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Jot-Aro Kujo

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About Jot-Aro Kujo

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/20/1998

Personal Information

  • Name
    Alex
  • Orientation
    Aromantic bisexual
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her
  • Occupation
    Graphic design student

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. I actually relate to Mai a lot! She's great. Absolutely everything I wanted to be when I was like 5 years old. I love her so much. Imo though her motivations were more complex, I think the buying clothes thing was mostly just what she told people, not necessarily the real reason she was entering.
  2. Yeah, I definitely do feel like even as a cis woman, even as someone who is very feminine, I think my experience with womanhood is very different from what an allo woman's would be. Women are so deeply linked with romance, both in that we're seen as objects for men's affections, and also in that we're expected to want it for ourselves. Little boys are taught to dream of being astronauts and firefighters and sports stars; Little girls are taught to dream of marrying a handsome prince. Teenage girls are expected to be boy crazy. When you're someone who doesn't want/do any of those things... It's strange, and a little isolating. One area where this particularly bothers me is media. Stories centered on women are almost always romance stories, and in stories that aren't romance-heavy, what few women are present usually wind up being love interests for a male character. Growing up I worried a lot that I must have been secretly a misogynist, because no matter how hard I tried I could never really like stories like Sailor Moon or characters like Winry or Padme, so surely it must have been because I hated women, right? Now of course I know that it's because they're all too deeply tied to romance, so I don't blame myself for it, but I still wish there were more stories for women like me. It's so disheartening looking at my top favorite characters and thinking about the fact that the vast majority of them are guys, or looking at my favorite stories and thinking about the fact that most of them have very few women. As a side note, have you heard of the term arogender? My friend @arokaladin coined it a while back to describe that concept of gender identity being heavily affected by aromanticism. It might be interesting for you to read about.
  3. That's not sexual attraction. Sexual attraction would be wanting to have sex with a specific person. Attraction requires a target; Being curious about sex with any random stranger is just being curious about sex.
  4. I'm allo aro. Not demi, so idk how much help I'll be, though. What's your question?
  5. I don't know if this really counts as a gender thing, I'm pretty firmly cis, but I do tend to dress in more unconventional (usually very feminine, but in a very irregular way) styles and I never care about dressing in ways that men would find appealing. I would be quite happy if my style reads as queer, especially to other queer women, but ultimately I dress exclusively for myself. I dress pretty strangely, and I don't really care if anyone else is bothered by it, because I'm not looking for anyone's approval but my own. Unfortunately this tends to attract weird nerd dudes who think I'm a manic pixie dream girl.
  6. Just ask her? You say you want a QPR with her but you’re not sure if she’ll feel the same way. Then... Ask. Say, “Hey, do you want to have a QPR with me?” No one else can answer that question for her, and she can’t answer if you don’t ask, so it’s best to be direct. Also, something I would like to point out, as an aro myself- I was once in a relationship with someone and we also referred to each other as our “wife” for silly reasons, but eventually I grew to hate this term because it really set off my romance repulsion. Are you sure that’s not the reason why she’s “divorcing” you? Many aros are uncomfortable with romance or romance-coded acts. If she recently came out, she may have been trying to convey this. Ask her what she’s comfortable with and what she isn’t. Remember, just because she claimed to enjoy something while closeted doesn’t necessarily mean she still does.
  7. From one bi aro to another, I'm really sorry you had to experience that. I've had similar experiences, though not quite to this degree. My mom eventually came around; I can only hope yours does too. I don't really have a ton of advice, but I can at least say that you're not alone. If you ever need to talk, I'm open. (You're also welcome to add me on Discord or Tumblr if you prefer.) Good luck, stay strong ❤️💜💙
  8. Yeah, feel free to send it my way, I'd be happy to do what I can.
  9. Alright, I do see what you guys mean now about the meme being the problem and not the tags. That makes sense. Thanks, everyone. On that note, though, I have another question. And I do apologize if it seems like I'm making this all about allo aros- I'm not asking these things to be all "me me me", I'm asking because I recognize that yeah, allo aros do have to be careful about acephobia, and I genuinely do want to learn how to be more respectful of aces in my allo aro activism. What's the best way to approach the topic of actual homophobia/sex shaming within the aro community without instantly putting aroaces on the defensive? I know "waaaaah but aceys are hoOoOmophOoObiIiIIic one time I said a guy is cute and a ace said I should be burned at the stake" etc. etc. is classic acephobic rhetoric, and I don't want to repeat that, but like... Yeah, sometimes people legitimately do say things that are homophobic or sex-shamey, and that needs to be addressed. So, how can this be addressed in a respectful way, and in a way that won't instantly make aces feel nervous due to past experiences with aphobes?
  10. No, I'm not. That's why I'm asking. If I had some overly specific demands for how things should be tagged, I would not be coming into this thread to ask other people how they should be tagged. That was my point.
  11. Regarding "tag policing". Y'all are definitely right that it's not fair to leave no room for overlap between aro identities and ace identities, arospec identities, etc. That being said, I do have a question- What would you say should be done regarding things such as the aforementioned "Attraction is cancelled" meme? Because while it's not... Not an aro meme, I guess, what really bothered me about it was that the OP tagged it as simply "#aro" "#aromantic" "#aromantic memes", implying that it was an experience that would be relatable to all aros. So while I can understand the sentiment, seeing outright homophobia in the aro tag, as an allo aro, was really upsetting. How should examples like this generally be handled?
  12. Alright, then that's on you. I have expressed that myself and others think it's really not fair to bring up someone's post as an example of Bad Content without attempting to communicate with them directly first, and that this kind of behavior ultimately leads to people not wanting to listen to you. If you're outright saying that no, you will not attempt to communicate with them... Well, uh... I don't really know what to say to that..?
  13. Why would I not be..? You're complaining about posts made on Tumblr. Thus, the solution would be to attempt to communicate with the posters, on Tumblr. I don't understand what you're getting at.
  14. For me, personally? Sure, I guess? I don't really have a preferred method of communication. Anywhere you can reach me is fine. For other people, I assume it would depend on the platform. In general, I don't think the method of communication matters so much as the actual communicating. Send them an ask on Tumblr, reblog their post and add a comment, @ them on the forums, whatever- Doesn't really matter how you do it, the important thing is that you talk to them before going and accusing them of things.
  15. If it’s all the same to you, I would very much prefer not to. There’s 500 bazillion issues going on in that thread and I’m tired of all of them. The reason I brought it up was not to dig up old drama, but to explain how things you’ve done in the past/did again in this thread are counterproductive to getting people to listen to you, in the hopes that you could learn from this explanation. That’s all.
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