.CORALINE. Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Hey there, I have a question for y'all just to try understand if I'm the only one feeling it. I know some aros are in relationships (no matter if romantic, QPR or other) with allos that feel actual romantic feelings for them. For me it's a little scary, especially when they express their love and I know I can't love them back in the same way. Also I feel a little uncomfortable. How about you? What are yor feelings when someone is in lpve with you? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MondoBilby Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 As far as I'm aware, nobody has ever been in love with me, but if someone was I would feel extremely uncomfortable and grossed out by it, and I'd probably want to hide in my room lol. I also really hope no one ever has a crush on me because I'd feel really bad telling them I don't feel the same way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueEvergreen Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 Honestly, I'm kinda split on this topic On one hand, I would dislike it if I knew someone had a crush on me, then it would just feel really awkward especially since I wouldn't be able to reciprocate those feelings. On the other hand, it would be good to at least know that there is someone who legitimately enjoys my company, even though I would only be able to like them platonically. So it would just be really confusing and I'm glad that no one (that I know of) has a crush on me 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mult Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 100% yes. It feels like they have expectations of me and desires about me that are out of my control. I feel like I need to get away from it because I fear that they won't actually take "no" for an answer and I don't know when they will try pushing boundaries as has happened to me in the past. I can't trust people who say they are interested in me sexually/romantically; whatever they do after telling me feels like they have ulterior motives. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nagito Posted June 3 Share Posted June 3 I'm not, because I know nobody would be even interested in me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I wouldn't say afraid, but definitely creeped out and uncomfortable. I've had a few situations where people seemed to expect something from me, without actually saying what they wanted, and then they got mad at me when nothing happened. (Come on people, you didn't even tell me what was going on with you. You're just going around getting mad about your own thoughts and feelings.) The whole thing was unhappy all around. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I'm romance averse (uncomfortable with romantic feelings directed at me). But I also just worry I hurt people when I reject them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AroAceGamer Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I'm kinda romance - repulsed, so yes. But even saying anything like 'I love you' (even platonically) makes me feel uncomfortable, so I think that if anybody was to like me I would probably hide in my bedroom in the dark. My motto in life is 'why fall in love when you could fall down the stairs' becuase honestly falling down the stairs is the better option for me :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rook on the Hook Posted June 15 Share Posted June 15 It's complicated, but overall, yes. In abstract I like the idea of people finding me attractive, because I am not immune to the cultural brainworms telling us all that our worth is tied up in our desirability as romantic and/or sexual partners, but every time it actually happens I hate every second of navigating it. It's virtually always messy, and I've lost too many friends to confessions of true love to feel anything but dread when people I care about confess romantic feelings towards me. And that's not even touching on people who don't actually take no for an answer... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wombat Posted June 17 Share Posted June 17 (I haven't really thought about this before to be honest) but I think yes I would be. In my opinion romance in general is really unnecessary and quite disgusting, and although I would never actually say that to anyone out loud I would be a bit panicked if someone said they loved me because I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings but I would probably also feel kinda sick at the thought of them loving me romantically. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
あおくん Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 yes, because i always feel bad turning people down since i know what they want doesn't really match up with what i do want for myself. i'm flattered that they like me to the point of being romantically attractive to them but at the end of the day, i do get put off when someone starts to take interest in me in that way & it's much more worse when i also sense that they find me sexually appealing as well. i wish i was the oblivious type when people start taking interest in me in that way but i very easily sense these things very quickly which can sort of put me in an iffy situation, if i'm gonna be honest. i was lucky enough that the only person that confessed to me so far in my life was understanding of my aro identity since they already have a basic understanding of aromanticism since they're asexual themselves although not aro, so they've dabbled in those stuff a bit as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A User Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 i've always hated turning people down, im a bit of a people pleaser i really hate knowing people have or will like me like that because i don't do that sorta thing so it's weird to say "oh wait you like me THAT way? lemme just *runs*" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 I'm not afraid of it but I'm not interested in having a romantic relationship. So it's more then unmatched desires than the feeling that would repuls me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rinpochard Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 I have never been confessed to. Honestly, if someone did see me romantically and I knew, it'd make me uncomfortable 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R_1 Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 Not an aro here, but, yes I am. I do gain attraction when someone is into me, slowly like 1-2 years. I like it when I'm in my aro state though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASailorStub Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 I do believe that none of my peers have actually developed romantic feelings for me but I actually enjoy the idea. Not because I actually want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone but because that may be a good way for me to actually form good friendships or alterous connections should that person be able to handle rejection. I used to run through a scenario in my head of someone in school confessing to me and me slowly talking them into a private area, trying to let them know I’m not interested gently, and explaining to them that I would be absolutely elated to have them as a friend however. I originally went through this simulation in order to judge my feelings about rejecting friends, classmates, anyone. It helped me scope out my feelings and understand how I felt towards others. I am just now so engrossed with that option despite its one-in-a-trillion chance that I find myself okay with someone being attracted to me romantically. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armored frog Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 someone had a crush on me, but was really bad at communicating it, i waited till i was a 100% sure she had a crush on me before turning her down (bad idea, i should have done it way sooner) i really hate the thought of someone being interested in me like that, but in reality i wasnt that uncomfortable with it, i just found it extremely awkward to reject her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collie Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 Honestly.... really depends. There are certain people I almost want them to be in love with me because I'm attached to them. The idea of getting extra attention from them is appealing, even if I don't return the feelings romantically. But, in general..... it's awkward. Like.... shoot your shot. I admire your bravery. I had someone ask me out once. It was.... super awkward. I applaud him for puting himself out there, but.... well. We never got over the awkward after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raider Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 To be honest yes, mostly because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... I don't want to see them with a sad face. But I can't do anything to control them, unfortunately. But loving in a friends or family bonding way, then I will always accept it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 nah, I'm chill and anyway, I'm a grumpy git and I have a body like a sack of mash potato, if anyone does fall in love with me thats their problem to solve. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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