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About Scoop

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    Aro / Queer / Bi
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  1. Have you heard of the Aromantic and Asexual Characters Database? It tells you who a person is and how much screen time they get so you know what you're signing up for. My personal rec would be the Dead Nation series. The aro(ace) character is the rival turned eventual friend in the first book and in the second she gets the share POV. It’s such a good fucking story, I can't recommend it enough. There’s also The Last 8 which I JUST found out has a sequel while looking for a link for you omg. The MC is bisexual and aro. Another fantasy setting. I should say lots of people die in all of these books I'm recommending you and they have heavy themes and questionable morals at times. I like that kind of thing haha. The Murderbot Diaries has 6 books in its series and is all about saving people and coming together. It's beautiful and fucking funny. The MC is aro and ace and romance is only mentioned in passing the whole series. Idk if you care about this sort of thing but none of the characters say they are aromantic in the text. They all say "romance isn’t for me" in various ways, multiple times, and act like it. Which I appreciate. There are probably more and I hope other people add to this list. The character database is v cool but it’s a lot of text I struggle to compute and nothing beats a personal review.
  2. 100%. The problems being aro removes me from vastly outweigh any problems being aro causes me imo. Plus I like being alone lmao, I like being solely in charge of agency and not having to confer with anyone to make decisions.
  3. This is a cool idea! Especially the bit about pre-agreed upon topics. I'd love to talk about aro books with other aros! The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) is currently doing something similar with their Pride Chats - a bit more formally though I think. What you have in mind sounds chill. They'd probably be good people to get in contact with if you have any questions about arranging this kind of thing.
  4. Your anecdotes read like a lot of "I like romance and affection" and "eh romance probably isn't for me" and they can both be true at the same time. Being aromantic means to not feel romantic attraction at all, much, rarely, unpredictably, just - differently than is the norm. If that's true for you and the label is useful, then you're aromantic. In terms of comparing yourself, a lot of what you said resonated with me. Romance in fiction is cool, I'm good at putting myself in other people's shoes so relationship emotions make sense, physical affection is nice af, romance doesn't exist until someone else brings it up, and since its not a thing then I have no strong feelings about it one way or another. I can't say I've ever thought about what kind of impressions aromantics give off and it's interesting that this is what you've found! This is a really great place to talk to aros about your experiences (and other cool shit too) so I'd say you're in the right place haha
  5. I need to know romance is coming and then they have to meet my expectations. If I'm picking up a sci-fi novel say and there's going to be romance in it then it has to be secondary to the plot. The story can't divert off into a romance, that's not what I signed up for. If I'm reading a romance novel however then the characters have to be well written and just generally respect each other. They do have to do something different though, something new. We've all seen the same romance a fucking thousand times. If I'm reading a romance then you really have to work to keep my interest. I guess plot is my priority when it comes to books and to romance haha
  6. I can't comment on Tapas so here will do. I really fucking love the use of colour in the first episode, I would have thought greyscale would be kind of distant, but the scene feels really warm. The shape of your characters are so appealing, v nice to look at. Baz's cats are the best thing about the comic, hands down. I am curious about what kind of world they live in if the cats can be taken out and about and into places of work haha - and how do I get there btw??? Bruise is my favourite episode so far. The relatability, the dramatic faces at the end, the way you wrote the dialogue (both the word choices and the placement of the words) gives the scene a lot of movement. Do you have a consistent update schedule? Otherwise I'll just check in at random probably.
  7. This is a great piece of writing that I recommend everyone read: https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2020/09/24/the-allo-aro-intersection-matters/. It's very interesting and offers a perspective on the past, present, and future of a-spec relations. There's some history in there too that does offer an answer and back up what some of you have been saying, specifically here:
  8. I wrote a big long paragraph about people confusing asexuality and aromanticism, but ykno what I'm tired of talking about asexuality lol so I'll focus on the lighter part of this discussion: Lmao @Queasy_Attention that's so fucking funny. When they say "why tf did you buy me aro merch??" I'll say "oh umm right hmmm, to remind you of me 😇😇"
  9. Lol I'm not done! It's always a point of pride? Or celebration, or a goddamn compliment too y'know? They're saying: "We're asexual! That's so fucking cool!" and I have to be like "no, we aren't asexual. I'm aromantic!" Siri, why do my asexual friends believe that aromanticism is a subset of asexuality when my queer allo friends who only interact with aro and ace identities through our friend group understand the distinction and separation?
  10. I would like to personally challenge my non-aro ace friends to stop thinking that I, a non-ace aro, am like them and share their interests. I don't understand, they know I'm not ace?? And you'd think bc of their orientations they'd know that aro and ace aren't the same thing and yet?? No, I will write sex in my fiction thank you very much. No, strangely when I was brainstorming what word to put on the back of my jean jacket "ACE" didn't make the list. No, the ace pin you bought me isn't a good gift and no matter how embarrassed you are rn blurting "its close enough" doesn't work in your defence. Like?? I get that they want to share shit and relate to me, we're friends. And I get that despite being able to feel romantic attraction none of them are really all that involved in romance atm so I guess they conflate the two in their minds, but also, why do I have to go through this. Think for a second? Stop including me in your ace shit? Its funny, but you never include anyone else in the group who isn't ace in these ace-centric thoughts. Fuck the look on their faces every time, they catch themselves before I've even said anything and realise the mistake they've made. Yeah, you forgot my identity again. Nice job. This post sounds so bitter and that's bc its a rant lmao, my friends are great otherwise. It is ironic tho that all my queer allo friends are better with my aro identity than my ace friends.
  11. I adore umbrella terms like queer and alloaro that are an identity and a community all in one! I also prefer to speak in general sentences like idk "my friend and I are fucking" rather than saying we're friends with benefits or fuckbuddies lmao. So whenever I come across a word that I personally don't find useful I don't really retain it and it's definition. I tend to miss the need for microlabels and new language being used in the aro community, which is a shame tbh bc there's a lot of nuance in that. Language is created and used for a reason. Luckily definitions can be searched up so I might be bad, but I'm not totally irredeemable
  12. Now I'm even more confused haha, which question? Also I assumed my message would be one and done, which it clearly it hasn't been so now I think I'm just distracting you from answering the v valid criticisms being made. You can tell me which yes or no question the scale is supposed to illustrate and I'll definitely read your response, but I think I've said all I need to.
  13. Okay yeah, that is a handy infograph and now with context I'm still not sure what the scale is attempting to say. Everything else has a title or a question above it, can I ask how you would title the scale? Also I'm sorry lmao I literally said "I think people would generally agree that there's no attraction towards strangers or acquaintances." I'd like to state on the record, your honour, that that's bullshit. People do indeed feel attraction to strangers and acquaintances. I personally feel sexual attraction, but since that doesn't seem to fit on here and I couldn't apply this scale that reads like a Least to Most Important Relationships guide to myself I started thinking real abstract about it lmao. Again I apologise haha
  14. Ironically no matter what I open the infograph on the text is blurred and all I can read is the relationship hierarchy because the standalone relationship titles aren't lost in a mass of text lmao. With no context I am curious what the scale is meant to represent. I can't read anything but the title of the infograph "Types of attraction" and the scale, but I think people would generally agree that there's no attraction towards strangers or acquaintances. And by the logic you've used - which looks like this is supposed to place queerplatonic partners on the ""normal"" relationship hierarchy - then I'd expect to see family on there. So I assume this scale is talking more about types of relationships rather than types of attraction? Except again family isn't on there and that's a ""normal"" relationship most people have. If family were listed on the scale I doubt it would look so much like a build up of Most Importance Relationship from strangers to romantic partners. You could just move romantic partners onto the left side of the scale and put family at the top of the right scale. While I think a hierarchy is inherently flawed as they are subjective, you seem to be committed to it and I imagine that would change the tone. It would still imply that queerplatonic relationships are less than and probably make people wonder why the person on the left doesn't have any family. All of which distracts from your point. That seems to be what people are saying here - the scale distracts from your overall point and, depending on the reader, undermines it. Wish I could read the rest of it haha EDIT: "I think people would generally agree that there's no attraction towards strangers or acquaintances" is bullshit. My logic is flawed here. I do think having family on the scale would stop it looking like all the criticisms being made in this thread, but again only if there has to be a scale.
  15. I'm curious about your intro there. I assume a topic you'll be covering is alienation and the like. Having your aroace character as non-human explicitly states the disconnect without words. Do you plan on showing an equivalent disconnect to humanity for your aroallo character? You've also mentioned that the aroallo character is outgoing, likely to partner, and well liked in comparison to your aroace character. I'm getting a slight implication that the aroallo character is ""better"" at being human and therefore, based on your description, arguably better at navigating how romance is an intrinsic part of the world [EDIT: and less effected by this problem than aroaces.] Would you agree that's how this is shaping up? You haven’t given too much information so I could be reading something that isn’t there. Particularly when you've said little about your aroace chararcter and with your aroallo character that they're bad at reading people and social cues. I would say it's difficult to find depth in relationships as an aroallo person. Most of your friends are likely looking for romance which means you aren’t their priority. Sexual relationships, if you can find them at all, are either shallow and physical alone or, as it's been said above, the step before your graduate into the more desirable romantic relationship. And how do your create a family if you don't have a partner to then have kids with? Etc. The idea that your aroallo character is well liked but not well known would be a cool thing to explore. I like your enthusiasm and premise so far! Plus androids are always a win. And getting people involved now is a great way to advertise smart thinking haha.
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