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Jot-Aro Kujo

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Everything posted by Jot-Aro Kujo

  1. Reassuring others. When members of their own community keep shitting on them, it's good for people to see others acknowledging what scaldingly cold takes those are. For every dipshit who thinks it's cool to gatekeep, I want people to know that there's still those out there who recognize that gatekeepers don't deserve anything more than a Wayne's World meme. Hope all the non-SAM aros and aces out there are having a good day! Y'all keep kicking ass!
  2. Yes, in fact, I am a community activist who has spoken at World Pride and an active member of TAAAP. Thank you for asking!
  3. It's more like I respect myself more than to waste my time and energy holding your hand while I explain queerphobia and heteronormativity 101 to you, lmao.
  4. You're supposed to assume that they identify as aro. You DO realize there are bis who have only been in M/W relationships, yeah? You talk about being concerned about marginalized non-hetero identities, and here you are acting like it's up to you to decide who's ~really~ queer or whatever. It's literally none of your business. If they say they're not straight? Then they're not straight. You don't get to decide someone else's identity for them.
  5. No, it doesn't bother me. Why is it any of my business who they are and aren't attracted to? Fuck am I, a cop? If they don't want to label that experience, then they don't have to. I also find it deeply concerning that you would assume they're straight by default...
  6. Um... I mean this in the gentlest way possible, but I'm not sure someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction should be trying to describe it to someone who's wondering if they experience it or not..? I absolutely agree with everything you said about labels being tools for your own expression, etc., as a certified allosexual myself I can say that the experiences depicted in erotica are very rarely, if ever, akin to what I experience, and I don't consider sexual attraction a "visceral" feeling either. The allosexual aromantic experience in particular is very different from the norm, and pretty much never depicted in erotica (yes, this includes "just a hookup" style erotica- it's not something most people think about, but the inherent amatonormativity in a lot of those stories stands out to us like a lighthouse) nor discussions from kink groups, etc. The allosexual aromantic experience is definitely a unique, and lonely, experience, and unless you're familiar with that particular experience it's probably best to leave describing it to those of us who do. Again, no offense intended and I know you didn't mean any harm, but... Yeah. We're not erotica characters. Not by a long shot.
  7. Well, they're just... Different, in that cuddling and sex are different activities. Sexual attraction, to me, is just that- Sexual attraction. If I can't look at someone and think "Yeah, I'd like to have sex with this person", I don't consider myself sexually attracted to them. Can you think of specific individuals, or alternatively a general type of person, with whom you'd actively want to have sex? Not just as in "yeah maybe I'd do it if they asked", but as in "yes, sex with this person is something I want to do". If you can't, you probably don't experience sexual attraction.
  8. Sure. What sort of information are you looking for?
  9. I'll drink your hot chocolate. Gimme gimme 😋
  10. Ashes by the Struts. I listened to it and thought "oh wow this sounds like a good description of DSoD Yugi" and then I listened to it again and heard "I lost my lover-" and I was like. 🔪
  11. Oh yeah, plenty of it. Some of it from my own family. They've gotten a little better about it over the years, though. If you're allosexual you can especially expect to hear a lot of comments about being manipulative or using people for sex, regardless of your actual personality or sex life...
  12. Yeah! He's head carpenter, or uh... Was? Not sure what the situation with Hadestown will be once Broadway reopens tbh... But yeah
  13. Nice to meet you! My dad worked on Hadestown! I haven't actually seen it though...
  14. Yep, that’s romance repulsion, and a mood.
  15. True! I'm not going to do another take because I already put too much effort into something for someone who clearly isn't interested, but you make some good points that would definitely be worth considering if someone were to do another revision.
  16. No, but one scale can reinforce that idea. Especially when you're presenting something that is supposed to teach them about relationships. Anyway, since you're so concerned about presentation, I figured I'd put my graphic design degree to good use. Here you go. Also, First of all, it's 4:57 PM where I am, I'm not going to go to sleep. Secondly, you keep saying you're done with this discussion, yet you keep responding- If you're so tired of it, why don't YOU go to sleep? Nobody's holding you at gunpoint forcing you to read our replies.
  17. I agree with @nonmerci. And frankly, the fact that this infographic is intended to educate alloromantics on aromanticism is exactly what makes it so dangerous that the infographic does include amatonormative- And, if I’m being completely honest, arophobic- concepts. You’ve explained your viewpoint, yes, and we’ve explained why it’s not a good one. If you want to educate people about aromanticism, don’t get all butthurt when aros try to educate you.
  18. If you're getting the same criticism multiple times- From people who have been perfectly polite to you, I may add- Maybe that's a sign that your point of view isn't as correct as you think it is. The point of critiques is to help people improve and see problems they might not have noticed themselves.
  19. I agree with @Stoneandglass's point about the relationship scale, but I also agree that this is beautiful design! Very nicely done.
  20. Oh, you think the original post is bad? It's only the tip of the iceberg. Allow me to recount the drama for those of you who were fortunate enough not to witness it in real time. Part 1: The Fuckening FYA posts the above horrible take; Initially, as it's an untagged post on a multi-mod blog, readers are uncertain as to whether this post represents the thoughts of one or multiple mods, or if it's even made by an aro at all. Later it is discovered to have been Mod Rose, also known by their personal blog url, frompawntoqueen. Many aros respond with rightful criticism of the problems with said post, including: It singles out allosexual aros as using Bad Terminology™ without giving the same treatment to alloromantic aces; It essentially says that allo aros shouldn't get to use the term allo because some aphobes have used it in a bad way, which is unfair; It presents allo and especially allosexual as a bad word, undermining all the efforts the ace community has made to convince people that no, it isn't a bad word, considering it was literally coined to replace the more uncomfortable "sexual" as an antonym to asexual; It inexplicably equates allo with cis in a context that makes no sense, because it's not possible to be both cis and trans, but it is possible to be both allo and aspec via the SAM; And finally, it essentially equates non-SAM aspecs with aroaces, or otherwise implies that there should be a way to tell what "type" of non-SAM aspec someone is, completely missing the point of not using the SAM. FYA/Mod Rose later deletes the post, saying that it shouldn't stay up because it "wasn’t adding to the discussion in a positive way" and that by deleting it, only reblogs with criticism will remain available for people to see. At no point do they actually apologize or acknowledge the reasons why people were upset, only saying that it was "not their intention to speak over any allo aro voices". Meanwhile, aros who criticized the post begin noticing that responses they have made are somehow disappearing from the notes of said post, as well as other related posts FYA has made... Part 2: Upsetti Spaghetti Tumblr user deepinthedirt sends FYA an ask saying that if they really want only critical versions of the post to be seen, they should actually reblog some of them. Mod Rose refuses, and even goes so far as to say "I’ve made no attempts to block people from reblogging and following where the conversation is going themselves", despite the aforementioned disappearing notes. They also claim that they will try to boost allo aro voices "in the future", with no details as to whether that means that same day, or hypothetically at some point before they die. deepinthedirt points out just how vague and unhelpful this claim is, and that Mod Rose did not actually apologize for the hurt they caused. Deepinthedirt also makes a post on their own blog calling for people to stop supporting FYA, a sentiment that is shared by many aros in light of both this incident and many past incidents. Mod Rose says that they don't want to sort through "aggressive" messages (i.e. tone policing people who are rightfully upset) and also says "You are not allowing me to safely listen, process, and understand how to better serve my community." Presumably if Mod Rose needs time to process things they are perfectly capable of disabling the ask box temporarily, or logging off Tumblr. An anon responds that Mod Rose is not listening, and points out the issue of the disappearing notes. Mod Rose insists they are not blocking anyone or deleting notes, and goes on to say "You monitoring the notes of our posts to see how many people are saying negative things and accusing me of getting in the way of that when you cannot find them as easily as you want is triggering to me". Again, Mod Rose is presumably perfectly capable of logging of Tumblr; While triggers should always be respected, in general if someone finds that they're in a triggering situation online, they do have a responsibility to remove themselves from that space and do what they need to do to calm down. Mod Rose apparently did not want to do this, and instead, as in the previous post, put the blame on those who had been hurt for not sitting quietly and giving the person who hurt them time to calm down. Part 3: Damage Control 10 hours after the most recent post on the subject, Mod Rose posts an apology. However, instead of making a new post, they append it onto the response to the previous anon ask, meaning that only people who are specifically looking several posts back on the FYA blog will actually see it. The apology also, once again, does not actually acknowledge the majority of problems with the post, only the fact that it phrased things in a way that put the majority of the focus on allo aros. So essentially, a hidden apology that more or less boils down to "Sorry you were upset that I phrased things badly but I still stand by the things that I said". The next day, an anon politely asks if any acknowledgement is going to be made of the responses to the now-deleted original post, or the vanishing notes. A different mod, Mod Dew, responds that no one at FYA was blocking or deleting anything, and that fae were very concerned with the possibility that this may have been happening. (It should be noted, however, that it's entirely possible that someone could have lied faer about doing this.) Fae also asserts that FYA will be boosting voices, and "on a personal level", fae plan on reaching out directly to some of the people who were hurt. While this is certainly an admirable thing to do, it's... A bit telling that Mod Rose, the person responsible for the fiasco, is not doing this, while Mod Dew, who presumably was not involved, is taking the initiative to right Mod Rose's wrongs. An anon points out that Mod Rose has been responsible for a lot of issues, including the racism controversy with Yasmin Benoit (the details of which can be found here). They question how this can be seen as acceptable, and why Mod Rose is still a mod. Mod Fae responds that Mod Rose created FYA, and is the only person running the Twitter. They... Don't actually answer the anon's question, and rather give what appears to be some sort of explanation or justification for the Yasmin Benoit situation. They also claim that "Rose - and none of the mods here - would never even imply that black aspec people are worth less, or deserve less." This completely ignores the fact that just because someone doesn't intend to be racist, or doesn't actively sit down and think "Yeah, I think black people are inferior", does not mean they're incapable of engaging in racist actions. The proper response to being told you did something racist is "I didn't know that was racist, I'm sorry and I'll avoid doing that in the future", not "Uhhhhh well I didn't intend to be racist so actually it's not racist!". Two days after the original post was made, an anon asks just when FYA is going to start following up on their promises of boosting allo aro voices, and points out that the longer they wait, the less people are going to trust them. Mod Dew responds that fae's personally compiling posts to reblog on the subject, and that rather than posting them immediately, they will be queued to be posted slowly over long periods of time between FYA's usual posts. Whether or not this is the right way to go about things is a matter of opinion, but it is rather telling that once again, it's Mod Dew who's taking the initiative, rather than Mod Rose, who was responsible for the actual problem. TL;DR: Mod Rose of FYA makes a post that's ridiculously shitty to allo aros and non-SAM aros, then when it starts getting criticism, deletes the post and tries to claim they're doing it for a good reason. Mod Rose also seemingly deletes critical responses to the post, though this is later denied. When more criticism pours in and allo aros become fed up with the years of bullshit we've put up with from FYA, Mod Rose completely dodges any responsibility and insists we're not "giving them time to process things" or something (when, if they need space and time to think, they should step away from the situation themself). Later, a completely different mod starts taking initiative to make up for Mod Rose's mistake, while Mod Rose themself does not seem to actually do anything to take responsibility for their own actions. In conclusion,
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