The relationships poll

[techno]

I'm really not a very physical person, so basically for me it'd just be like being best friends, only different. I wouldn't want it to include anything very physical beyond hugging (I hug all my friends anyway).

I don't know if I'd want it in the future; really I think what I want in life is like a permanent roommate situation with my best friend?

[SoulWolf]

I'd really like a close friend/companion person who likes to cuddle a lot and isn't remotely interested in romantic or sexual stuff, or at least not with me. I guess I'm "actively looking" in the sense that I try to figure out if people are open to those things without actually having the courage to ask them directly.

 

 

[cute kitty Meow! Mewo!]

I am interested in a qpp but not actively looking. I guess that when I meet a new friend I actively try to figure out our feelings for each other - but that is more so a need to feel comfortable in my relationships rather then wanting them to be a qpp. I am usually more preferred to have them just be a friend - often relieved when they have no romantic feelings for me - although IDK if that applies to seeking a qpp? heh. 

 

I am pretty much "monogomous" with my idea of a qpp - but that is mostly due to being kind of pulled back from close emotional connections. but then, that also is kind of my incentive for being in a qpp - that when I am close with one person, I want to talk to them about everything - I am almost too needy. 

 

I need an emotional connection with a sexual partner. although even with it, I am often resistant to the idea of sexual contact with anyone. I have this sense of "knowing" that if I was with a person as a partner - this would not matter anymore - I guess it is a sense of loyalty or dedication. 

[Queen of Spades]

I've been dreaming of a (monogamous and closed) queerplatonic lifetime relationship ever since I was 14. I could be either with a boy or with a girl, with one difference. 

 

with a boy: best friends + physyical affection + sex

with a girl: best friends + physical affection (elements with no degree of eroticism whatsoever)

 

Those having been said, my ideal is our living together and having 2 cats. 

 

But as it is hard to find someone who is worthy of becoming a best friend to you in general, the probability of my ever finding what I look for is rather slight :(. Once I almost thought a miracle happened and I actually found someone, but due to goal incompatibility, it failed :(. But our (best) friendship remained intact! <3. 

 

 

Also, I can have a strong emotional connection with more persons - in other words, I can come to love (in my own way, of course) as many people as prove themselves worthy of that, BUT I'd choose ONE of them to be my life partner based on various additional side factors. If my partner were a guy, I want a sexually monogamous relationship. If it's a girl, I wouldn't have sex with any guy at all because it just doesn't feel right. So I think you get what I mean.  

[SamwiseLovesLife]

I would love a QPR but wouldn't want a forced one, only if it feels right 

 

I would like another ace-spec but okay with a romantic person as long as they respect that it's not my game.

Someone who I trust completely to always have my back and be there when i need emotional support.

Someone to live with, travel with, get a cat with

 

If it never happens, that's okay too. I just love having friends (:

[Untamed Heart]

I'd like someone who was a best friend, first and foremost, someone who was willing and mature enough to work together through any problems that we had. I've never actually fought with any of my boyfriends, but if I was with someone mature enough to be able to make up and work through problems, I'd actually be OK with the more difficult conversations. I've learned to pick my battles and it might take me a while to pluck up the courage to bring stuff up, but I know I can do it.

Also, I really don't want kids. I'd prefer to have some pets, but even if they weren't on board with that I'd still be OK if they didn't want to parent small humans instead.

I'd prefer being single for the rest of my life, really, but if I had another partner I'd really like it if I didn't feel so damn confused about them and depressed about being with them for no reason.

[sarcastic kitten]

Sometimes, I really want to be in a relationship:

Boy or Girl, I don't care. With or without sex (I could totally date an ace person 'cause a relationships isn't solely based on sex. And I would always have my hands and my imagination left ). I just need  someone that can understand me and is mature enough to understand that I won't be able to reciprocate his/her feelings as she/he wants if he/she is an alloromantic.

 

They can be a total stranger, a friend, or my best friend, although before there is gonna be a looooooooong discussion about boundaries, respect, what we want and doesn't want from each other, etc... For me, discussing with the individual before starting any relationship is the must-to-do if you want to have something that last and doesn't end like the apocalypse.

However, he or she had to satisfy some condition, like being a cuddly person (seriously, hugs are the beeeest), loving cats and being respectful. Then, it's on !

 

But most of the time,  the mere mention of the word 'relationship' send shivers of disgust to my spine and I'm like 'wut ? Relationship ? What is that ? Food ? A Pokemon ? '

 

1 hour ago, Untamed Heart said:

I'd prefer being single for the rest of my life, really, but if I had another partner I'd really like it if I didn't feel so damn confused about them and depressed about being with them for no reason.

 

So yeah you had summarized very well my idea of relationships ^^

[IceHurricane]

I'd be open to like a friends-with-benefits type thing. Not sure if that would count as a QPR or not, though. And the person I'm with could be with other people (as long as they're safe). Not sure if I would need more than one person, but I'm completely open to non-monogamy if that's what my partner(?) chooses. I don't really need emotional or physical closeness. Just friendship and sex lol. 

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 16/06/2016 at 9:01 AM, <div id="broccoli"></div> said:

the thought of maybe one day having a QPP is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day, but i've never even come close to having one

 

one day though. one day

 

Can I just say, I love your profile photo. Broccoli all the way

[shotinthehand]

I just looked through this thread again and I realized there is something I would like to add to why I feel like I'm young to use the term QPP or QPR in regards to my friends and relationships.

In high school, people are pretty much expected to have the closest person in the world to them (outside of their family) be their best friend(s). Sure, we are expected to date and possibly be very close with romantic partners or have very gushy, over-the-top teenage feelings like Romeo and Juliet, but there's nothing unusual about having the closest person in the world to you be your best friend at this age. No-one would consider that "quirky".

Of course I know that the people who get to define a relationship as "quirky" are the people in it. The label is for yourself, not others, but the label just seems superfluous to apply to myself right now.

I would consider using the term for myself right now if I were in a sensual and/or sexual platonic relationship right now, but I'm not.

[Ettina]

On 5/20/2017 at 3:34 AM, shotinthehand said:

I just looked through this thread again and I realized there is something I would like to add to why I feel like I'm young to use the term QPP or QPR in regards to my friends and relationships.

In high school, people are pretty much expected to have the closest person in the world to them (outside of their family) be their best friend(s). Sure, we are expected to date and possibly be very close with romantic partners or have very gushy, over-the-top teenage feelings like Romeo and Juliet, but there's nothing unusual about having the closest person in the world to you be your best friend at this age. No-one would consider that "quirky".

Of course I know that the people who get to define a relationship as "quirky" are the people in it. The label is for yourself, not others, but the label just seems superfluous to apply to myself right now.

I would consider using the term for myself right now if I were in a sensual and/or sexual platonic relationship right now, but I'm not.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I had two classmates who were such close friends that the rest of us would just run their names together because they were practically always together. Absolutely nothing romantic about it.

 

I wonder if that's part of why people stereotype aros as immature? A lot of us primarily want a relationship type that is only generally recognized and accepted for children.          

[One-Eyed Jack]

This is a bit of an old poll and a bit of an old thread, but I voted anyway now that someone revived it.

 

My life is on hold until cataract surgeries in late August and early September. Until then, relationships are out of the question, and even friendships would be tricky because I'm so focused on medical things.

 

In about the middle of September, I'll evaluate what I want from life and decide what's worth trying for and what isn't. I'll be 52 with an actuarially calculated life expectancy between 59 and 73, with the 50% probability of death tipping point being around 67 (which is, ironically, the age of mandatory retirement for people my age where I live). I don't have enough years left to start working on getting some things done because I'm too likely to die before I've finished. That will also affect how I view any potential relationship and even friendship.

[Confidential_Con]

I'm already in a QPR; they're my best friend, and while they're neither aro nor ace we've talked a lot about what we want from each other and what our boundaries are in our relationship. (It helped that for a while they did ID on the ace and aro spectrums, so they already had a fair bit of knowledge of aromantism and QPRs.)

[Mark]

On 20/05/2017 at 10:34 AM, shotinthehand said:

In high school, people are pretty much expected to have the closest person in the world to them (outside of their family) be their best friend(s). Sure, we are expected to date and possibly be very close with romantic partners or have very gushy, over-the-top teenage feelings like Romeo and Juliet, but there's nothing unusual about having the closest person in the world to you be your best friend at this age. No-one would consider that "quirky".

I was kind of thinking how things like "cuddle buddy" type relationships might be seen as OK for pre-teens. But less acceptable for anyone much older than that...
 

On 31/05/2017 at 1:15 AM, One-Eyed Jack said:

I don't have enough years left to start working on getting some things done because I'm too likely to die before I've finished. That will also affect how I view any potential relationship and even friendship.

I also have something of a sense of "life's too short". Whilst still being just as clueless about how to find what I've always wanted as was the case when I was a teenager.
Other than being certain that I never want to even try the romantic normative stuff ever again. I'm still stuck with "How do I find even one person open to something non/queer/quirky platonic?"