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Jot-Aro Kujo

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Everything posted by Jot-Aro Kujo

  1. You've only been dating this dude for a year? Yeah, I would not do that. Unless there's something seriously messed up about your home life and you need to get out, I wouldn't do something like that. A year isn't a long time to get to know someone at all.
  2. I'd say yes. If the desire is targeted towards specific people and not just like, the concept of being in a relationship, that would generally be considered attraction.
  3. Will the app be inclusive of allosexual aromantics who may be looking for sexual relationships with other aros?
  4. Goth, punk, a little bit of metal, and of course lolita. Though really they're all less "aesthetics" and more subcultures tbh. I'm not into any of them just for the looks, I participate in the philosophy as well.
  5. I mean, the solution is pretty clear, isn't it? If what you're talking about is Christian ideals about sex before marriage, then obviously you're excluded from those values by default. It's not sex "before" marriage if you never get married. Though I gotta say I'm a little confused on what you mean by "traditional cultural/religious background". Those can vary quite a bit... In my religion there really isn't anything saying you can't have casual sex.
  6. Yeah, of course. Far easier than dealing with the harassment and invalidation I'd deal with otherwise. I don't do it often but I'll do it if it gets people to shut up.
  7. Yes, it is important to me. As an aromantic person, I'm generally assumed to be asexual. I am not asexual, and calling myself allosexual allows me to convey that. Why should I call myself "non-asexual"? Why do I need to define my sexuality around asexuality? Plus, frankly, the argument that allosexual is a bad term because (insert reason here) originated with aphobes/exclusionists who wanted to take away the language ace people use to describe their experiences- You can even still find it used "ironically" by aphobes to this day. For YEARS the ace community fought to convince people that "allosexual" is not a dirty word. I find it extremely telling that only once allo aros started using the term to refer to ourselves, suddenly all these aces think it's a term that shouldn't be used anymore... They're just doing the same thing. People see a group they don't like use words that are relevant to them, they decide to take those words away to prevent them from talking about their experiences. This happened to aces, they fought against it along with their allies, and now they're turning around and doing the exact same thing to allo aros because they don't like us. That's all it is.
  8. If you think any kind of intimate relationship has to be romantic, all I can say is: Sorry about the internalized amatonormativity bro, get better soon. (Also might wanna work on the ableism with that “triggered” comment, but hey, one thing at a time.)
  9. Believe it or not, we all do, in a very legal sense. Aromantics are NOT protected under the Equality Act due to its phrasing, and it can be extra difficult to get housing, etc. without a partner. Plus you can't share insurance benefits or certain medical rights with people who aren't your married partner. And asexuality is still considered a mental illness in some places, with some people even being subjected to conversion therapy because of it. Even if people might not walk around calling aspecs slurs on the street, the system is rigged against us and we have no legal protections. At least here in the U.S., anyway.
  10. I definitely identify as queer, and not just because I'm bisexual. Being aro is pretty damn far from the norm in a romance-centric world. (And yes, since you mentioned it, I'm definitely cis- I've put a lot of thought into my gender and I am very much a woman, which coincidentally happens to align with my agab.)
  11. He thinks there's only two genders because he only has two brain cells.
  12. Alright, listen. Ya gotta learn to assert yourself. I've seen a lot of shit in my 23 years as a neurodivergent aro, and the biggest thing I've learned is that you have to speak up for yourself, because keeping quiet when something's bothering you just creates a festering wound that won't get better. Assert your boundaries. Nobody will stop doing something that makes you uncomfortable if they don't know that it does- And if they suspect, they still probably won't until you explicitly tell them to stop. If your friend's behavior makes you uncomfortable, TELL HIM. Tell xem in no uncertain terms, "Hey, I'm sorry but I really don't want a QPR myself, and it makes me uncomfortable when you say these sorts of things" etc., or however you want to communicate your feelings, you know. Just be up front with it. If they still don't stop? Ditch 'em. Good friends respect their friends' boundaries when they've been established, and if this pal of yours won't, then he's a bad friend, plain and simple.
  13. That's me baybeeeeee!! No romo yes homo! I'm sexually attracted to any gender, but romantically attracted to none.
  14. I love how she had no idea what aromanticism was and then immediately went and complained about aros like she's met a ton of them lmao... ok Sounds like she needs to get it together, cause if her emotional state is that dependent on someone she's barely talked to dating her or not... That's not healthy. And either way it sure the fuck ain't your problem. To her I say, get well soon asshole 👋
  15. I "chose" Alphonse Elric as my crush when I was a kid- Meaning, everyone insisted I had to have feelings for someone, and he was a favorite character of mine, so I'd pretend I had a crush on him just to get them to leave me alone. So that I would appear normal. I never actually had any romantic feelings for him.
  16. Oh yeah, I mean, I'm VERY active in the aro community (you've probably seen me around on other platforms). But that doesn't help with the disconnect from the sapphic community at large.
  17. One that actually uses the word "aromantic". That's it. The bar is on the fucking ground and everyone would rather spend their time tunneling under it than making good rep lol
  18. Another bi aro lady, bitchin. Nice to meet you
  19. I'm absolutely not interested in a QPR or any sort of committed partnership, but I'm definitely polyamorous. Monogamy as a structure, in the end, is nothing but a means to ensure ease of property inheritance via marriage. If I already don't plan on having a committed partnership like that, then why in the world would I need monogamy?
  20. You can be whatever you want to be bro
  21. I'm bisexual, not a lesbian, but I absolutely feel the disconnect from the sapphic community. Honestly, femininity in general tends to be pretty heavily associated with romance. Plus, in order to push back against the "predatory lesbian" stereotype, this weird ideal of the Soft Pure Wholesome Fairytale Romance Sweet Pure Soft Wlw Couple Uwu thing has gotten really prevalent, which pushes away those of us who are sexual. Basically being a sapphic aro is just a bad time all around lol
  22. Lmao where are they hearing sexual attraction prioritized in aro advocacy? I mean, unless you count "allo aros begging to be accepted within their own community" as advocacy... I've been involved in aro advocacy for several years now and never encountered people trying to use allo aros as a bargaining chip with alloros. If anything, when it comes to discussions within the wider queer community, I see us used as an argument as to why aspecs shouldn't be allowed into the community- That "Chad the Fratboy" could easily pretend to be allo aro to get access to the queer community (as if straight guys want anything to do with it, lmao).
  23. There's actually a term called arogender specifically for people who feel inclined to put a word to this phenomenon. Doesn't apply to me, but I thought I'd mention it in case people aren't aware. Though I will say that even as someone who's very much a cis woman, being aro has often made me feel alienated from my gender. Womanhood is so closely associated with romance that there are very few women in media I can relate to- Most media aimed at women is about or heavily features romance, and most women in media aimed at men only exist to be love interests, or don't get much screen time/character development. For a long time I thought I must have had heavy internalized misogyny despite my attempts to avoid those kinds of thoughts. Eventually I realized it wasn't that I disliked women, it was just that I disliked romance, and... It's pretty much impossible to find women in media in a non-romantic context. :/
  24. Absolutely. As an aromantic bisexual, being aro honestly has more impact on my life than being bi does. There is nothing even remotely "straight" about aromanticism or asexuality
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