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Helion started following Why do some ppl treat aros like this?
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I don't even know what title this will have heh but I wanna share a certain experience. I'm aromantic, big surprise, I know, but I have hardly told anyone about it, just very few of my friends and tbh mostly internet randos (Like y'all) because it's inconsequential. There were a few people (internet randos) who were kind of annoying about me being aromantic. Whenever I said something even remotely positive about a romantic topic, something like a joking "Oh my god, I wanna marry you", "I think fictional couple xy is kinda cute!", "If I was in a relationship with person xy...", etc. these certain people reacted with "Aren't you aromantic? Why are you saying that?" That is... So confusing because jesus, just because I don't feel romantic attraction and don't wanna be in relationships doesn't mean I must be cynical and spiteful towards everything remotely connected to romance?? Why is that an expectation some people have? Ofc feel free to drop your experiences, if you had any in that regard. F to all ace people who experience the same shit with sex jokes as a fellow sex joke enjoyer pfft
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I don't mind elaborating, just saying, this might not be the case at all, I don't know about your particular feelings! But who you are romantically or sexually attracted to can change, actually. Both of those kinds of feelings develop particularly during puberty, which is a gradual process, not just a "click, you are bisexual now!". During puberty you are developping, so it isn't that unlikely that you can change your sexual or romantic orientation as you develop. For instance, I am pretty sure I was alloromantic, I can't be 100% sure ofc, but I do remember fairly vividly having a big crush on a guy at the age of 13. Since the age of 14-16 I believe I developped to be aromantic and started lacking romantic attraction completely. This kinda stuff can just happen during puberty, it's when your body goes through a looot of changes and your hormones just go crazy. It's not impossible to change your sexual or romantic preferences after puberty, though it's much rarer and from my personal experience it tends to not happen for no reason, but is tied to events like for example trauma. Just as a suggestion, maybe that is what you are experiencing! If not, I totally agree with all the other great comments here.
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I'm very surprised no one has mentioned this yet (I think), but Light Yagami from Death Note is 100% aroace. Aromantic because my guy is around SO many gorgeous, beautiful and smart girls, but all he does is use the fact he is handsome to his advantage and never even seemed to consider a relationship. The whole premise of the show at the start is that he is an incredibly smart guy, who is just bored because the world has nothing to offer - Dude could have a relationship anytime he likes, but nope, not even considering it. And when it comes to Misa Amane, he doesn't want to be in a real relationship with her even for the sake of manipulating her (Which would be of great advantage to him), he's so straight-forward about pretending, so yknow, he might be romance-repulsed actually. About the asexual part, first of all dude denies all the advances of Misa, in the situation he was in he might as well spend a night with her, but he doesn't even look tempted a single time or makes any jokes (Unlike L). Plus there was a scene in which he knew people were watching him via cameras, so to cover himself up (He needed a reason why he would be worried about people entering his room) he read adult comics. Dude read them like he was reading the most boring ass science book, the people.who were watching him even pointed out how staged it looked lmao
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Maybe try looking into microlabels, this site has a great list of those! Aromantic doesn't just mean "You feel no romantic attraction ever", it's an umbrella term for lots of different kinds of feelings. Things like demiromantic (You only feel romantic attraction if you are VERY close to someone), cupioromantic (You don't feel romantic attraction, but you don't mind romantic-like relationships) or lithromantic (You like romance in theory, but don't want to actually do anything romantic irl) could be at play here, for example. There are plenty more. And if you find a microlabel that fits you you don't even have to use it specifically, aromantic is still an imbrella term, so it's okay to still use that.
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I see! Ofc you are the one who knows their identity best, I was just sharing my own thoughts. Wish you the best of luck to be comfortable with your identity, it can be a struggle.
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Yup, I do lack that compulsion and I do plan to break off any contact with her as soon as I can, no regrets. Though one thing that does give me doubts is the fact I'm kind of anxious in social interactions and also anxious about big changes, I'm a little worried this will make me hesitate, but I'm totally planning to overcome this because I want that relationship out of my life. I'm honestly happy with the fact I feel no obligation to remain in contact with her; My dad is in a similar situation, he tbh doesn't seem to like his mother at all but stays in contact with her out of a sense of obligation and it just seems to make him miserable.
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What made you question(?) if you were aromantic?
Helion replied to Bumble_Bee_'s topic in Aromantic Relationships
What made me question my own identity was a friend coming out as aromantic. Tbh I feel like I have surpressed the thought of being aromantic because I did have a crush in early puberty (Which means nothing btw people, romantic or sexual attraction can very much change, ESPECIALLY during puberty), but when this close friend openly talked about his feelings it made me think about it and yup. Finally arrived at that conclusion. -
Vatican approves blessings of same-gender couples
Helion replied to DeltaAro's topic in Sexuality and Gender
Not to be a bummer, but it's a reaaaally small step. If you are openly gay or lgbtq+ he approves of still blessing you, yes, but doesn't approve of you being lgbtq+ and I doubt he would encourage blessing you specifically in the context of lgbtq+ (Like blessing a gay marriage). It sure is better than nothing tho, I guess. -
Kind of same, though I'm not non-binary or anything. I'm female, but it's just not a part of my personality or anything really, it's just a fact that I don't care much about. If I were to turn into a man in two seconds I would just keep going like nothing ever happened so to speak lmao I feel like not being girly/manly shouldn't automatically equal being agender necessarily, gender just isn't always important to a person.
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For my mom specifically I feel nothing good, we have a very rough relationship unfortunately. I feel for example platonic attraction to my cousin because we are the same age and have a shared interest in gaming, so we hang out and do fun stuff occasionally. To me it's not a single bit different than a friendship, I just don't feel anything "special" just because she is family, you know? I'd tbh even prefer most of my friends over my cousin because I don't see her that much anymore. I lack big feelings for pretty much all adults in my family tbh because it's pretty much impossible to be friends with them as all of them are significantly older than me and thus have completely different interests (Also most of them come from russia aka grew up in the literal sovjet union, which just makes them SO different from me). Yup, platonic attraction is the only thing I have, heh, didn't think about it before that way.
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Honestly, despite lacking romantic attraction completely I like it, even in a non-sexual context. It has been a while since I kissed someone, but I do remember it feeling good. I'm a very affectionate person overall and tbh I don't think I would mind kissing my friends passionately, though only when I can be certain enough they don't catch feelings or at least understand my aromanticism, otherwise hell nah, I don't wanna ruin perfectly good friendships. Funnily enough I believe my aromanticism makes me MORE willing to do romance-connotated things because they just don't really have any special meaning to me. I would technically not mind kissing, having sex, cuddling, etc. with friends.
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Honestly, I don't like em, I have this one guy I'm friends with and he always calls me "cupcake" for fun, but my anxious ass is way too scared to tell him I don't like it, so here I am lmao I feel like that is at least kinda toed to my aromanticism because it gives me these romantic vibes that I don't really like tbh. I'm romance-neutral, but if people show active romantic interest in me I tend to get repulsed.
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It's not really a sim, but because it's related to the title imma talk about it: Persona 5 was an amazing game, that sorta intends for you to pick your favourite girl from the main cast and romance her. I skipped that cuz I didn't wanna bother and loved all the funny single moments in the game, especially valentine's was hilarious lmao
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Thanks for sharing, too, this was quite interesting actually! Yeah, I've heard of platonic bonds becoming familial bonds, but I've never really experienced that or really believed it was that real outside of fiction because as an afamilial and aromantic all I have are platonic bonds, those are the best to me lmao So yeah, that was insightful!