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Picklethewickle

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  • Orientation
    aroace anattractional non-libidoist
  • Gender
    non-binary
  • Location
    Canada

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  1. Picklethewickle
    Mrs. Santa Claus, staring Angela Lansbury. It's not aro rep, the love she has for her husband still plays an important role in the movie, but it's more about their enduring bonds than about romance. It has lots of Christmas themes like charity and forgiveness and community and helping others, as well as a lot of other plot points you wouldn't expect of a Christmas movie, like immigration, labour laws, and feminism.
  2. Picklethewickle
    Many people go through a questioning period, and our sense of self can change over time and experience. Many people live without clear definitions on how they feel, or exact labels. You aren't alone in this. As for the part about pronouns, are you feeling like gender has to be divided by hard lines, and that pronouns have to match an exact gender? Because it's okay for a person's sense of gender to be inexact. Anyone and everyone is allowed to use they/them, even cis people. Pronouns are about what makes you feel comfortable.
  3. Picklethewickle
    How did you not smack him around the head?
  4. Picklethewickle
    This was a pretty good essay. Damn straight aromanticism and avoidant attachment aren't the same. Some minor points that can be disputed: Valuing independence isn't a key aromantic trait. An aromantic person can be independent, but we might not be. Many of us still feel the need to form interpersonal connections, and may even get into dating as a way to have those connections. Your point is more that aromantic people don't want romantic attachments, but there is more to independence than not dating. Aromantics aren't immune to external pressures to date. Dating is seen as normal behaviour everyone has to do, and aromantics feel the need to be normal and fit in just as much as anyone else. Aromantics aren't necessarily introverted, or socially anxious. There is no connection between these things and aromanticism. The key point of the essay remains, even with the issues I pointed out. Aromanticism is not the same as avoidant attachment, nor is it caused by childhood emotional neglect.
  5. Picklethewickle

    Every time Pinterest repeatedly suggests the same pin I told it "don't show me again" I first get mad, thinking "Not this shit again. What part of 'don't show me this again' don't you understand. Don't show me this shit." Then I think about how that pin is someone's creation, and might even be important to that person. Then I wonder if my own created pins are showing up the feed of someone who doesn't care about that stuff, unwanted and annoying, driving them batshit, and I get mad at Pinterest again, like "For the love of God stop showing people shit."

  6. Picklethewickle
    "You must of had your heart broken."
  7. Picklethewickle

    I only just learned the term "spatial horror". It's nice to know there's a name for the weird dreams I have.

    1. squinkiy

      squinkiy

      cant even look it up bcs of my schools restrictions, what's spatial horror?

    2. Picklethewickle

      Picklethewickle

      It's the sense, or in the case of dreams the experience, that the space you are in keeps changing in nonsensical and threatening ways. I have a lot of dreams about messed up houses. Hallways that go on forever, rooms that change location, doors that vanish, stairs that lead nowhere or terminate at the ceiling instead of taking me to the next level. I dream I go in a house, or more rarely a public building, and I need to get something, or I've put something down and I need to go back to get it. The problem is, once I am inside, all the doors leading back out disappear, or suddenly lead deeper into the house. The room where I put my stuff down, or whatever I need to get, has moved to a new location, and I end up in the wrong room every time. I'm trapped in this house, and if I can't get out soon, it will kill me. The house is absorbing more of me the longer I stay there. Eventually I realize the house is alive, and is keeping there on purpose to feed on me. Later I realize that's actually wrong, the house had already killed and fed on me the moment I entered, and used my lifeforce to bring itself to life. My being trapped here is just an echo of my lifeforce absorbed into the house. I can't leave, because I am a part of this place. In some of my dreams there are other people too, either getting killed off or already dead.

  8. Picklethewickle
    There is demiromantic, where a person only feels romantic attraction to someone they've established a close connection. Some aromantic people will still date simply for the companionship, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's no reason you can't do the same, but if you feel happier single, then there's room to question what leads you to date. Do you want relationships for yourself, or do you want to do it because it feels like you have to in order to be normal? What does "enough" romantic attraction mean to you? Feeling like you don't match other people's energy doesn't mean you are obligated to put out more, it might mean you would be happier with a partner who puts out less.
  9. Picklethewickle
    It's not to say that these things are the same, it's to say you don't experience either one of these things toward the person. You don't have romantic feelings toward them, and you don't have sexual feelings toward them.
  10. Picklethewickle
    Truthfully, I've never seen discussions about aromanticism by itself anywhere but here. I see the rare flag on Pinterest, but that's not a discussion.
  11. Picklethewickle
    Not really a slogan, but my go-to phrase for being aroace is "I am already complete".
  12. Picklethewickle
    I can't give you any advice on maintaining relationships, or tell you what romantic attraction feels like, but I can tell you that you don't have a knack for attracting toxic people. Toxic people hang on to everyone, and you happened to be near. There is no skill or special trait to bring toxic people in your life. The only skill you need with these people is getting them to leave. The important thing is to be open to your own feelings. Reflect on if you actually want a relationship, and what you want to get out of it. There is a lot of emphasis on being long-term, but the value in a relationship isn't how long it lasts, it is what you get out of the connections you form.
  13. Picklethewickle
    Thank you for providing a description, as I didn't know what the question meant. In my case, no, I don't feel a pull toward people or a special delight in being with a certain person. I guess this just reinforces that I'm anattractional, as everyone else is saying yes.
  14. Picklethewickle
    I really liked The Cobra Event, and The Hot Zone.
  15. Picklethewickle
    I'm the same. Over time, I've lost more and more tolerance toward romantic relationships in fiction. It's reached the point that whenever there is a relationship scene I have to skip that paragraph. I also read a lot of fanfiction, and there was a time I would read everything in the fandom I was in the mood for, even the ones with pairings. I thought I would get more comfortable with shipping if I was exposed to it, but instead my feelings grew more repulsed. Now I can't even look at the ones with pairing tags, which unfortunately cuts out a lot of fanfiction. I too miss reading without the story being ruined for me.
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