Jump to content

Onionman

Member
  • Posts

    1
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Personal Information

  • Name
    onion
  • Orientation
    questioning if im aromantic and asexual
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Occupation
    student

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Onionman's Achievements

Tadpole

Tadpole (1/4)

  1. So I am new here, I just found this site and was hoping that maybe I could be able to figure out if I am aromantic/asexual. For a while I have always thought I was different from most people my age, and people I knew, since I never had any crushes growing up and felt like I didn't like boys or girls since I was a child, so I never really felt like I fitted in with the other kids. I'm 16 now and still haven't had a crush and I don't know if I even want to. However one of my problems is that I do feel "crushes" over fictional characters (mostly just male characters), but I have only felt that way for fictional characters (by fictional I mean like cartoon or game characters, I've never felt anything for live-action type shows where an actor is playing a character). I feel like this might be because I am able to make up a personality that I like if it's fiction? I'm not sure. This also is the same for my sexual attraction, where I've only felt it strictly towards fictional characters. But when I think about having a future romantic/sexual relationship, I feel nervous and anxious. I don't exactly have a desire for having any of these but sometimes I do want to have someone that will love me and I love back, however I'm not sure if I really want that or If I want something I can't have. This is all something hard for me to understand and explain and The fact that I suck at writing doesn't really help either. But this isn't the first time I think I might be/have something and can't really figure out if I have it or not, before it was stuff like researching so much about depression, anxiety, now autism, (none of this is diagnosed though since I'm kinda too scared to ask for any help), Stuff like that but I feel like this is somewhat different because most people I know don't relate, which makes it so much harder for me to really know what I am feeling. I also just find it very hard to talk to people about how I feel (which includes this of course but I feel safer knowing that I am not talking to anyone I know and it's with people that might understand), and since I only found out about aromantic people a couple of months ago, I still do not really know much about it. Before I only knew about asexuality, but at the time I was using it as a term to say I didn't have romantic/sexual feelings for others and was also using it as a way to dismiss others when they asked me questions about things like "what's your type? what gender do you like?" and just "girl talk" stuff because all of it made me really uncomfortable. So then eventually I learned what asexuality really was and then I heard of aromanticism (i'm sorry I'm not sure if I spelt that right or if it's a real word), and then I started believing I wasn't actually asexual but aromantic. So of course I changed labels (well more of I unlabelled myself), but I'm still confused on whether I should use the aromantic label. And to continue my story after focusing so much time on learning about aro stuff and if I am it, I also felt again, that maybe I am still right about being asexual aswell. Like I still think I am asexual but not to the extent where I am repulsed by sex like many asexuals are. So now here I am still questioning if I'm aro/ace, or If I just haven't met the right person. Also just to change topics so I can ask a question that's been on my mind for a while, but I have never seen romantic love (and thankfully sexual love) take place between my parents or grandparents. My parents hate each other so much but we are poor so they can't get a divorce. which of course is very hard for me because I grew up watching them fight all the time (reasons to why I was researching depression stuff lol). And my grandparents are from Iraq and have an arranged marriage. They don't fight or anything but I have never seen them discuss things and do things together like a normal couple would do. (Both my parents and grandparents don't share a bed or room together for example.) This all makes me believe that maybe part of why I think I am aromantic is because I might have just grown up thinking that "this is the norm, and that I don't want to be in a relationship if it's going to be like this" but at the same time I also never felt any romantic feelings for real people in general (like I said up above) so i'm not sure if this is related or not. also sorry this is so long, I know my writing is terrible too and I definitely made a lot of grammatic mistakes, english has never been a strong subject for me , so i'm not really sure how readable this is. Hopefully I did ok though and it's still readable. If someone can relate to this and answer some of my questions and stuff I would appreciate it a lot (especially about the fictional character crushes stuff) . Thank you in advance. I also again, are new here so i'm not quite sure how this site works. I'm hoping though that I put this in the right topic place and that people can see it.
×
×
  • Create New...