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Picklethewickle

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    aroace anattractional non-libidoist
  • Gender
    non-binary
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    Canada

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  1. Picklethewickle

    I only just learned the term "spatial horror". It's nice to know there's a name for the weird dreams I have.

    1. squinkiy

      squinkiy

      cant even look it up bcs of my schools restrictions, what's spatial horror?

    2. Picklethewickle

      Picklethewickle

      It's the sense, or in the case of dreams the experience, that the space you are in keeps changing in nonsensical and threatening ways. I have a lot of dreams about messed up houses. Hallways that go on forever, rooms that change location, doors that vanish, stairs that lead nowhere or terminate at the ceiling instead of taking me to the next level. I dream I go in a house, or more rarely a public building, and I need to get something, or I've put something down and I need to go back to get it. The problem is, once I am inside, all the doors leading back out disappear, or suddenly lead deeper into the house. The room where I put my stuff down, or whatever I need to get, has moved to a new location, and I end up in the wrong room every time. I'm trapped in this house, and if I can't get out soon, it will kill me. The house is absorbing more of me the longer I stay there. Eventually I realize the house is alive, and is keeping there on purpose to feed on me. Later I realize that's actually wrong, the house had already killed and fed on me the moment I entered, and used my lifeforce to bring itself to life. My being trapped here is just an echo of my lifeforce absorbed into the house. I can't leave, because I am a part of this place. In some of my dreams there are other people too, either getting killed off or already dead.

  2. Picklethewickle
    There is demiromantic, where a person only feels romantic attraction to someone they've established a close connection. Some aromantic people will still date simply for the companionship, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's no reason you can't do the same, but if you feel happier single, then there's room to question what leads you to date. Do you want relationships for yourself, or do you want to do it because it feels like you have to in order to be normal? What does "enough" romantic attraction mean to you? Feeling like you don't match other people's energy doesn't mean you are obligated to put out more, it might mean you would be happier with a partner who puts out less.
  3. Picklethewickle
    It's not to say that these things are the same, it's to say you don't experience either one of these things toward the person. You don't have romantic feelings toward them, and you don't have sexual feelings toward them.
  4. Picklethewickle
    Truthfully, I've never seen discussions about aromanticism by itself anywhere but here. I see the rare flag on Pinterest, but that's not a discussion.
  5. Picklethewickle
    Not really a slogan, but my go-to phrase for being aroace is "I am already complete".
  6. Picklethewickle
    I can't give you any advice on maintaining relationships, or tell you what romantic attraction feels like, but I can tell you that you don't have a knack for attracting toxic people. Toxic people hang on to everyone, and you happened to be near. There is no skill or special trait to bring toxic people in your life. The only skill you need with these people is getting them to leave. The important thing is to be open to your own feelings. Reflect on if you actually want a relationship, and what you want to get out of it. There is a lot of emphasis on being long-term, but the value in a relationship isn't how long it lasts, it is what you get out of the connections you form.
  7. Picklethewickle
    Thank you for providing a description, as I didn't know what the question meant. In my case, no, I don't feel a pull toward people or a special delight in being with a certain person. I guess this just reinforces that I'm anattractional, as everyone else is saying yes.
  8. Picklethewickle
    I really liked The Cobra Event, and The Hot Zone.
  9. Picklethewickle
    I'm the same. Over time, I've lost more and more tolerance toward romantic relationships in fiction. It's reached the point that whenever there is a relationship scene I have to skip that paragraph. I also read a lot of fanfiction, and there was a time I would read everything in the fandom I was in the mood for, even the ones with pairings. I thought I would get more comfortable with shipping if I was exposed to it, but instead my feelings grew more repulsed. Now I can't even look at the ones with pairing tags, which unfortunately cuts out a lot of fanfiction. I too miss reading without the story being ruined for me.
  10. Picklethewickle
    Invalidation sucks. I'm proud of you for opening up about who you are. I'm glad you come here and share with us.
  11. Picklethewickle
    This kind of brings to mind the "Tiffany problem", where we feel like we can't use certain words or express certain attitudes because it doesn't align with readers opinions of a setting or time period. If you think about it, there are a lot of words we use that don't fit readily into a specific setting, but we use them anyway because they are common to us, and readers will understand them readily. If we wanted to create an entirely new world, and completely avoid colloquial words and expressions, we would have to invent a new language for ever book, and no one would bother to read it. There are lots of words fantasy settings arguably shouldn't have. We use them anyway. For what little it is worth, many authors have put in considerably less concern towards maintaining setting and language use, and they get published anyway. I read a lot of science fiction, and many an author has used cliches and common expressions simply by changing a few words to gibberish. You see a lot of "stuck between a rock and a smergedeblurgedeeblurp", and it's counted as a brand-new alien expression. I'm not saying you should do this exactly, it's lazy and dumb, but I am saying you can use the word "aromantic" to describe someone who is aromantic.
  12. Picklethewickle
    Erotic fantasy, particularly involving creatures, has grown into a big genre. I'm finding that's what people assume fantasy is, and that plotline based stories involving the struggle of good and evil is just some old-fashioned gimmick that died out 30 years ago.
  13. Picklethewickle
    Yes. I like fantasy, but I've given up reading it because it's too hard to find something that isn't either a love story that takes places on a world with two moons, or tentacle porn.
  14. Picklethewickle

    Why is it always "These actors are just like their characters!" and never "These actors have engaged themselves in their work to the point aspects of their own personality have started to bleed through"? Can't characters be like their actors?

  15. Picklethewickle
    Feelings do change, which includes becoming more prominent. It can also be that your thoughts around the matter are changing as you reflect on yourself more. It sometimes happens that people focus on the things they like about the idea of relationships, glossing over the parts that don't work for them or convincing themselves they will like it in the right circumstances. When people come to realize they are aromantic they look more honestly at what a relationship might actually include, and start to acknowledge there are some things they don't want at all. That can make them less eager for relationships.
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