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alto

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What does sexual attraction feel like?  And what does it feel like to feel sexual attraction?

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Since I am demisexual, I was thinking a compare-and-contrast approach would be helpful in providing some clearer insight. For more than 99% of the guys, how I feel about the idea of even kissing them on the lips varies from slightly averse if I happen to be aesthetically attracted to them to extremely repulsed if I totally dislike the way they look. If the guy happens to be part of the other less than 1%, on the other hand, everything feels right. Kissing and sharing intimate touches appeals to me as opposed to freaking me out. I fantasize about physical intimacy specifically with him and I crave to feel his body pressed against mine. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm a straight alloaro gal and well, I 99% of the time don't really fantasize about real people. That doesn't mean I'm against doing the deed with someone, I'd be up to friends with benefits or some casual sex with a person I know at least somewhat well, but I just don't particularly stick to a specific person with my sexual attraction at all tbh.

When I fantasize I usually either imagine a random fictional man or just... Don't imagine a person at all in a way, just his body and what he does, but nothing else. 

I'm a little strange about this, which is why I did consider whether I might be asexual, but I have concluded that I am not, just not interested in sex with particular people, but I am in sex in general.

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yeah i'm not sure i'm very good at describing it.  have you heard the analogy to a craving for a certain food?  i think it's the best one there is.  it can really vary, like i can just see someone briefly and think he's hot and that's it, not think any more about it, or it can be very strong attraction, which involves explicit sexual thoughts, physical sensations like arousal and a sort of fluttery feeling in my chest, and sexual frustration (either i can't have him at all or if i am sleeping with him then outside of those very moments i think about it a lot).  also i sometimes get nervous when interacting with someone i find sexually attractive, which doesn't happen with just aesthetic attraction.

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