TLDR Version:

Maybe people just aren't comfortable being emotional around people by which they ultimately want to be respected. 

 

 

 

 

[cute kitty Meow! Mewo!]

On 5/23/2017 at 4:01 PM, Ice Queen said:

Everyone says "I love you" when what they mean in reality is "I'm in love with you", so they use three words so unconsciously that they ascribe them a pseudo-meaning, so they not only give birth quite a few of the myths about aromantics, but also manage to trick a bunch of alloromantics into thinking the two notions are one and the same, so they generate nothing but prejudice and chaos.

 

#butterflyeffect #error404

 this is so true it all makes sense now. 

 

wait, no it doesn't, never mind. I'm still confused why people who aren't youre romantic partner care so much about you telling them you love them.

 

but at least some of it is more making sense now... 

[karnzter]

Just because you invited your SO/friend over to your place or the other way around to hangout, it doesn't mean it's also a sorta-prerequisite for a makeout session in the middle of things.

 

Also, I'm not sure if this fits at all, so please forgive me D:

[[Deleted Account]]

I don't understand the whole I hate you! I hate you too! Let's fight! Now let's suddenly start passionately kissing for a couple hours? Am I missing something? 

[SoulWolf]

14 hours ago, QuirkyGeek said:

I don't understand the whole I hate you! I hate you too! Let's fight! Now let's suddenly start passionately kissing for a couple hours? Am I missing something? 

Does that actually happen in reality? I've only seen it on TV...

[Untamed Heart]

I think it does, but even so, IMHO it's a sign of dysfunction in those relationships. I certainly can't imagine people with healthy relationships ending up doing it, at least not outside some kind of role play. I read a letter in the problem page of a newspaper once (my only reason for buying a certain newspaper when I was younger - so stupid it was even more entertaining than Jeremy Kyle sometimes ) from a woman saying she could only enjoy sex with her partner once they'd essentially beaten each other up (apparently it had escalated to the point where they were employing pots and pans from the kitchen and shit like that...)

[The Non-Month May]

why they act like their cat was just stabbed in front of them and then got pepper sprayed in the face

EDIT:

why did I write that

[SoulWolf]

11 hours ago, The Non-Month May said:

why they act like their cat was just stabbed in front of them and then got pepper sprayed in the face

EDIT:

why did I write that

I am curious also...  

Who are 'they'?

[The Non-Month May]

4 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

I am curious also...  

Who are 'they'?

"they" are usually the one portrayed as the female in the relationship when it is broken off. idek, i feel like being salty XD.

I should have been more specific as to what I meant. i was really tired XD.

 

[Skittles87]

I don't understand why romance is considered "girly", e.g. romantic books and movies are marketed pretty much exclusively at women. 

[Mark]

1 hour ago, Skittles87 said:

I don't understand why romance is considered "girly", e.g. romantic books and movies are marketed pretty much exclusively at women. 

It's especially odd when you consider that "asking out" and marriage proposals tend to be expected of men rather than women.

[meesemouse]

Ooh how about when friends tease you about liking someone, and you get flustered and irritated trying to explain that you don't like said person whatsoever. Of course, they take it as you being defensive and therefore you are suddenly ~soooo~ in love with this person. I just don't get how people jump to these conclusions 

[Momo]

1 hour ago, meesemouse said:

I just don't get how people jump to these conclusions

For the same reason that stereotypes are so prolific - eight times out of ten they're right. I just hate how insistent many people are about this stuff in particular.

[hippiecat]

On 29.7.2017 at 9:37 AM, meesemouse said:

Ooh how about when friends tease you about liking someone, and you get flustered and irritated trying to explain that you don't like said person whatsoever. Of course, they take it as you being defensive and therefore you are suddenly ~soooo~ in love with this person. I just don't get how people jump to these conclusions 

 

ohhh i hate this so much. how are you supposed to react if you want to state that you don't like said person? i suppose even ignoring the whole thing would be seen as "proof" of liking someone.

 

(also, i seem to have run into you as well )

[meesemouse]

On 7/30/2017 at 6:33 PM, hippiecat said:

 

 i suppose even ignoring the whole thing would be seen as "proof" of liking someone.

1

Yeah, honestly it's just a huge lose-lose situation. I guess it comes down to hoping that one day, my peers will finally mature. Hah, like that's going to happen 

[Queen of Spades]

I don't understand how on earth it is possible for one to feel a connection to someone they've just met or whom they don't know well and I don't understand why there have to be expectations right from the start. Aaaarrrrghhhh x_x.