Mult

If you feel this way believing that romantic attraction is a wonderful thing, then it is likely worth it not to fret so much and just be open to romantic relationships. Media greatly exaggerates romance as well, so I don't think you should consider it as a baseline for how you should feel. My parents met on a blind date set up by their friends/family and they're a great match who've been together 30 years, so if you want a romantic relationship, just look out for someone who fits with your interests and life style rather than trying to find the mythical "spark" the movies always showcase. You don't need to get butterflies to be in a romantic relationship, so don't let that hold you back if you want a romantic relationship. You might just psych yourself out expecting something spectacular when life is often much more chill than the movies.

Um, wow. That's just...literally horrible. I'm an atheist, so I can't give advice, but this part just stuck out to me because my aunt died last year and I wrote and presented her eulogy in place of my father because he would not be able to do it and cried a lot at his sister's funeral. To bar women from attending funerals for being "too emotional" is just... absolutely horrible. I assume the men who enforce that just don't want women to see them cry. Men who suppress women because of their own superiority complex bother me to no end.

Are you concerned this has something to do with him being aromantic? Although you say the only issue is your sexual relationship, so that's suggests to me that your romantic relationship is not a problem, is that right? If you are looking for advice about how he could last long in a sexual encounter then you've come to the wrong place. This forum is about aromantic relationships rather than sexual relationships.

Ngl I wish this were true about me. 😶

I'm glad someone on the Reddit mod team has some sense to see that the ban was ridiculous

There's a bit of a thing where some people suggest that being romantic but not sexual in a relationship is more "pure" or "genuine" and there's definitely an emphasis on having relationships which doesn't align with who I am. Some people get a little defensive when I suggest that I don't see much of a difference between sexual and romantic attractions and they are equally unimportant to me. There's definitely belittling going around based on age too where certain people insist that young people can't call themselves ace or aro unless they've have "experience" while being vague about what that is supposed to entail, and it just ends up being about their age and the commenter projecting their own experience onto others.

Blame the utter stupidity coming from those who say that. Imagine saying the same thing to a straight person: "maybe you just haven't met 'the one' who's of your gender." A lot of things people say to non romantic and non sexual people wouldn't be said to anyone else because too many people hold the belief that everyone wants a relationship and would be happier in one. Personally I believe that there isn't a point in humouring that idea as long as you are happy the way you are. Why waste time thinking about it when it doesn't matter? There's nothing wrong with not being interested in a relationship. The only issue is with those who feel upset over not having a relationship. Personally I don't believe those people should wallow in self pity for believing that they are aromantic because they're likely just psyching themselves out and convinced by media that portrays romance as some supernatural mind blowing experience. They're expecting all these fantastical feelings and believe they'll die alone and sad because they don't have that. In that case, exploring the idea that they may not be aromantic is worth it because they are clearly unhappy and I don't think people simply saying "it's okay to be aro" helps their situation. You're the only person who knows how you feel and what you think, so if you are comfortable the way you are, there's no reason to wonder so much about whether you are "actually" aromantic. For some of us, it is easy to know because our wants in life and our innate feelings of self match up very clearly. I don't experience attraction and I have no interest in engaging in any relationships that are not platonic or familial. This is how I am and I am comfortable that way. Having to reject people and get them to understand that I am not and would not be interested in a romantic relationship with them is not a necessary step in identifying who I am. Consider what you want in life and how you feel now, and you can address this at any time in the future. If there is no conflict with how you feel and what you want, why bother thinking about something that hasn't happened like catching feelings for someone?

So they punish everyone who tries to express that they experience zero romantic attraction since declaring aromantic as an "umbrella term". 🙄 I shouldn't be surprised. Sounds like they've effectively censored anyone who specifies that they don't experience romantic attraction at all. There's similar issues in the Asexual community. Strangely some people act like experiencing no attraction at all is either not possible or somehow offensive to those who experience some attraction. I've been told by certain people in the Ace community that I shouldn't say that I will never fall in love because I'm "not a fortune teller". They act like we have to be open to being in a relationship because some people realize they actually do experience attraction later in life and they say that I have to avoid saying "never" or else I'll be "embarrassed" in the future. I have to wonder why they feel like that's their business.

I can't really think of any either but I also never really looked to characters as reflections of myself.

Uh...what the what... They want aromantic to be an umbrella but don't want people who experience no attraction to have any specific identity? Do they think saying you're "fully aromantic" or "totally aromantic" is not "divisive" or do they want you to just use the "umbrella"? Ugh 🤦

This is a good point about how being single does not equal being aromantic, and I think equating being aromantic to simply being single would be a mistake.

Oh yeah. Actually this does make me think of the "4B" movement. It's, uh, I think it straight women who choose to not have relationships or children. Something like no boys, no babies...and two other things starting with a B.... I'm not certain about what exactly it is but I've seen people talking about it. Anyway, apparently this started in South Korea from what I heard because of domestic violence and lack of opportunities for women among other things. So while a straight woman who is choosing to be single and live a single life would appear similar to myself on the surface, we are still very different. I'm not interested in guys or girls equally and I am just living the way I am while they are single because they want to make a statement about how single women's lives are better compared to being married and dealing with a lot of uncompensated labour and being mistreated. I do respect them for making that choice for themselves, but I don't relate to their motivations because I am single simply because I am not interested in relationships at all and am happy this way. Ignoring the differences between being aromantic and practicing the "four Bs" ignores that there are external pressures resulting in these people choosing a single lifestyle. That reason is the entire point of their lifestyle. These women are making a statement, so lumping them in with aromantics who are just simply living the way they are just undermines the whole reason they are living a single life. I also would not like people believing that I would get into a relationship with "the right man" because even if there was a guy or girl for that matter who is everyone's ideal and it super helpful, emotionally available and attractive, I still wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. Me being single has literally nothing to do with the actions or personality or attractions of another person; they don't factor into the equation at all. [Edit] just looked it up and the reason why I couldn't come up with 4 words that start with B is because obviously the words it refers to are in Korean. So yeah, me and a 4B woman would both be single but we wouldn't have any similarities past that

I'm neither romantic or sexual and I don't crush on characters, so I can't answer this question, but growing up I found this confusing as well. I really could not understand why kids would get possessive over and be so interested in fictional characters. I could never understand the existence of character/person content like people drawing their personas with the characters in a romantic way or people writing fanfiction about characters where the person reading it is involved in the story and involved with a character romantically. It was just very bizarre to me. I could understand people "shipping" characters with each other as there's a competitive aspect to that where people would get very defensive over fictional relationships, but inserting oneself into fiction wasn't something that I understood. Now I think it's about fantasizing about a relationship for oneself. They like that character and they want a relationship, so they fantasize about themselves being in a relationship with that character. I'm probably the one people would consider weird because I actually really enjoy characters rejecting me in videogames and I want more of that. I just really enjoy a character telling me that they just want to be my friend because personally platonic relationships are much more meaningful and important to me, so someone telling me that they don't want romance and just want to be friends is literally the best thing ever. This is most likely tied to how I hated being confessed to and still hate dealing with someone's unrequited romantic/sexual feelings for me. The whole reason I played Undertale was because my twin was playing it and she chose the flirt option with Papyrus as a joke which resulted in an adorable set of events where he clearly didn't understand romance either but determined that he just wanted friendship. I've only seen a similar scenario in the video game Hades where you can romance Dusa as Zagreus but she also determines that she only wants to be friends and she realized that she was idolizing Zagreus rather than actually being in love with him romantically. I haven't actually been able to get to that point in the game but eventually I want to play through that scenario. So I will pursue romantic options with fictional characters in videogames to get rejected. So I suppose romantic interest in fictional character is like a role-play of sorts. An avenue for fantasizing about something one wants.

Personally I don't consider who I am as any sort of conscious choice. I am who I am and I am happy without any sort of sexual/romantic relationship and I do not want to be involved in any of that at all. There was no external pressure or environment that lead me to be that way so it is just what I happen to naturally be. I don't particularly feel very connected to a nun or monk who are part of a religion that demands that they maintain a celebrate and unmarried position—I even had relatives in Italy who were nuns, monks, priests like this. I just don't really consider who I am as a lifestyle or some sort of sacrifice for religious reasons. I am simply not attracted to nor at all interested in any sort of relationship outside of a platonic or familial relationship. Even when people choose not to or cannot enter a relationship, I don't have much to talk about with them when discussing their attraction or romantic interests. Personally I just want something that describes a person who is void of both sexual and romantic attraction and interest. I'm just not someone who separates the two and there's nothing in use right now that actually describes that, so I'm actually more interested in words that are more specific rather than less.

Not having my self worth based on the attention or affections of another person. After rejecting someone who cried and wanted me to just pretend to be in a relationship with her to make her feel better about herself, I am really not missing anything honestly.