Aromantism & Polyamory

[Kadence]

  Something I realized some time after figuring out I was aromantic and started to analyze the kind of relationships I wanted instead of the kind society taught me to want, it was not a hard conclusion to come to that I was polyamorous.

  It’s a strange combination if you don’t know about QPRs, and it’s one of those things where I wonder if I’ll ever get more than one QPP at a time. I have a wonderful partner right now and we’ve both expressed a desire to have other partners and/or a polycule, but we’ve yet to find anyone.

  I don’t see it talked about too much (I could always juts be looking in the wrong places) but I wanted to hear about the experience of other polyam aros (a little bit cause I’m curious, a little bit to reassure myself that more than two exist).

[BuySomeCheese]

I identifyed as polyamorous before I found out I was aro, now I use both lol. I definately want more than one QPP in a relationship resembling a polycule, and I hope you and your partner can find other partners that work for you!!!

(Also, love your pfp! I've been trying to get back into Sanders Sides recently but there's just so much for me to catch up on lol)

[alto]

I know, i'm lith and platonically interested in two guys.

[Alexander]

I don't know if there is a term for that but I'm fine with both polyam and monogamous QPRs. Currently I'm in a monogamous one, for now. Maybe our relationship will became an open one in the future, you never know. But now we both are happy as it is.

[Acecream]

I love this

I think I might be polyam (or polyplatonic whatever, but I guess I would feel good in a polyam relationship) but I've still no idea how to find an monogamous qpr so...^^

[eatingcroutons]

On 6/18/2021 at 3:02 PM, Kadence said:

I don’t see it talked about too much (I could always juts be looking in the wrong places) but I wanted to hear about the experience of other polyam aros (a little bit cause I’m curious, a little bit to reassure myself that more than two exist).

You may be interested in these results from a survey that went around late last year - there are definitely more of us out here who identify as aro and poly!

I feel like a key commonality between aro and poly attitudes is pushing back against the amatonormative narrative that we must all prioritise a single romantic relationship over all other relationships in our lives. Before I identified as aro I definitely knew I didn't want to be in an exclusive relationship of any kind, and I know at least one other person on Discord who identified as poly before they knew being aro was a thing.

[Rainy Robin]

Thanks for starting this conversation here @Kadence! I came across a similar discussion of being both aro and polyamorous on AVEN awhile ago but it felt like a lot of people (mostly alloaces) were trying to speak for aros and it felt pretty invalidating to hear them argue that being aro and polyamorous are mutually exclusive. I've found the exact opposite to be true for me, in that I had a similar experience as you when discovering my aro identity. Realizing I'm also polyamorous was a natural progression that came from breaking down amatonormativity in myself as I got more comfortable identifying as aro. 

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I'm absolutely not interested in a QPR or any sort of committed partnership, but I'm definitely polyamorous. Monogamy as a structure, in the end, is nothing but a means to ensure ease of property inheritance via marriage. If I already don't plan on having a committed partnership like that, then why in the world would I need monogamy?

[Holmbo]

I was reading Aro Eros Arrows by Michon Neal who writes a lot about being aromantic and polygamous and how friendship is inherently non monagamous.

[Scoop]

On 6/20/2021 at 4:32 AM, Gabriel14 said:

I identifyed as polyamorous before I found out I was aro

Same! It just made good sense, monogamy has always baffled me. Polyamory and aromanticism create the same sort of freeing feeling in me.

On 6/22/2021 at 2:52 PM, Holmbo said:

Aro Eros Arrows by Michon Neal

I have this book on my bedside table and have been meaning to read it for months. It looks really interesting, I've just been after fiction lately. You liked it? 

[Holmbo]

16 hours ago, Scoop said:

 

I have this book on my bedside table and have been meaning to read it for months. It looks really interesting, I've just been after fiction lately. You liked it? 

I liked it overall but I think it could have been condensed. I

[TripleA]

On 6/20/2021 at 4:16 PM, Alexander said:

I don't know if there is a term for that but I'm fine with both polyam and monogamous QPRs. Currently I'm in a monogamous one, for now. Maybe our relationship will became an open one in the future, you never know. But now we both are happy as it is.

The term is ambiamourous :)

There's a lot of intersections, especially when you consider that non-monogamous and aromantic people are heavily affected by amatonormativity. I labelled myself as polyamourous for a while (as well as polyaffectionate) until I found the term ambiamourous fairly recently. I would be in poly and mono qprs and other non romantic arrangements. My partner and I are mono but we like swinging, although it's hard to find people who aren't just mucking around or are just a single bloke pretending to have a girlfriend. I think I used polyamourous roughly around the time of questioning my romantic orientation in 2019. 

[Scoop]

On 6/24/2021 at 2:10 PM, Holmbo said:

I liked it overall but I think it could have been condensed. I

You get cut off there haha or was that a typo? 

[Holmbo]

On 6/25/2021 at 8:27 AM, Scoop said:

You get cut off there haha or was that a typo? 

Just problems with the text editing. This website has some problems for phones, at least the ones I've had.

[dewy]

I'm not sure if I'm polyamorous but I feel if I ever got in a romantic relationship it'd be good to be in a polyamorous one, because I feel like in a monogamous one I would be hung up on not being romantically attracted much or at all to my partner.