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nonmerci

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Everything posted by nonmerci

  1. I am the queen of procrastination so I won't describe myself as hardworking. However I think it is easier for single aro who are like that because they live alone at home and so have more time for focus on their work.
  2. When I was a teen I said I doesn't want to work at the same place as my future husband because I would have enough and be tired to see him all day. My friends look at me as if I was crazy and they disagreed because it is great to see their love one everytime.
  3. A bug tries to save Paris while being romantically harrassed by a cat.
  4. I am more comfortable in aro spaces. I feel closer to the aro allos than to the allo aces. But it may be because I also relate more to my aromantic side than to my asexual side (I don't label as such, but I am probably close to "just aro" people when it comes to what importance I give to my sexuality).
  5. And to ends this aro awaraness week, the final memes. I hope you enjoyed it.
  6. For Friday's memes, I had a little Disney theme.
  7. I completely forgot to answer, partly because I was thinking an allo insight would be more helpful. Anyway I would have said the same thing as @aro_elise. If I can add something... this does not. being definitely allosexual myself, i can relate to that. doing something about it is a different thing, i've yet to hit on a dude i see on the street. Indeed as an asexual this is not something I think about when I see strangers in the streets. Well to be honest I don't actually watch people so this is unlikely lol. Now I'm not sex-favorable and having sex never really sound as something I wanted to do, so I don't know. Maybe you should wonder why you didn't seem to think about it as attraction, contrary to what happened after you bond with someone. What differs in both experience? What are the feelings involved? Is it intellectualize or is it something spontaneous? I don't really know how it works for allo (maybe @aro_elise can tell), but when I picked up crushes because of internal amatonormativity, it was something that I intellectualize : I picked up guys and thought about their quality to wonder if they would make a good boyfriend or not. It was not soething I felt but something I chosed. Is it the case for you with sex, or does the attraction come first?
  8. nonmerci

    Help?

    Yes I can relate. I never mind romance in fiction (except for the really cheesy one, and I since I know I'm aro I think I pay more attention to the quality). I don't go crazy about ships but I can pair character together and think they would make a great couple. I tried to feel attraction and I thought I had crushes, but in fact it was just picking guys and think they would make a great husband because they were pretty, nice and intelligent. (and why pretty matters why because I wanted some of their physical trait for my future chidren, I should have noticed it had nothing to do with attraction ?). That's why figuring out my aromanticism was more difficult for me than figuring my asexuality. I always wanted to get married, I am not romance-repulsed, and it took time to realize the reason I wanted a husband was because I wanted a family (society taught you romance is necessary for the children) and that I enjoy kissing and all but only if I am not involved in it.
  9. A bit late bt here's come the memes for tuesday. This time I take the actual lines from the show because it was such an aro mood.
  10. Hi! Two new memes for this aro week. I just changes some movie/show quotes. If you think it is funny, feel free to share. When someone tells you aromantic people don't have real problems : If you are still not over Jughead (like me) :
  11. I'd say Plagg from Miraculous. Everybody in this show is all about romance, and he is just there wanting cheese. When Adrien says he must have never been in love, he even answers that he is in love with Camembert, a famous French cheese. And I love him for pointing out how weird it is to be in love with someone you don't even know the real name. He makes me want to claim cheese as an aro symbol. This is how much aro vibes I get from him.
  12. Hi! For aro awareness week I decided to create memes and share it here. Do you know, when you do a research and Google get the wrong words? It happens less often hat when I started identifying a few years ago, but it still happens, in particular when we look for some specific content. Everytime, there is something I want to say to Google :
  13. It might be the perfect time to really start to write that novel about aromanticism. I also think I'll have some fun and create memes.
  14. I agree with @Autumn. With the information you gave, any label could fit. If you feel sexual attraction it is likely you are allosexual but just don't miss sex. But you could also be in the grey area, with not very intense sexual attraction, or feel it only under certain circumstances (in that case maybe if someone flirt with you first). And it is also possible that you are a sex favorable ace who confused his interest for sex for sexual attraction. When do you feel sexual attraction? It is something that is directed to someone? Or is it something you can picture yourself do when you daydream but isn't cause by a specific person?
  15. Hi. I am both ace and aro. I start identifying at 23, when I discovered the terms. For ace it quick immediately but it took more introspection for aro.
  16. Sounds aromantic pansexual indeed. Though if your feeling of boredom and the loss of excitement is not only about your crushes but something that affects all your life, it could be link to a psychological trouble too.
  17. Also For forever from Dear Evan Hansen, you will be found... In fact there is not that much romantic songs in Dear Evan Hanse (I think there is only us and if I could tell her, but that's it). I realize the reason why I get into musical in the first place, even if it not a thing in my family, is because of the songs. Of course there are musicals that focus on romantic love, but some focus on other things. And so a lot of musical songs deal with other feeling than romantic love. They can deal with all the aspect of life, wontrary to mainstream music that is either about romance or confidence songs (maybe with the exception of rap that can have social theme).
  18. Michael in the bathroom from the musical Be More Chill. Not a happy song, but Michael is left alone at a party by his best friend Jeremy, because Jeremy prefers spending time with his new girlfriend than with him. I think aros can relate to be abandonned because of romance.
  19. I meant saying in the end what is the label of the character, not that the character is questioning (which can be clear without having to be said if done well). Usually with a questioning character it ends up with the character saying "I am X" or "I am not X". Except when the show is cancelled but I won't blame the show then, it is not it's faut if it didn"t get the chance to end an arc properly. Author can change their mind too, if it is logical I don't see any problem in that.
  20. Usually questioning lead to the people identifying with the label. I never saw a character that is questioning and ended up hetero (it could be interesting of course, if it is to show the complexity of attraction, but in term of representation that would upset everybody so this is not likely to happen). Every character don't have to be sure and how they discover themselves is interesting. For me there is a huge difference between a character that is questioning himself, and a character whom orientation is left to interpretation, si ambiguity. For the first, the author knows what he is doing and will say it at some point. For ambiguity, we will never know the truth.
  21. That can happen. Sometimes relationships end not because the person did something bad, but because for some reason the love ends and it is no one faults, no need to feel guilty for that. (well, I imagine, I don't really have an experience of that)
  22. Any emotion you have is a complex cocktail of brain chemicals. Joy, sadness, fear... You experience things and brain give a chemical response that leads to these feelings. And I suppose we can talk about evolution here too. Surely, someone who would response to danger by a feeling of joy was likely to be eaten, contrary to someone who fears it. I'm pretty sure even the kind of like of meal we like is link to evolution (a guy who likes the taste of poison had a more risky life than a guy who would throw up immediately because he could not bare it). Even apparences : like giraffs who have long necks because they could eat higher leafs and go stronger. But no one you say their high necks are not real. That just how brain works in fact. It doesn't mean the emotion are not real for me. This is just the way they are created. It would be pretty depressing to think everything we feel is fake.
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