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Everything posted by Chloé

  1. Thanks. This actually REAAAAALLY helped me today.
  2. Thanks. Don't be sorry!!! Glad to know that I'll always have the internet.
  3. Ahh I'm sorry my friend told me to be harsh and I confused the replies here and the conversation he and I had . Sorry!!
  4. Well I just found someone who has as many barriers as I do. I also wish people would respect and take boudaries more seriously. Like I don't want to tell you cuz I barely know you dude. Why can't they understand that?? However it's never come off as rude. Just direct and calm.
  5. You are in a jazz band? That's real cool. I'm in a band myself. I am in love with jazz. Really, why do so many people hate this kind of music?? It's AMAZING I CRAVE IT But yeah I'm constantly thrid wheeled so I understand what you're feeling 157% People should stop making us the third wheels like really dude if I'm only here for this then I'm gunna go watch Lilo and Stitch for the millionth time
  6. If this isn't the right place for a post like this feel free to tell me and where I could post this. So right now I feel really lonely. I've never felt lonely because I was alone before; in fact, I enjoy being alone (I'm an introvert). But ever since I've discovered that my sexuality, romantic orientation, and gender are the triple As, I feel more and more alone. I've talked to my two best friends about this, but either they don't really understand or they think I'll change or "get over the phase". I don't really blame them though. Being hetero and having an aro friend and being asked to understand what they're feeling is impossible. I am really not ready to talk to my family yet, and I have no one in my life that is in my city that I can see regularly that is aro ace and agender. No real life person that understands and can relate and give advice and joke about how romance movies are hilariously ridiculous, or anything like that. And since I've always had either Theo, Justine or Chanel to talk to, I've never felt lonely. But now that I have feelings and thoughts that no one around me can relate to? I don't know if I can handle it. Plus it really doesn't help that I want to become close friends with this guy in my class (he is in love with jazz and music too) and that everyone just assumes I'm deeply in love with that guy... LIKE NO MAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS "TRUE LOVE" OF YOURS IS AND I'VE NEVER FELT IT SO STAAAAAHHHP (aro moment ) Basically I feel lonely, I have no aro real life person in my surroundings, and it feels like it's slowly eating me up inide, so if anyone has any tips or advice on how to cope with this PLEASE TELL ME!!!! LONELINESS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE FEELING Thank you for reading this uhhh... ...vomit of feelings and emotions. Really appreciate anyone who cares about an internet stranger like me.
  7. YMBAI you pretend(ed) to have an intense crush on some dude that is somehow popular with the girls and a jerk at the same time.
  8. Well I actually agree with everything you say. It's just that being harsh would shatter his huge ego even more. I'm that person that believes in third chances... so I tend to not being able to say no to a lot of things and I also tend to be too nice to people when they don't necessarily deserve it. But I'm me so even though I do agree with everything you've said, I can't bring myself to be that harsh to anyone yet. But if he does continue, I will be harsh even though I reaaaally don't think that's how I wanna deal with my problems. But yeah, I'm a bit more relaxed since I let aaaaallllll of my feelings out on this site. Thanks for listening to me, by the way. I LOVE LILO AND STITCH AND THANK YOU I REALLY APPRECIATE THE HUG (and the fact that you acknowledged my favorite movie) <3
  9. I decided to follow everyone's advice -and by the way, it's very much appreciated- but especially yours; though I did follow my own advice as well. His response made it clear that I had to stop talking to him, so that's what I did. I sent him a text novel on how he screwed up and how I would appreciate if he could stop blaming me for everything, and that I see him as not trustable, a jerk, and a nice person if you happen to be a dude. Except that I'm NOT a dude, since I was born in the body of a female. And he responded with "your a hypocrite and even tho my friends tell me stuff like 'oh look jack is chillin with ur girl' i know the truth and u are heartless. And i admit that i made one mistake (he made a more than one. Maybe ten to twenty), but thats human. And ur going to tell me that i am the one at fault and that i made wrong decisions, then fine u hypocrite. And never f***ing talk to me again" So I replied with "k that works for me. I really don't care wjat you think so bye" I hope I never get paired up with him on a group project or something as he is 100% of a jerk to me. Thank you for all of this wonderful advice! I love this site and the people in it!! 😁
  10. So I told three people that I am aromantic, my two bestest friends and my friend, who has a crush on me. The dude who has a crush on me was very rude and said lovey-dovey things to me through text, and I told him to stop, and he didn't. So, I told my best friend and she was really pissed. She really understood me. It was my little sister's b-day party recently, and my best friend was invited (her little sis was my little sis' friend) and she suggested that she could prank him. At first I was like "uhh no that wouldn't be nice" but then I remembered that he was so rude and oblivious to what I was telling him so I ended up saying "HELL YEA HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS RUDE TO ME FIRST LET'S SEE HOW THAT FEELS >:D". So basically she used her phone and sent him really creepy messages and at the end when he was about to block her she said "could you just fuck off my friend sorry for the rude language". Then he thought it was me and texted me that he would appreciate if I could "fuck off" too. Then I told him a half truth -that my best friend was the one that pranked him without my permission, that she looked through my messages and looked at an old screenshot to get his number (she was fine with it)- and he said that I broke the friendship and that I was going to have to live with that. Now he thinks I'm a bitch and I'm REALLY scared that he'll tell everyone in my class that I have a heartless soul or something when it really was his own fault that this happened. I don't wanna make the half truth a full truth either, unless I have too. HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION/PERSON THAT COULD DO ANYTHING SINCE HE IS GREATLY AFFECTED BY HORMONES???
  11. Thanks SamwiseLovesLife!! It looks like he chose to keep pushing me away, so I guess being around him will make me uncomfortable and make my stomach feel bad forever. Well, if he decided that, he wasn't a very good friend in the end. I think I'm okay with that.
  12. Well that's what I did and he still flirted with me. I told him I am aro, and his reaction was "oh yeah that is so you" but I don't think he really accepts that. It looks like he is trying to "win me over" or something. And when I got a little harsh and was like "S.T.O.P." he seemed really hurt and angry.
  13. Thanks for that explanation! I'm going to try that and see if she understands. She's a caring person, but you know, hormones. Again, thanks for the advice! My friend Nik has a crush on me, and it seems more like a peer-pressured crush, and sometimes when we text he says stuff like "so what's going on inside your beautiful mind?". And I'm flattered, but I already told him not to do stuff like that, that it makes me uncomfortable and such, and he seems to have stopped. But I consider him as one of my best friends and he seems to be my friend only because he supposedly "likes" me. What do I do????
  14. My best friend was actually the one to introduce me to the term aromantic, since her other friend told her she was probably aro. So, I told her that I was pretty sure that I was aro too, and she was like "oki doki", but she didn't give me much of a reaction, so I have no idea what she thinks of aro people. Problem is, she's constantly blabbing on about how she's fallen for this guy, but then again that dude is soooo cute, but they're kinda both rude, and she has no idea how to deal with her heart, blablabla, you get the point. I told her that I can't really give her any advice other than "well if he's a dick then don't fall for him", "consider the personality before the looks" and "if he hasn't been kind to you or anyone else, no point in even considering him". But then she says stuff like "ohhh but look he's so CUTE.... MY HEAAAART! rip me..." and it's so annoying to me that she asks for my advice on something I don't feel and then she doesn't even listen the little advice I have. How do I explain this to her without sounding like a total jerk that doesn't care about her? There's also been the situation where she ships me with people or says "ohhh Chloe, there's no need to hide it, everyone or at least I know that you're madly in love with him". I've told her that I am aro, and that I really dislike it when she does stuff like that, especially in front of other people, since what she's saying are pure lies. But even though I have explained my feelings to her, she says, "oh yes I'm sorry", but when the next opportunity of saying something of the sort comes up, she immediately grabs it. I know she means no harm and that she forgets, but it's really hurtful to me. How would I tell her to fucking shut up about my so called "intense crushes" without coming off as an evil friend? I really don't want to lose her or create any kind of conflict/fight between her and me... Please help me!!!!
  15. Can anyone tell me what a QPR person is? I've been seeing this term everywhere, but I have no idea what it means. I know what you mean! Sometimes I wish there was someone like me in my surroundings, which looks pretty much impossible at the moment.
  16. I don't think much has changed since you were a teen And yes, that's what I've been trying to do; nice to Nik, but nice to myself as well. He seems to be pressured by most of the other guys at school to like someone, so I'm pretty sure it's just a high school crush and that he'll move on and be fine. I just don't want all my friends to leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :'(
  17. "Your best friend isn't the one who you've known the longest, but the one who said "I'm here for you" and proved it." So I have three best friends at the moment, Chanel, Justine, and Nik. All three of them helped me in times when I really needed someone. I'm extremely scared of straight guys that get crushes on me. Unfortunately, Nik confessed he had a crush on me a few months ago. Then, he said he "got over me", and just yesterday, texted me that that was a lie. Clearly, he has no idea what to do with his feelings, so I straight up texted him that I'm most probably aromantic. Honestly, he had the best reaction I could ever hope for. Nik: Yeah, remember when I woke you up at 4AM to tell you I didn't like you anymore? That was lie. I had to say it sooner or later, so Me: Well I figured Me: I mean, ok, uhm well I'm probably aromantic so Nik: so Me: do you even know what aromantic is? Nik: well I had to look it up, but even coming from you, it's still kinda surprising Me: how is it surprising? Nik: Eh, i don't even know. it totally matches you though Me: Well I'm winning this game of mario kart Nik: you mean you finally got gud? Me: damn right, Nik Thankfully, Nik is an awesome guy and he's still my friend. Unlike most dudes out there, he sees no point in ending our friendship simply because I don't like him back. However, he'll surely find some other girl -or boy, if he finds out he's gay/bi/pan- and I really fear the day where Nik and Chanel will leave me. Luckily, Justine seems aromantic as well, but hasn't discovered that yet (hehe). Chanel is constantly babbling about how she loves everyone in her class, they're all so cute, but some of em are dicks, and she doesn't want to fall for a dick, and yada yada yada. And I simply can't help but tell her not to fall for anyone. But she keeps going on about her dozens of crushes, and so on. She's my best friend, and it seems she'll always choose romance over friendship.
  18. Well I simply adored Disney and still do. I loved the animation more than anything, but I was very content with the plot, most of the time. One thing I did say was "How did the kiss make Snow White alive again?" and my mother would reply "Chloe, you saw the movie! It was true love's kiss!" and I would reply "Well do all the dead people in cemeteries have no one they loved or that loved them?". I was certainly a cheeky little child, but I still loved Disney movies, I was simply very confused when "true love" became the answer to everything. That's probably why Lilo and Stitch is my favorite movie of all time! Other than that, I hated and still hate romantic books, like the bachelor, or Divergent. I also covered my eyes and screamed "EWWWWW" whenever people would kiss in movies. I also said "I'll never get married! Never ever!". Guess I was aromantic for most of my life!
  19. Thank you so much for this! This really helped me. I think I'm short on "real life" people indeed so I'm probably gunna stick around here for some time.
  20. I am aromantic and asexual, and I haven't come out to anyone yet, BUT I did imply it when my mother and I were talking about a romance movie. I told her I'm probably never gonna have a boyfriend and I really wasn't interested in being in a relationship. She replied with the "Oh, you know, you'll tell me that when you're 20. You just haven't found the one yet." I have done the same thing with my grandfather, and he replied with the same answer, laughing it off. My father had the same reaction, and so did my aunt. My closest friends had the same reaction, and continue thinking I have crushes on every single guy on Earth even though I clearly told them that I hate being shipped with other people. My little sister also thinks that I have had crushes on multiple people, while they were all wrong assumptions. Now, I'm fourteen (in 8th grade), and I'm considered "too young" to know anything about my sexual or romantic orientation or my gender. So now I'm starting to think they are right, and I need more time to find the right person for me. It's just that these standards and beliefs that loving someone romantically is such a huge part of being human really throw me off. And the fact that everyone laughs off who I am -or who I think I am- really hurts me. I feel so left out in my everyday life since romance is such a huge topic at school, at home, everywhere. My mother even said that if you don't love romantically, you're almost not human. So right now I feel very confused, and I don't know who I am... but very recently, a boy confessed he had a crush on me, for the first time in my life. I told him I don't have a crush on anyone, and so I didn't like him. Just the thought of liking him back filled me with utter dread, and made my stomach feel sick. I am aromantic and asexual, and there's nothing wrong with that. The only problem is, no one seems to accept me, and I feel like I should just repress my feelings and never talk about it again, but that would only hurt me. So I wanna try talking to someone, even if they don't believe me. It's just, how do I explain to someone who thinks "true love" is 99.99% of being human what aromanticism is? Someone please help me!
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