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    aroace anattractional non-libidoist
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  1. I'm tired because I slept poorly last night, but I'm staying up late because I slept poorly last night and I don't want to do it again. Maybe if I get tired enough.

    1. Ekaterina


      Bad idea actually, you may sleep poorly again because of not being relaxed and/or missing the time your biological clock is adjusted for. Speaking from experience. To get healthy sleep an important thing is to follow the sleeping regime. 

  2. It doesn't really matter to me what personality they have, as aroace people are as varied and individual as the next group of people. What matters to me, intensely, is that they not conform to amatonormativity. I've attempted reading a few books with representation, and all the ones I've seen have tried so hard to assure the readers that aros and aces can have relationships that are indistinguishable from the standard romantic/sexual pairing. Not only that, the writer will pick some additional form of attraction or connection and exaggerate it over the top to compensate for being aro or ace. Aros get portrayed as disturbingly obsessed with their friends and more sexually available than a blow-up doll to compensate for being aro. Aces get so sickeningly romantic it's like they suck shit straight out of cupid's ass. Both groups get shown as desperate for relationships, so they can fit in and be normal and finally feel the "wonderful things" everyone else is feeling. The conclusion to exploring their identity is always the same: they get a date. Being aroace isn't a lack or a defect that has to be made up for with other passions, especially not passions that revolve around other people.
  3. No, I don't believe people are meant for each other, or that someone or something intends them for each other. People can connect to each other, but I don't believe that connection can only occur between people who are made to be soulmates. Connections develop because people put the work in, not because they found the correct person they were made to find. I also don't like how the concept of soulmates is exlusively framed in pairs, one to one. Everyone is a full person, they don't need an adjunct to make them whole. People who connect to more than one person aren't doing life or "souls" wrong.
  4. What does this even mean? What is it trying to get me to do? Something is most certainly not working anymore.
  5. I'm romance repulsed, but I only relate to some of this. I can't stand romance in stories, and my feelings toward shipping in fanfiction are getting worse all the time. I feel very uncomfortable hearing people talk about their relationships. I'm aroace though, and I don't want relationships of any kind, so it doesn't have the same impact on me as it does on people who are aroallo. I get a skin-crawling disgust and feel frustrated toward anything to do with romance, but it doesn't go so far as rage. I don't feel like other people are wasting their time by having relationships, not if that's something they want, and it's their time to waste anyway. I also haven't been abused, and that might be an important point. You mentioned a therapist, and it might help to address the abuse you endured, and reflect on if may be triggering the anger you feel. I don't consider there to be anything unhealthy about romance-aversion, and it shouldn't be something you or your therapist tries to cure away. Rather, anger to the point it interfers with your ability to cope with daily life, and impacts your ability to spend time with your friends or seek sexual relationships of your own, is unhealthy. Focus your therapy on healing what it is about relationships that causes you pain.
  6. The Japanese beetles are back. They are on every plant. They are on the sidewalks. They are all over the neighbourhood. Some kind of hard-shell bug smacked into my face today, and I'm pretty sure it was one of them.
  7. It was. I legitimately mistook it for egg nog. I guess the candy cane version has a lot more sugar and fat than the regular. I don't know what regular coffee whitener tastes like.
  8. Do you feel that, on average, most people are born aromantic? Born asexual? Or are people more likely to become aromantic in the course of their lives? To become asexual? (Please note before you answer that this is not multiple choice.) The option "It's sort of a mix" is open to interpretation, so feel free to add in the comments just how you interpret that response. It can be used to mean "Some people are born aromantic/asexual, while others can change from one orientation to another." It can mean "There is no obvious majority." It can mean "There is no real way to know." It can mean "These orientations are valid no matter how you come by them. It doesn't matter if you are born like this or not." There are other interpretations too, so share your own thoughts.
  9. It's not? I don't drink coffee whitener as a habit, this was a mistake, but this candy cane stuff was so sweet and creamy.
  10. I don't have an answer, but that is really interesting. I hope you find a solution, either for finding it less draining, or for recovering easily.
  11. I'm failing to get anything done on a certain fanfiction to the point it is stressing me out. Then I remembered how some people avoid one task by doing another task, and I finished two unrelated drabbles that I'd left undone instead. So... progress?

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