mordo

Honestly hate when I remember im aro, like there’s no reason i should be forgetting it because im fairly romance repulsed but also knee deep in denial and deep rooted shame about it. Idk why i feel gross about not wanting all the romantic stuff but it’s prom season so the shame is setting in and it doesn’t help that trying to build an art account requires mainly fanart that revolves around ships because it usually does the best. Idk i kinda just hate everything about it rn but I know it’ll pass eventually

just realized that usually when i’m creating a character i forget to give them romantic attraction, not in like a purposefully making characters aro way but since i don’t ever register it i don’t really think about it in terms of characters. even when i give characters a partner (usually don’t because i forget) i forget that there’s more than just being roommates who feel safe around each other. kinda just putting this out here to see if other aros do this but it came up bc i gave a character a shirt that says “boy kisser” and didn’t realize it would be taken as gay bc i never really thought about him being in any kind of romantic situations because i never think about them at all

names have so much more nuance than people tend to treat them, like yeah i have one name that’s good across the board and i changed it to be my legal name but that doesn’t mean that i don’t want to use other names with different groups of people. but i don’t want those other names to be my legal name. sometimes a name is a personal thing, like nicknames. parts of an identity are personal sometimes and it’s ok to keep it that way but also like too scared to tell people they can call me other things because they’ll overthink it

in most ways im pretty romance repulsed, i usually forget i am until confronted with romance lol but like i feel such strong aesthetic attraction towards people, like how i imagine allos feel about a crush and it’s wild? like usually with fictional characters or actors or whatever but like people are so pretty sometimes and it makes me question my aromanticism sometimes lol

i can’t tell if i’m aromantic or just too scared to care about someone more than they care about me. i also don’t really consider anyone my friend for the same reason. i have a tendency to block out most of my emotions anyway and i’ve like constantly throughout my life been betrayed by people i thought were close friends and so now i just try to keep myself distant from anyone. i really want a partner and close friends but i also feel weird letting people get that close to me. i don’t know if i’m just blocking out attraction to “save myself” or if i’m aromantic and it’s a little confusing

im fine being masculine, i know how to do it and its comfortable although i wish i could be more feminine. i don’t really relate to being a girl at all though and i don’t really think of myself as a guy, i don’t really care if people see me as a girl or a guy though. i don’t really feel like either gender but i’m fine being either one at the same time??? idk it’s a little silly idk what this is lol

in my experience i just get anxious with identifying as any fluid identity even if the feelings i have to fluctuate because i like things to be consistent and it’s hard when your identity is inconsistent. also kinda going through the same thing being agender, like i know i probably am but it seems so complicated that i just sit in denial most of the time because those emotions are complicated just remember to use whatever labels make you comfortable, there’s no pressure to identify as anything if it makes you uncomfortable just use the labels you like

amazing as long as it’s quiet next person gets a shaved chimpanzee

i don’t really know how to know which pronouns i like or not because it’s kinda just based on what would be funny or make sense? like any pronouns or gendered compliments are more of a punchline to a joke to me if that makes sense, i only really present masculine because i don’t really know how to look good feminine so usually just go with masculine pronouns and stuff because that’s what i pass as but i wish people would be more chill about using different pronouns but i also don’t really care idk it’s confusing and i don’t really know what gender i am anyways so it seems silly to tell people to use other things if i don’t really care too much about it anyways

Never understood how people can describe their ideal partner, especially in the terms of having a “type”. it’s such an important idea to allos for some reason and it’s a little silly before i knew i was aro my “ideal partner” was basically a human pillow that i could share rent with, like a roommate to cuddle idk i just think it’s a little silly and wanted to know if other aros had ideas of what a relationship would be that allos thought was weird

made this one myself

realizing my ex was indeed an asshole and that outing me to an entire group chat i wasn’t in was a fucking asshole move, turns out that breaking up with someone and explaining that you are aroace is just going to end up in them ignoring the aro part and outing you as ace because they need to prove it wasn’t their fault you broke up. also just being ignored when coming out to people is ass

omg in the same vein as like being “lucky” to not experience heartbreak people just assuming that people don’t get heartbroken by friendships ending, or just the overall nonchalance towards any relationship that isn’t romantic that they have also the fact that alloros will straight up basically abandon friendships once they get into a romantic relationship, just tired of feeling ignored until the eventual breakup where they come crawling back and it feels shitty

im about 2/3 of the way through loveless by alice oseman and honestly thrilled to have representation and it’s a well written book but reading it kinda feels sucky at times. like on one hand love getting representation and characters to relate to but also kinda going through the grief i felt realizing i was aroace again reading georgia coming to terms with her sexuality. like it can be an isolating sucky experience and still being completely closeted after three years feels shitty and it’s kinda just bringing up a lot of the shitty feelings i have about my own sexuality while also being a really good book about finding yourself and ahhhhhhh