Confidential_Con

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I feel the same way. I enjoy sex and desire it sometimes, though not really to the same extent or intensity it seems like my partner does. For me the act is nice, but the intimacy and care afterwards with them is equally nice. I take the view that even if we don't experience it exactly the same way, as long as we're both having fun it's alright. For me, practical concerns (being trans) tend to disincline me from casual sex anyway, and I can't imagine comfortable with trying it with someone I don't at the least trust to understand my hangups regarding my body and to respect my boundaries in regards to that. But even if those hangups sometimes mean I have to tell my partner to stop in the middle of things because I feel unexpectedly awful, I know that they'll immediately stop what they're doing to comfort me. And knowing that makes it easier for me to do stuff with them: I know that whatever happens with our clothes off, they care about me and my well-being is more important to them than getting off.

I realized I was ace around 13, and am still confident in that. But since I didn't know about aromantism, I confused my lack of attraction to any gender with not having a preference for any gender, leading me to think for a few years that I must be bi/pan with really high standards. I finally figured out and accepted I was aro when I was in my last few years of highschool.

I'm bigender, male and neutrois. (Gender is confusing.) I don't really think it effects my attraction much, since I'm never attracted to anyone. I do like it when my QPP calls me their man, even though I'm nonbinary. Since I'm a college student living with my parents, I can't really present as masc as I'd like and I can't start transitioning since I'm financially dependent on them. So it's really gratifying that my partner at least refers to me in male terms.

How comfortable I am with kissing comes and goes. I'm generally okay with kissing that isn't on the mouth, but sometimes I'm alright with it if my partner wants to kiss me on the lips, sometimes I'm really not. Fortunately, they know that and ask me first.

I don't have crushes or squishes, but I am in a QPR with an allo person. We were friends before we were in a QPR, and I'd told them that I was aro and they were cool with it; they identified as ace at the time, so they were familiar with the concept of romantic and sexual attraction being separate.

I used to shave a lot back before I knew that being trans or nonbinary was a thing; I knew that I was uncomfortable in my body, but didn't know how to fix it (and had some texture-related sensory issues), so I snuck my dad's razors and shaved. Dry, because I hated the smell of shaving cream, and which apparently was pretty dangerous because I didn't really know what I was doing. Now that I don't really ID as female anymore, I don't shave; partly because it's easier, partly as a way of saying, if only to myself, that I'm not a part of any of that anymore. Only time it causes problems is when I want to wear a sleeveless shirt; I still feel awkward showing armpit hair, so for my own peace of mind I shave that one the very rare occasion I wear something sleeveless.

INTJ #600 reporting in. (I don't really take the test that seriously, admittedly.)

Granted; you can only consume food intravenously now. I wish I could have my cat with me at college.

I'm on an Assassins kick right now, so I'm listening to "The Ballad of Czolgosz".

I hope it goes well for you!

I'd say I'd like to see more aromantic representation; most of the only characters I've seen who reject romance are in kids books, with the implication being that it's a sign of immaturity and that they'll grow out of it. Same thing with asexual representation, though possibly because I don't like to read books that feature romance central to the story, it seems like it's hard to tell one way or another unless the character explicitly says so (like Jughead).

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whoops, wrong thread. ignore this post.

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