nonmerci

Oh yeah! I like the idea. I also like hats. Same can be safe about scarfs, but I like hats better.

Don't know if it originally comes from here, but Plato write that at first humans were "doubled" (we all have two heads, four hand, etc). Then Zeus get mad and decided to cut all humans in two. And so love is when we are looking for our second half. Litterally. I also heard reincarnation theories that says soulmates are souls that are used to reincarnate together life after life, and so they recognize each other and get along more easily (or hate themselves more easily). And then you the same for romantic love but with another name (I don't know in English). So maybe society only kept the notion for romantic love and call that soulmates, ignoring the platonic relationships (as always).

Funny you say that, because in the show, I headcanon Diana as aro (I don't remember if say it here). Even the actress said she didn't play her as being in love with Jerry when they were a couple. She only likes the feeling of freedom she find in a forbidden relationship, and lose interest when she realizes they have nothing in common. And her fight with Anne is shown as more important for her than her break-up.

I plan to go to a therapist to see if I have it or not, when my irl permits it (so, not right now). So I just have a self-diagnosis.

Is it weird if I think the Pope joining tik tok is not crazy ?

We were talking about marriage with someone so I began explaining I am aroace. I just said "asexual", she immediately ask of I was asexual, aromantic or both. It is good to be able to talk about it without explaining what the terms mean.

That's one of the reason I don't use this vocabulary for myself. I don't care in fiction, eventually I can enjoy it, I don't care for people in real life though I can have a feeling of exclusion (cause I can't relate), I don't mind people crushes on me in theory but I would probably be uncomfortable in real life, same for being in a romantic relationship... That's just too messy for categories.

If saying is a life or death situation, or if it is essential to your own safety, talking about it is justified. If not, I would advise to not reveal this information. Coming out is a personal choice, and often a difficult one. No matter how much you trust your best friend, it is nit up to you to repeat a personal information, in particular if the other person hopes you won't tell anyone. Maybe there is a possibility to talk about the situation without mentioning who is involved in it?

I can't answer because I don't think with scales. For me, what is important is both what she did and the reasons why she did it. You could discuss what happened, and defining if the trust is broken between you or not. Then, work on the reasons it happened, because there seem to have deeper reasons from what you say.

I headcanon Diana from Anne with an E as an aro and she is a great character. When she get in her relationship with Jerry, she seems to only like it because of the feeling of freedom it gave her at first, as she knew it was something her parents would forbid. The actress said herself she played it this way. Plus Diana soon felt trapped in the relationship, and they broke up soon because of that. I also headcanon Jack Frost from the Rise of the Guardians (an animated movie that deserves more attention). Which makes me laugh a lot of people ship him with Elsa from Frozen (despite them not being of the same franchise), and Elsa is also a common headcanon for aro. The thing is, in the movie, the fairy is totally attracted to Jack, but he seems to have no clue what's going on and to see her as a friend. And I almost forgot : Merlin from... Merlin. The fandom is all about him and Arthur, but that's not canon and as far I'm concerned, he sent 5 seasons without a love interest even of he is the main character.

I think we have common grounds when it comes to amatonormativity. We both suffer from the assumption people need romance to be happy. Maybe not exactly in the same way, but that still count as a common cause.

Ok, I see more what you mean. I think it is a matter of people not accepting some words can have more than one definition. Personally, I always said that language adapt to our needs. For instance, the SAM spread so much in the aro and ace communities because there is a need there to differentiate between romantic and sexual attraction, considering all the people from whom it is split. But I get why people outside the community don't want to do that and continue to use bisexual to mean "willing to engage in a relationship with more than one gender", for instance (I'm pretty sure this is not the best definition, but you see what I mean). In this case, bisexual ace would not be an oxymoron, just someone using the definition differently.

They may be independant in this sense, but it doesn't mean they can't be interconnected in another sense. If it were not the case, trans women and black women would feel represented by feminist activists, because feminism would be the same for any category of women... which is not the case right now. I'm not sure what you mean by that? Attraction is only the tool we used to define the term. But when we talk about amatonormativity, I think we do discuss the cultural aspect, so all the things you listed. Or am I mistaken?

Joyeux Noël ! (French)

It is easier for me to live as a single person (and in particular as a single woman). Sure there can have romantic pressure, but none or my parents is paying a woman to find me a husband (I don't know what the word for this job in English, but I know someone who has to face this, and this is not funny). A problem however is that aromanticism is even known here than it is in the USA. So I become a dictionary anytime I come out.

That would be "une relation amoureuse".

Oh they are so cute. And totally aro. I'm not an expert in bords so the only green one I find is the guinea toraco. I wonder what would the just aro bird?

Interesting. I think Quebec has this spécial thing when they are used to translate everything (at least this is the reputation they have in France), but it does seem like something unique. And it is true that when you look at LGBT+ terms, most of them come from English communities and are just adapted to the language... even if it doesn't makes sense. For instance I always thought that "aromantique" makes no sense in French, because "romantique" is not a word we use for talking about romance. By that I mean it is just used to mean a "romantic person" as when someone is into canddle donner and things like things that. We won't say "une relation romantique" for instance, while you can say "a romantic relationship" in English and people know what you are talking about outside the aro and are ce communities (or at least it seems like it to me, maybe I'm wrong lol). But it was translated this way because it just adapted directly from the English language. I wonder what term would have looked like if it wasn't the case. Probably something coming from greek or latin, we love that lol. I also wanted to say that contrary to what it may seem, my point here was not to bash AVEN. I'm just interested to the difference between the terminologies and why they are this way.

The first time I see the word aromantic, it was people talking about characters like Light and Voldemort, And saying how they manipulate people bit never care a out them because they are unable of love. It is only when I discover the ace and aro community that I learned what it really means. I think a lot of people use this word this way, because they saw it use this way and then assume it means "psychopath". However I do believe that the initial confusion is due to people assuming "lack of love = villain". And when you look at the media, it is always treat this way. If the villain has a love interest, their relation will be hypersexualized, contrary to the one of the heroes. Because society told us : love is good and pure, sex is deviant and bad. Which is barmful for everybody, vut in particular for aro people...

For me it is the argument that makes the more sense because I get why it would be problematic if a word meant to mean "queer" ends up with a definition that includes straight people. However, we're talking about Quebec here. The first thing they do when they see an English word is translate it, so I'm sure they'll find a word that they are fine with, and that it is up to them to decide if they have a problem with it or not.

Thanks for responding, that's interesting. You'll find some arguments there. Be careful though, I haven't read everything but I know there are arophobia at the end.

Hi everyone! So I've been on AVEN for a few months and, as said in another post, one think that strikes me there was how much some people here hate the term "allo" (seen as offensive) and want people to use romantic and sexual instead, in particular the person to whom these terms would apply, and in particular the "sexual" people. Which was a shock for me because the aromantic community seems to have the opposite view, or at least I always saw aroallos calling themselves, well, aroallos, and even in a thread being upset about an article that says they should not use this term. So I've been thinking about this for quite a while because this difference in terminology is strange. First it shows that aro and aces communities barely talk to each other (which is not as much as a surprise for me, to be honest). But most importantly, how is it possible that the two communities have opposite view on the same subject? And coming from the people who are concerned by it? I have a theory about why it is this way, and I'm curious to hear your opinion on it. Am I right or am I completely wrong? One of the argument I've seen on AVEN is there is no use for the world "allosexual" because "allosexual" is not a label, as it doesn't describe an orientation, and that there is no need to put all the people who feel sexual attraction together. In fact, I've seen people even arguing this is a majority group because for them, the "allosexual" group doesn't exist, the only thing important is who you are attracted to and not the fact that you feel attraction. My guess here is that the "sexual" people on AVEN are never felt in a position where the fact they feel sexual attraction (rather than towards who they felt it) is relevant for them in a personal level, and therefor fail to see how it can be different for other people. On the other hand, aroallo have felt alienated in both aro and ace communities because they feel sexual attraction and that they are sadly the forgotten group of the so-called a-spec community. It is very difficult to find content about them, and the fact that aromanticism is always tied to asexuality doesn't help. So the fact that they feel "sexual attraction" became important to talk about this group of aro that are left out by opposition to the aroaces, which may explain why aroallos are more keen to accept "allosexual" as a relevant term. So, what do you think? Am I right or am I wrong? Am I simply overthinking it (I mean, I'm probably over thinking, but not too much I hope)? Do you have an idea yourself? I am of course particularly interesting about hearing the opinion of aroallos about it, and apologize if my theory is wrong or hurtful.

It was an interesting read. I agree with everything. It would be nice indeed to have more people in the community and that it is more visible. And of course that all kind of aros feel welcome in it. It always hurt when I see one says that they face exclusion in their own community.

I made my list. I know my brother will give me a video game. My parents will probably give me a new bag (mine is becoming too small when I go to work). I of course make gifts for them and have fun (ans headache) chosing it. But the one I'm the more exciting to give is the drinking straw for my brother. I don't know if this is the case in other countries, but here, plastic straws are now forbidden (ecological reasons), and the one we had to replace them are awful. But I find some metallic straws that we can use forever, and as my brother loves drinking with them and I know how happy he will be to be able to do it again. Yes this sounds weird but this is the truth.

There is Loveless by Alice Oseman