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  1. I did the same thing haha. I remember reading "aromantic means you lack romantic attraction" and not connecting that to "hey you've never liked anyone ever". When I first learnt about it - I think I was also around 19 - there was so little information beyond that. Then two years later I think?? I read some story with an aro character explaining what aromantic meant and was like as an experience and suddenly I could relate. For those two years I was IDing as panromantic. For the classic reason lots of aros do lol "I feel the same way about everyone therefore it's all and not nothing". The
  2. AUREA has pamphlets that you might find useful and Officially Divinity on YouTube has a great video called What is Aromantic? Good luck!
  3. Have you heard of the Aromantic and Asexual Characters Database? It tells you who a person is and how much screen time they get so you know what you're signing up for. My personal rec would be the Dead Nation series. The aro(ace) character is the rival turned eventual friend in the first book and in the second she gets the share POV. It’s such a good fucking story, I can't recommend it enough. There’s also The Last 8 which I JUST found out has a sequel while looking for a link for you omg. The MC is bisexual and aro. Another fantasy setting. I should say lots of people die in all of
  4. 100%. The problems being aro removes me from vastly outweigh any problems being aro causes me imo. Plus I like being alone lmao, I like being solely in charge of agency and not having to confer with anyone to make decisions.
  5. This is a cool idea! Especially the bit about pre-agreed upon topics. I'd love to talk about aro books with other aros! The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) is currently doing something similar with their Pride Chats - a bit more formally though I think. What you have in mind sounds chill. They'd probably be good people to get in contact with if you have any questions about arranging this kind of thing.
  6. Your anecdotes read like a lot of "I like romance and affection" and "eh romance probably isn't for me" and they can both be true at the same time. Being aromantic means to not feel romantic attraction at all, much, rarely, unpredictably, just - differently than is the norm. If that's true for you and the label is useful, then you're aromantic. In terms of comparing yourself, a lot of what you said resonated with me. Romance in fiction is cool, I'm good at putting myself in other people's shoes so relationship emotions make sense, physical affection is nice af, romance doesn't exist until
  7. I need to know romance is coming and then they have to meet my expectations. If I'm picking up a sci-fi novel say and there's going to be romance in it then it has to be secondary to the plot. The story can't divert off into a romance, that's not what I signed up for. If I'm reading a romance novel however then the characters have to be well written and just generally respect each other. They do have to do something different though, something new. We've all seen the same romance a fucking thousand times. If I'm reading a romance then you really have to work to keep my interest. I guess plot i
  8. I can't comment on Tapas so here will do. I really fucking love the use of colour in the first episode, I would have thought greyscale would be kind of distant, but the scene feels really warm. The shape of your characters are so appealing, v nice to look at. Baz's cats are the best thing about the comic, hands down. I am curious about what kind of world they live in if the cats can be taken out and about and into places of work haha - and how do I get there btw??? Bruise is my favourite episode so far. The relatability, the dramatic faces at the end, the way you wrote the dialogue (both the w
  9. This is a great piece of writing that I recommend everyone read: https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2020/09/24/the-allo-aro-intersection-matters/. It's very interesting and offers a perspective on the past, present, and future of a-spec relations. There's some history in there too that does offer an answer and back up what some of you have been saying, specifically here:
  10. I wrote a big long paragraph about people confusing asexuality and aromanticism, but ykno what I'm tired of talking about asexuality lol so I'll focus on the lighter part of this discussion: Lmao @Queasy_Attention that's so fucking funny. When they say "why tf did you buy me aro merch??" I'll say "oh umm right hmmm, to remind you of me 😇😇"
  11. Lol I'm not done! It's always a point of pride? Or celebration, or a goddamn compliment too y'know? They're saying: "We're asexual! That's so fucking cool!" and I have to be like "no, we aren't asexual. I'm aromantic!" Siri, why do my asexual friends believe that aromanticism is a subset of asexuality when my queer allo friends who only interact with aro and ace identities through our friend group understand the distinction and separation?
  12. I would like to personally challenge my non-aro ace friends to stop thinking that I, a non-ace aro, am like them and share their interests. I don't understand, they know I'm not ace?? And you'd think bc of their orientations they'd know that aro and ace aren't the same thing and yet?? No, I will write sex in my fiction thank you very much. No, strangely when I was brainstorming what word to put on the back of my jean jacket "ACE" didn't make the list. No, the ace pin you bought me isn't a good gift and no matter how embarrassed you are rn blurting "its close enough" doesn't work in your defenc
  13. I adore umbrella terms like queer and alloaro that are an identity and a community all in one! I also prefer to speak in general sentences like idk "my friend and I are fucking" rather than saying we're friends with benefits or fuckbuddies lmao. So whenever I come across a word that I personally don't find useful I don't really retain it and it's definition. I tend to miss the need for microlabels and new language being used in the aro community, which is a shame tbh bc there's a lot of nuance in that. Language is created and used for a reason. Luckily definitions can be searched up so I might
  14. Now I'm even more confused haha, which question? Also I assumed my message would be one and done, which it clearly it hasn't been so now I think I'm just distracting you from answering the v valid criticisms being made. You can tell me which yes or no question the scale is supposed to illustrate and I'll definitely read your response, but I think I've said all I need to.
  15. Okay yeah, that is a handy infograph and now with context I'm still not sure what the scale is attempting to say. Everything else has a title or a question above it, can I ask how you would title the scale? Also I'm sorry lmao I literally said "I think people would generally agree that there's no attraction towards strangers or acquaintances." I'd like to state on the record, your honour, that that's bullshit. People do indeed feel attraction to strangers and acquaintances. I personally feel sexual attraction, but since that doesn't seem to fit on here and I couldn't apply this scale that
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