nonmerci

Moral of the story : the USA need aromantic judges. More seriously, I'm with you here. Romance is too often paint as this pure thing that justifies every actions (usually by opposition to sex... you do something for romantic love you are cute, you do something for sex you are an idiot; talk about double standards here). Our society really need to understand romantic feelings are not some angelic thing. Oh no, please don't feel that way. If society think this is an acceptable excuse, then society is broken, not you.

You might be aro if someone told you "you recognize LOVE when you feel it" and you still have no clue what it is, because you never felt it and so never recognize it.

Maybe, try to figure why it is so hard to accept, and then work on that? For instance, it was hard to accept for me because it was hard to accept that things I planned (getting married for instance) will never happen. When I accepted that I won't get married (which was make it easier when I realize that I never really wanted it anyway, it was the amatonormativity in my mind), I accept my aromanticism, and I even like it now.

I don't really have an advice. Identifying as greyro before identifying as aro helped me (I thought I had not intense crushes but no). But I won't advice to do that, because that's not a good reason to identify as greyro (greyro people are not there so aro can feel better or deny their identity, if you see what I mean). Feeling of lost and confusion will vanish with time, though I guess that's not what you want to hear.

I thought I was allo but not for the same reason. First I didn't know aromanticism was a possibility so I thought I have crushes or that I will have them eventually. Then when I discover aromanticism, I thought I do have crushes or maybe squishes because I haven't realize yet that I just think of people like that because I felt like I have to, not because I was attracted to them. I also wanted to be alloromantic because I wanted children and thought children need a father and so I need a husband lol. So realizing I was aro was realizing that I made up crushes because amatonormativity convinced me I have some and I wanted it, but that I actually didn't.

Yes, Luna Lovegood. My favorite character in Harry Potter. Labels are meant to be useful. If you don't want to use it, don't. Some aces use "just ace" because they don't feel the need to label their romantic orientation.

I would ask : do you fantacize about romance in general (the idea of being in a romantic relationship feels nice, for instance) or do you feel that way about someone specific? One thing that makes me realize I was aromantic is that I never look for romance because I feel that way towards someone, but because romance is the norm and I never think that not having crushes was an option.

Oh yeah totally. It devaluates friendship so much.

Maybe it is because I am not an English native speaker, but someone could interpret as "isn't into anyone" as "into anyone for now", something that is less likely to happen with "isn't into any gender". Now, if you want to be sure people get it, you can use the word aromantic (if it fits the universe), something like "Actually, he's not into any gender as he is aromantic", but I don't think it is necessary.

Not sure if it fits because I only write, I don't do role play, but anyway. Most of my characters are not aromantic. I think I have only two and maybe three. Most of the time, I don't really chose my character's orientation, they chose it themselves, which can explain why they tend to not share my orientation. I write romance as some plot, though I recently discover that I'm more efficient with the phase when the characters learn to know each other than with the phase when they are an actual couple (not that I am not at ease or repulsed by it, but it is not very natural so they speak to much as people who are not a couple).

No need to apologize. Arocalypse is here for that too. ?

No need to apologize and your question is not stupid. For some people "aro" click immediately, for others it comes woth some questioning, this is not a big deal. Only you can define your feelings. All I can say is that from what you say, aromantic is indeed a possibility (maybe somewhere between romance-indifferent and romance-favorable). I think what you can ask to yourself is : 1) Some people confess to you, but did you think about anyone as a potential romantic partner if they haven't confess first? 2) If you think about romance with someone, is it something you really want or is it more something vague like "if I have to be in a romantic relationship, it would be with this or this person because this our this reason?" In other words, is it a specific person that makes you think about romance, or is it the idea of romance that makes you look for people to be in a relationship with? 3) If you feel attraction, what exactly do you feel and what do you want to do with them? 4) You say you get excited when people confess, but you don't want a romantic relationship with them, so why are you excited for? Is it link to romance or is it something else? I don't know if these questions help you but if some do, maybe answering can help you too.

Another nice video.

I really love Never been in love by Will Jay too. I like to call it "the ultimate aro song" lol. I also like "oh no" from Marina and the Diamonds. However my favorite is a French song, called "Mon coeur mon amour" , who makes fun of the cringe things romantic couples do. She even imitate the song whil she sings (the part about the phone in particular). If some are interested, here's the song and the translation. I don't know if it sounds as good in English though (there are a lot of expressions and a culinary metaphor and that's hard to translate, to be honest I go simple). Also, you'll see, it's catchy.

The one I think about are in French. Some are not specific to romantic relationship, some are not. Things like "darling" or "sweetheart" are not weird to me. May not be the most common, I don't know, but I heard "nounours" (Teddy bear) and "doudou" (comforter/blanket), and... I don't know, I guess I couldn't like to be compared to toys.

Yeah, I can ship characters too. What I find tiring is more when this is the only thing that is talked about. Or when some people dislike a character just because this character "threatens" their ship (even when we perfectly know the ship is "endgame" and that the third character is awesome).

When I was in high school, we wrote the play we will play at the end of the year. At some point, we had something about a wedding in it. And I ask "can I play a woman that hate weddings?"

I'm happy I never heard the cutesy voice irl, it would be so weird lol. Usually, pet names makes me laugh (well, it depends on the pet names, but some are realy weird). Usually for me, it will be more with tv shows and fandom. I get that it is important for some people, but sometimes, 90% of a fandom is just romance, and some tv shows only relies on ships and not on the plot after a few seasons, or will do unnecessary romance just because romance sells. In real life, some thing hat was tiring once, was when I was eating at McDonalds. There were three people next to me, and one of the girl was explaining her problems with her couple. It was something like "I love him but our couple doesn't work and that makes me sad". It lasted during all the time I was eating and went in circle. I wanted to say : "You are not compatible? Break up! It hurts on the moment but you'll find someone you are more comfortable with. That's simple, no need to argue during 30 minutes".

I don't feel any attraction so I can't help. For what I understood, the feeling is different, but I can't explain more.

I got aromantic.

I don't think your writing is terrible, at least I am French and I understood everything. I heard the terms "fictoromantic" for people who are only romantically attracted to fictional characters. I think you can identify with it if you feel like so, though aromantic can also work. For what you say, it seems you could be on the aromantic spectrum. I am aro ace. I never had a crush. Luckily people never asked me what my type was, but if they did I would have been unable to answer. When I was your age, I didn't know if I liked boys or girls, so having a type? I couldn't. Also not related but if you think you have depression, it is better to seek help even if it can be very hard to open about such things. I know it first hand. It is very hard to feel depressive thoughts alone, and they don't go away when we do nothing about it. But it goes better when treated.

@Leia WilliamsThere are 8 books in the Artemis Fowl though they kinda be read independently (that's a bit like Harry Potter, each book has its own story, though it's clearer if you read it in order). The author also started a spin-off series. I haven't read it yet but I heard the first book was good too.

For some reason in these teen movies, it goes with the following : girl met a boy who is at best not that great, at worst toxic, then in a sequel she met another guy who is nice and cool and everything, but somehow, she still prefer the one who treat her like crap. I don't get that.

Recently, I discovered the Artemis Fowl series and (platonically) feel in love with it. For those who don't know it, well first of all, stay away from the movie (and I'm going to say it twice for people in the back, stay away from the movie!). It a mix of fantasy (for the fairy and the magic) and sci-fiction (for the weapons and the vessels). What I particular like in these books (and the main reason why you should stay away from the movie, did I already said it?) is Artemis Fowl. That kid has one of the best redemption arc that I have ever seen. Also the humor and irony in the book are excellent. Finally it focused a lot on friendship, with a lot of deep platonic relationships. If you enjoy fantasy and antiheroes, I think you'll enjoy it. Book 6 and 2 are my favorite I think, though of course it is better to read them in order. @Leia WilliamsI enjoyed a lot Percy Jackson too. I also read Heroes of Olympus (the sequel, if you don't know). Didn't like it the same way but there are still scenes that are very good (the coming out scene for one of the character, I don't know why but I enjoyed it so much).

You can be asexual without being sex repulsed. I saw a poll once that said around 50% of asexuals are sex-repulsed (lower for people in the grey area). In fact it's like aromanticism, being aro doesn't mean you are romance-repulsed, even if a lot of aro are. According to this poll only 3% are sex favorable, which is very low, but they still exists.