techno Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 I feel like it can't be an uncommon "aro horror story" to be uncomfortably third-wheeled by your friends seeing as we're kind of the designated third-wheels of society... One of my best friends has/had a tendency to invite me places, also invite her boyfriend, and then not tell me she invited him... Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, we're not exactly good friends but we get along, he's genuinely a really great person and I know they make each other really happy. But I just get really uncomfortable and lonely when I'm alone with the two of them. Whenever we went on a bus ride with our school's jazz band, she'd sit next to me but talk to her boyfriend across the aisle and ignore me 90% of the time. I told her it didn't bother me. I don't know why I lied; maybe I just felt guilty because I felt like being aro was a nuisance to her. Last winter we went to a sort of open-mic type event at school. She invited me to go with her, and then when we were already there told me he was coming too. I would have asked somebody else to go if I had known it'd be the three of us! Most of the night I stood in the corner feeling lonely and ignored (and mildly romance repulsed). For her last birthday she invited me, her boyfriend, and another one of our friends out to dinner and then invited us over her house. I'd learned by then, so I made it a point not to say whether or not I could go until my friend said she was going, that way I knew I wouldn't be stuck with just the two of them. And then I also made it a point to leave promptly after she did. I know I'm not purposefully being ignored, and she has really tried to include me in things, but there is no happy in-between. If just I'm there, she excludes him. If just he's there, she excludes me. If we're both there and no one else, then I get third-wheeled. If other people come and I choose to talk to them over her to avoid being uncomfortable, she gets upset. It hasn't been much of an issue these days because he graduated and she's started to treat hanging out with him as more of a special occasion since he's not always home, but if anything I feel like we're even further apart, and I know very soon it won't just be her. Do any of you have similar stories you want to share, or ways you handle situations where you're third-wheeled? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.