nonmerci

I identify as aplatonic (or maybe grayplatonic, but more aplatonic). I enjoy spending time with my friends, but if I don't, I won't miss it. And if I do, I would miss spending time with someone, but not spending time with someone in particular, if that makes sense. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my friend company, or don't care about them. I even can say that I love some of them, though probably not in the way most people understand the word love. I will always help them, listen to them, sometimes suggest activities we can do together and enjoy talking to them... But I don't feel the platonic attraction that drives you to people in particular. It was very different when I had a squish (I think I had at least one in my life). Then it was similar to what people describe about a crush, but without romantic component : I wanted to spend time with her, fantacizing about it a little bit, wondering how she were etc... And this, even if I never talked to her. I don't feel this way usually.

Yeah, same. It took a few time, but I stopped looking for a boyfriend. I think that's because I never really wanted one anyway : I wanted children so what I was looking for was a father for them, and that was my criteria for a good boyfriend, the fact that he has good genes lol. Anyway it stopped now because as I said, I was not really desiring a romantic partner. Being aro made me realize that, so the "want" disappeared when I became confident in my identity.

Right now I'm playing again the professor Layton games. For the story I find the sequel they make with Katrielle Layton half prise so I thought "okay maybe I will buy it anyways, even if I know it is bad, but I'm a Layton fan so I should play all the games". I was glad that I only bought it half price, cause... So anyway, I decided to play all the other Layton games to remind me why they are awesomes. I started with the prequel trilogy and then I'll do the original. And that's great cause I haven't play these games for years, so I don't remember the puzzles and some part of the story. And the most important : these games are amazing! I really don't get why Katrielle is the one that makes it to switch when it is the only bad game of the franchise. I mean, I get why : they still hoped to make sequel to her games. But if it failed on 3DS and mobile, how did they want this game to work on switch? Because they gave her an anime? That was a bad idea, I'm sure all the other games would have done great...

I remember two kids who dated when they were six, another couple who was 8 and 10... And I think there were some who were younger as well. I remember in English class, we watch some information, and there were one about two little kids who wanted to run away to get married.

I don't know if there are rings for specific identity of the spectrum, but of course you can have an aro ring.

Maybe Klaus and Camille from the Originals. Before I knew I was aro I was shipping them, but I didn't want hem together before the end of the show because for me, if they started to date, it would mean the end of their relationship... Now I get that I like them together, but not as romantic partner. Anne and Diana from Anne with an E. They really are written with this deep friendship, and for Diana it seems to matter even more than her romantic one (I also headcanon her as aro, so...).

Ok, we have to make paronoia an official word, if it doesn't exist yet.

I remember, before I knew I was aro, I was writing my main character having his first crush, and what I now call "attraction at first sight". The whole time I was thinking "of course this doesn't happen in real life, only on fiction but all the books do it so why not". Since then, I realize two things. First, that's not a good way to write if you want to be realistic. Second, it actually happens in real life. 😂

Non merci means no thanks in French. I thought it was appropriate for an aromantic. The romance zone? No thanks.

Yeah exactly. I also think it then forces people to wonder why romance is so important for them and they don't want to do that, which is why they rather deny what we say, and deny the existence of aromanticism, or just of happy single people. Tjat's also why some people try so hard to convince us we are not aro, because se would miss the best thing in the world,,or something like that. Si they portray single men as playboys who are afraid of intimacy, and single women as secretly miserable. I can't count the romantic movies about women having everything but people kept saying they are missing happiness because they are not in couple; and then they meet this guy who shows them the value of a new lifestyle and suddenly they don't like their job anymore and refuse the promotion they wanted so much to move in with him... Or the woman who has everything but feels miserable cause she is single... On the other hand, for men, the guy who have sexual relationships without romance, until they find a girl who is different, they feel comfortable around her, and suddenly they realize that love can be for him and they open up to her cause she is the one... I'm not saying it can't happen, but that's sad to see this is the only representation we have.

If you think about it, it is logical. He played Cedric in Harry Potter and his character died, so then he played a vampire, that is dead. Vampires are known to turn into bat, so now he plays the Batman. Joke aside yeah, this is hilarious. But also a bit sad because he is associated with this role now, even if je os a great actor who deserves more recognition. Anyway, talking about Harry Potter, their romances are a mess. I've seen a lot of people saying it is handled better in the book and yes it is more developped ,but.. In the book, Harry only starts to like Ginny after he saw her kiss another guy. That seems unhealthy : his jealousy causes the romantic feeling. Not a great example...

I am going to say lovebirds, for obvious reasons. And maybe dogs, because cats are aro, and we often oppose dogs and cats, so...

I'd say before doing anything, you should ask yourself if you really don't have crushes, or if you fear commitment. Some people just don't believe aromanticism exists, or thinks that most of us just have a problem with how we form of our relationships. Therapists are not immune to that, so I think it is best to have a good introspection to know what you really feel, before engaging into such a discussion.

Robert Pattinson never liked Twilight. He just auditionned because he wanted to date Kristen Stewart. The crazy things people do for romance !

Four weddings and a funeral. It is funny, but the romance... I don't get it. Now this is not universally love, but I remember a girl (a young teen at the time) who told me that Twilight was the best story ever. But I have never been so bored during a movie. And I've seen a lot of movies. So even if we forget all the problematic parts, I fail to see bow it is entertaining. Is it a thing with romantic movies that are named 50 something? Because we could say the same about 50 shades of grey...

Maybe you should consider queer-platonic relationships (or QPR)? It is can be described as a relationship as strong as romance is supposed to be in intensity, but there are no romantic components on the nature of the relationship. Don't know if I explain it well but basically, it is a strong bond, but not a romantic bond.

I don't think strangers on the internet can help with such a personal choice, but anyway... The questions to ask yourself are : Do you want this child or not ? Are you ready to face the implications of a parent's life ? Are you able to give your child what they need ? (not only emotionally but financially)

Yeah, I've seen people say this about Sherlock too... I think that one of the "problem" woth aro headcanon is that it often begins like "this character has no romance interest, so aro", and that it can also be the case with gay representation (not always, but Merida, Elsa and Isabella are good examples of this). So there is a lot of overlap between two groups, and it can lead to some conflict because some people are very sensitive about their headcanon. And I also think that some people are so sure that instead of getting that some people just disagree, they go with the easy "you don't like my ship cause your homophobic". It is not about you headcanoning Isabella as aromantic, but about you not headcaning her as lesbian. Anyway I think people who do that should work on themselves so they stop projecting their thoughts on others. Yes, I've seen a lot of people raising this concern. It also reminds me that originally, Isabella was supposed to have a boyfriend (you can find deleted things where she tries to run away with him). So insisting that she is only about being a lesbian when she wasn't thought to be one originally is very weird to me.

So in my high school (I work there, I am not a student, for context), me and the nurse are working to increase the LGBT+ knowledge and awareness. Today she gave me some suggestions for the library of the school (as this is where I work). She includes a book about asexuality, and I didn't even ask, she just thought about us on her own. (and I somehow come out to her after that)

That was me when I discover asexuality. "You mean... I am not the norm?"

Oh yeah ! That's why I despise the French translation of "God help the outcasts" from the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. They translated that in "Les bannis ont droit d'amour" ("The outcasts have the right to be loved"), which is, like... Not the point ? They needed help, lot love ! Discovering I'm aro really helped me realize how society focuses too much on the notion of love, romantic or platonic, as something that will fix all the problems. And love fan help, but it doesn't fix everything. I rather have someone who doesn't love me but care and help me, than someone sho poved me but doesè't care and doesn't help.

Thanks for the article ! I find it interesting because even if this is talked a lot in aro circles, outside the people I met say "this is not true we don't do that, why do aros think we don't value friendship". It's nice to have an actual study about it.

I have a similar experience. When I figured out I am aro, these things stop being "things that will happen to me one day" and became "things that I can't and won't experience". I was not really repulsed by it, but it became a lot more awkward. It was the feeling that all of this was estranged to me. I also became hyper aware of all the amatonormativity in stories. It is better now, though, even if it os still awkward at times. Except the amatonormative part...

(I absolutely not made a selection of romantic books for the high school's library where I work... Absolutely not) That being said, Valentine's day is very commercial. And the so one it began, the more they make money...

I just wanted to say that this is a cool projet. Good luck ! I just wanted to add : somethingsomething about how aro and psychopath are different things. Because I met people who mistaken them to be synonymous.